Should You Give a Relationship a Second Chance?

Thinking the Unthinkable… Going Back to Your Old Partner

Most of us will have to face the choice of giving a partner a second chance at some point in our relationships. I can say from my own experience, it usually never pays to travel down a road that has already been paved with failure. However, there are enough success stories out there, to prove that occasionally the second or third time around really is the charm. The reality of these situations, is there is never one right answer to this dilemma, but rather a series of questions you need to ask yourself to know if it is a good idea or not.

Will I be able to bring closure if I walk away right now and never look back?

It is sometimes a good idea to give a relationship a second try, if for no other reason, but to put your mind to rest. If you’re afraid of “wondering” for the rest of your life what could have been. Wonder no more, and put your best foot forward (just watch out for any excrement you may trudge through as you enter some of those old, familiar stomping grounds). You can always step out if you need to.

Why didn’t it work the first time?

Sometimes a couple’s timing is off, or there were certain obstacles in the way of love (school, another relationship, career, etc.). On other occasions, the breakup might have been pushed by one side, leaving behind a trail of misunderstanding and hurt. In order to move forward, you will need to discuss the cause of the original breakup. Don’t make this discussion all one-sided, as both partners will need to accept some responsibility. However, if during your negotiations, you find that you do not have the same overall values, goals, and direction in life, then no amount of trying will ever be enough to work through your differences. Get personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

“Life is full of changes, and a broken heart is an opportunity to grow.” – Lacy ext. 5494

Are there things I could have improved?

When couples give it a second chance, their concentration is usually focused on trying to forgive their partner’s shortcoming, to be more accepting, or reduce their anger. It takes a lot of effort to dumb down these emotions, which can leave the overall relationship weak with exhaustion. Rather than trying to find ways to ignore your problems, it’s best to devise a plan to fix them. There is no better time to set a different course for your relationship, then after spending time apart. This is your chance to create new and improved habits, before falling back into the old.

What was working?

Before you can know what to change about your relationship, you should assess what was working. These will be the traits you miss about being with your partner. The moments you remember most about the relationship in general. Be careful about following down fairytale memory lane, as certain moments can appear happier than they really were through the magic of hopefulness.

What wasn’t working?

The purpose of this question is to target the specific areas of your relationship that need the most work. Look for the biggest reasons you have been upset with your partner, and earmark them as the most important things they’ll need to work on. Be as specific as you can. Once you have your list of problems, approach your ex, and ask if they would be willing to make these changes. Ask them to do the same evaluation for you. If you both have a clear direction of where the relationship needs to go, there will be less confusion on what needs to be done.

Can I forgive him/her?

Both partners must be willing to forgive each other for previous hurts, in order to trust each other. This is the question that should remind you of moments you would never want to put yourself through again. Some relationships can expose patterns for certain people who are easily sucked into unhealthy relationships, and have a difficult time getting the courage and confidence to crawl back out. If it was a long and painful road to recovery, you may be able to forgive them, but not be willing to put yourself in the position of experiencing that pain all over again.

Be cautious before entering into any previously failed relationship. It could open a floodgate of previous emotions, that will sweep you away, right back to where you started. Don’t let a smooth partner seduce their way back into your life, without some logical reasoning on your own part!

“When a relationship ends and your heart feels broken, nurture your spirit by forgiving yourself and the other person for things not working out. Write a letter expressing everything you want to tell the other person but maybe didn’t have a chance to say. Include everything you want to release that is making you angry or upset. Take the letter outside and burn it in a tin can. As you watch the letter go up in smoke, imagine it releasing all the anger and hurt that this relationship has caused you. Close your eyes and envision a white light surrounding you, nurturing you and bringing peace to your heart.” – Rivers ext. 5273

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11 thoughts on “Should You Give a Relationship a Second Chance?

  1. Kyla

    I think this article and all the comments were helpful. My boyfriend and I have decided to try again but with outside help. We feel this might work better this time with counselling.
    Hopefully it does because we both love each other.

  2. betsy

    Theres no number to set at how manytimes you have to try in order to know a definite answer something will workout but thats my opion. we pretty much have to make our own call on it and weather its worth the effort and making changes in life. I believe if you put yourself first all will fall into place if its meant to be putting yourself first does’nt mean you being selfish i mean you have to think what is in your happiness weather you need to change things about yourself that will better you not make changes in order to make the other happy. no!. its a all give and take situation. we all pretty much know what the other person is capable of and thiers no time limit that you know of in your head “so to say” there is a limit to everything and only we can make that decision if that person has “you” to your limit . so what i guess im trying to say is that you only know how many chances you wanna give..

  3. Niveda

    i had tried to build the relationship not a second ttime but many many times, every time it is broken it was giving more pain and agony and finally i regretted that i could have left it saying good bye the first time the cracks had developed without trying to join it again and again. When your partner is not able to love you, at least respect you and treat you well continuing the relationship will only affect your life, your happiness and peace of mind . After all we have only one life. Why to waste it in the name of a non-workable relationship?

  4. Nelly Gold

    Second chance, wey not? But repestedly breaking-up and making-up with same issue, to me is uncalled for; The Devil you Know is better than thé Angel you don’t know they said, but sometime is good to try the Angel you don’t know; who knows….H

  5. Tani-a Twain

    Yes, I think you should give a relationship a second chance but NO more than that…We went out for 3 years…I saw his dark side….I should of ran after the second chance but I kept taking him back and every time I took him back the break up was worse…It will be almost 3 months and the pain and the emotional energy is getting better…I still think about him all the time…..Time to move on!

  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    I agree with Quinn……

    every situation is unique and different… can’t stereo-type relationships…..some couples CAN get back together and make a go of it AND stay happy together having worked thru their distinctive issues…

    …..while others cannot go back.

  7. -quinn ext.5484

    over the years of doing readings this is one of the biggest questions asked. it seems at first everyone would like to get back together but upon looking at the reasons for the break up one has to reconsider and look at the big picture.
    some think that the break up is the turning point. that it will teach the other person a lesson and when they get back together all will be well. most of the time that is not true. breaking up does not fix a relationship.
    it is actually an easy fix for being single – there is a comfort zone with the ex so why not go back, you already now the good and the bad right? and lets face it make-up sex is pretty darn good. then the issues come up about why the relationship did not work in the first place. a revolving door relationship is very hard on ones spirit and emotional energy.
    if you can take an honest look at the situation and the issuses and you see that it can be worked out, i say go for it.
    boundairs and limits with time frames are very important… please consider that when making up and getting back together.
    after all a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush…

  8. mugisa herbert

    hey’ Eric Leech, thanks very much 4 my daily holoscope on ‘second chance’ iwas impressed by the advise you are giving at the same time it makes get to know what to do exactly in case such cases occur to me once again iam happy please keep me posted on the same as iam geting focussed on what to do with my relation ship…God bless you…herbert.


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