By Christina Julian and Dylan Cohen
After I read the post and some of the comments from Communication Misstep, it got me thinking. I’ve been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for the last four months. We’ve had pretty good communication so far. We’re looking for long-term potential possibly with marriage and kids in the mix, and we’re at a similar age and life stage. However, the closer we get to the holidays the more consumed I become by the fact that he hasn’t made any inroads in inviting me home for the holidays.
Equally shocking is my apprehension to just ask him outright – are we going to spend the holidays together this year? Especially mystifying when we’ve been so open in our communications thus far. After one too many nights dissecting the subtle hints that I may or may not be missing I decided to get a guy’s point of view in helping me assess if this was one of those relationship red flags that I typically like to ignore but should pay attention to, or if I’m putting too much emphasis on the holidays so early on in the relationship. Here’s what my pal Dylan Cohen had to say about my conundrum.
It sounds like things are going well so far, four months in and on similar paths. It also sounds like you two have already discussed what you are doing individually for the holidays. If he hasn’t invited you in on his plans, which includes meeting the parents, then don’t bring it up. Four months into a relationship is still early for this. It’d be different if his parents were in town and included you in a casual dinner. You both may see marriage and kids in the future, but bringing you home for the holiday family get-together is a pretty big statement to the people in his life, one he doesn’t sound ready to make. And that’s okay. You guys are a team and you’re each other’s publicist. How many tabloids have you read where couples get outed early on in their relationship only to see it fall a part a month or two later? Yes, it would be a big wonderful leap on his part to bring you home, but not doing it isn’t a cause for concern. I wouldn’t start raising red flags until this time next year. If he doesn’t invite you next season, then you’re more than welcome to hang with me and my friends. Until then, keep the communication open and the good times flowing.