Sex on a Woman’s Terms!

Think that men like sex more than women? Think again! According to a recent survey of 77,895 adults ages 18 – 85, women find monogamy a whole lot hotter than men do… and they report a higher level of satisfaction when it comes to sex.

The study, which was conducted by Elle and MSNBC revealed that almost two-thirds of the female participants are satisfied or very satisfied with their sex lives. Men, on the other hand say that “giving up the thrill of the chase means giving up some thrills in the bedroom” according to the report published today.

Two thirds of women said they usually or always have orgasms during intercourse. This, and they’re getting plenty of cuddles and warm words from their partners.

“Women are getting as much sex as they need and they’re getting a lot of emotional satisfaction,” Janet Lever, a sociologist at California State University at Los Angeles who helped develop the survey told MSNBC. Lever is surprised by how satisfied female respondents said they were. “They’re having sex on their terms, as often as they want, and with fewer inhibitions.”

Ah, but as is the case with most upsides, there is a down side too. While women say monogamy sizzles, guys (on the whole) had a less enthusiastic response.

While men and women began relationships with the same levels of sexual satisfaction, after a few years men claimed to be less content both physically and emotionally than they were in the beginning. Though 49 percent of men said they’re satisfied or very satisfied, almost twice as many guys reported being very dissatisfied (24 percent vs. 13 percent of women) with their sex lives on the whole.

So where’s the… um… rub?

Men were more likely to report less sexual frequency than women. 73 percent of men said there was more sex in the early days, compared with 65 percent of women. Which indicates a couple of issues. First:

“Men have a greater preference for different partners and variety,” Sandra Leiblum, director of the Center for Sexual and Marital Health at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, N.J., told MSNBC. “It’s not surprising for men that being in a relationship may get boring. They feel tied down.”

Plus (and this should come as no surprise), there seems to be a communication issue. Consider this:

Only 38 percent of women thought their partner wanted sex more often but 66 percent of men said they do want more action. Either someone’s not listening or someone’s not talking/acting. Most likely, there’s a little bit of both to blame.

Either way, couples ought to work on communicating, if only for the reason that of men who cheated, the two main motivators were wanting more sex and more sexual variety.

Likewise, if you think it’s just women complaining about men who don’t last, you couldn’t be more wrong! Turns out, the quest for stamina goes both ways — 41 percent of men said they wish sex lasted longer. More than two-thirds of all participants said the average sex session lasts anywhere from 16 minutes to an hour, but for almost 20 percent, the whole shabang (pardon the expression) takes less than 15 minutes.

And what about the idea that passion can’t last?

Good news! While both sexes reported a drop-off in passion after two years together, as MSNBC put it, long term monogamy doesn’t necessarily mean the end of bedroom bliss, it may just mean a little less quantity. Hence, there’s never been more reason never to settle for anything less than great chemistry.

Perhaps the most significant finding (or at least the one you can take the most from) was that 97 percent of men and women who reported being very satisfied with their sex lives said they are happy with their partner overall. They reported being open about sex and taking it seriously.

Need help addressing your sexual needs with your partner? Call and let a Love Expert help!

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