How Can You Become “Bad”?
I never understood why men chase “bad girls” until I read the books Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov. In these books, the author says “bad girl” actually means a confident woman who puts herself first and makes a man earn her attention, care and love. Argov realized that men love the hunt and want to chase girls so that when they catch them, it feels like they earned their prize of that woman.
On the other hand, “good girls” are typically too easy. They bend over backwards to make a man happy right after meeting him. They will cook dinners, give gifts and always be available—even cancelling plans to be with the new guy. Men are suspect of this obsequiousness because this “good girl” is so giving before even truly knowing him. Moreover, there is no chase involved—she just wants to be his immediately, which shows she may want ANY relationship more than she wants a specific relationship with him.
Case in point, men chase bad girls because they are chase-able which they enjoy AND when these bad girls finally do fall for them and become as giving as the good girl, it is genuine earned behavior that a man can trust and appreciate.
Good girls, don’t fret. You can easily become one of the bad girls who men chase. Here’s my top 10 tips to make men chase you:
1. Let him contact you first and make the plans. He will feel successful when you accept. If you reach out to him too fast or too often, he will feel like you are chasing him. His natural instinct will be to run!
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2. Do not break your existing plans for a guy. And definitely do not tell him if you do. This will make you seem desperate.
3. Dress tastefully; accentuate your best assets without revealing too much. Men like a mystery.
4. Only cook him a delicious dinner at your place after you have been on at least two successful dates at nice restaurants that he has paid for.
5. Hold off on intercourse. Wait till you are comfortable with each other and there is mutual trust and respect.
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6. Give him 3 to 6 months to make your relationship “official.” If he does not bring it up during that point, gracefully move on. If he is really into you, he will not let you go. Men hold onto their prizes.
7. If he breaks up with you, let him go without a fight. Just say “okay.” I know it is hard, but you must do this and delete his email, phone number, etc. In two months, he will want you back and will reach out to you. It takes men around two months to miss a woman.
8. Patti Stanger from “Millionaire Matchmaker” says to give men one year to propose before you move on. I disagree. Give him three years because the first year is really about getting to know each other. The second year is when you finally get comfortable and possibly live together. And the third year is when you make your future plans and solidify a future together.
9. Disconnect from your exes. There is no need to remain “friends” with former lovers or booty-calls. You have plenty of platonic friends who will not interfere with your relationship. Likewise, if someone you were intimate with is in a happy relationship, let it be! Do not interfere with lunch dates, flirtatious texts, inappropriate Facebook posts, etc. Find your own man or woman to be cozy with. Got it? Good.
10. Do not put all your eggs in one basket! The old saying is so true with dating. You will drive yourself crazy if you wait for him to call you or wait for her to text back. When single, it is okay to communicate and date different people. In fact, this will improve your game by making you less available, desperate, and “good.”
Think about my dating tips and try being one of those “bad girls” that men chase.
It really is not that hard. Just put yourself first, have fun and look at all your options. Dating should be mostly fun, not mostly stress. If you are getting hung up on one person, change your path together by digging deep for that inner confidence and learning to letgo. If he or she is really into you, they will return. If you are still struggling, talk to a psychic about what is drawing you to this person and what else you may do to attract them.
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