Relationships go through many cycles. Some cycles are difficult and make you question if your relationship is worth holding on to or if you both have started to drift as individuals, and it is time to part. Determining whether you’ve just hit a rough patch or if it is indicative of deeper problems that may only get worse if they’re ignored is important, as more than just a broken heart can hang in the balance sometimes.
Although a checklist can only do so much, it can be a great starting point in helping to determine if you are in a healthy relationship with potential or if you are just hanging on out of a fear of letting go and being alone.
Consider the following statements and think about your relationship. Mark each one either True or False. Be honest with yourself.
I can trust my partner.
My partner is also a close friend.
My partner is supportive of my dreams and aspirations.
My partner appears excited when we meet.
My partner is not a jealous person.
I enjoy helping my partner.
My partner is open to discussing my sexual needs.
I enjoy spending quiet time together.
We can discuss our personal problems and fears openly and freely.
I don’t feel anger or jealousy when I think about my relationship and partner.
It is important to me that my partner succeeds and reaches their goals.
We can talk freely about what happened in our days without feeling like we are bothering each other.
I have no problems with how my partner manages their finances.
My partner is there for me and has my back.
My partner doesn’t try to change me and accepts me for who I am.
I am usually satisfied after sex.
I keep what happens in our relationship private.
When there is a problem my partner feels comfortable talking about it.
My partner seems content after sex.
My partner encourages friendships and relationships outside of ours.
My partner doesn’t criticize how I manage my money.
We sometimes have our differences, but we don’t fight in public and talk things through calmly.
My partner will come up with new ideas to try in bed.
We forgive each other’s mistakes and don’t harp on the past.
If given the choice to do it all again, I would.
Are Your Needs Being Met?
Tally up your ‘True’ answers and refer to the chart below to see how your relationship stacks up.
23-25 Your relationship appears to be healthy and on the right track!
17-22 There is some room for improvement. You might want to share your results with your partner.
11-16 Things appear troubled. You might want to consider couples counselling.
6-10 You need to start doing some serious thinking about this relationship and prepare for a breakup.
0-5 There really isn’t a relationship here at all. It is time to move on.
Should I Stay?
If you scored in the top tier, then you are more fortunate than most. You appear to have a healthy relationship that is based on open communication and trust! Congratulations! This isn’t to say that you can sit back on your laurels though. A healthy, happy relationship takes nurturing and energy to assure that it stays on the right track.
If your score is in the 17-22 range, there are a lot of positives here, but now is the time to look at where your weaknesses are, and as a team, work on them so that you can get up to the top tier in time.
If you went into the quiz with doubts and questions, then there is a good chance that you fall into the middle category. This is not indicative of a relationship that is so far gone that you should just call it quits, but it does mean that there are some deep, underlying problems that you will need to address. Having an impartial person to help mediate and listen to both of you could be just what you need to get down to the nitty gritty and turn things around. The biggest thing here though, is that you both need to want to make things work and go into the process with open minds. If that is not something that you can both do, it might be time to walk away.
If your score puts you in the last two categories, then you already know the answer to whether or not this is a happy and satisfying relationship, and maybe you just need the courage and confidence to move on. In order to pick the right person, you need to know the answers to some very important questions. Who am I? What do I want from the person I am with? What do I need from the person I am with? What do I want from a relationship? What do I need from a relationship? That might seem like a lot of very similar questions, but what you ultimately need and what you want can sometimes be different, and you owe it to yourself to learn those answers so that you can recognize the right partner for you. Working on yourself either on your own or with a professional to help break repeating patterns in relationships can also be an invaluable tool.
Still have doubts? If you are questioning whether or not you should stay in your relationship or if it’s time to move on, you may need a little clarity from the Universe. Try asking the Tarot for some advice. Watch the video below to learn how to do a Stay or Go Relationship Tarot spread.
How do I Leave the Relationship?
For most, this is the hardest part, even when you know in your heart that staying isn’t good for anyone involved. No one wants to hurt someone that they care about but if handled appropriately this can be a constructive rather than destructive part of the breaking up and moving on process.
If at all possible, set aside some time where you can sit and talk face to face. If this was a long-distance relationship, plan on using Skype or another program so that you can come as close as possible to a face to face conversation. Unless the relationship was abusive, you should try to avoid using email, voice messages, or texts to relay your desire to end the relationship.
Keeping the conversation away from accusatory tones will help to make a difficult time easier for everyone involved. Do your best not to blame or insult your soon to be ex and try using “I” statements instead. Your partner may try to persuade you to stay, to give them a second chance. You have most likely come to this decision after a lot of difficult soul searching and ultimately have decided that the relationship is not what you want. Don’t let your partner talk you into anything you don’t truly want. It is easy to get caught up in the emotions and make choices you might regret later.
Let Your Relationship Fulfill You
Relationships, no matter what type, are meant to enhance and make our lives more fulfilling. You don’t have to stay in a relationship if it does not feel like it is a positive aspect to your life. Learning what you truly need from your partner and relationship, what you want from both your partner and relationship, and what you won’t tolerate are all important insights that will help you to find the right person and relationship for you.
If you believe that you are a victim of an abusive relationship know that you are not alone, and that help is available. Turn to a trusted friend or physician for help and support so that you can get out of the situation and begin your journey toward a happy and healthy life.
Being in love is a life experience that everyone deserves. Whether you’re looking for your soulmate or wondering how to keep the romantic fires burning in your relationship, a love psychic can help. They want to see you happy and a psychic love reading is all you need to find or keep the love that is meant for you.
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