How to Love Someone Who’s Mad at the World

How to Handle an Angry Partner

There are quite a few angry people in the world, and you may even know one or two. And if you’re in a relationship with one of them, you know life isn’t fairy-tale perfect. But even Snow White got along with Grumpy! Here’s how to handle an angry partner, dwarf or anyone you share space with.

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The Challenges You Face

According to, there are two main challenges people face when dealing with an angry partner:

1. Turning Into an Angry Person Yourself
2. Trying to Get Your Partner to Change Their Negative Perspective

Turning Into an Angry Person Yourself

Anger can’t literally rub off a person and onto another like the flu or the cold, but figuratively speaking it does. When you’re around someone who is bitter and angry all the time, you can’t help but start to resent them and the situation you’re in with them. Soon, you’ll become what you loathe or find troublesome.

Trying to Get Your Partner to Change Their Negative Perspective

The second biggest challenge is trying to get your partner to change their negative perspective. They feel like the world is against them, so you have a lot to do, if you feel like doing it. But know that making people change is nearly impossible if they don’t want to change. If they do want to change, they have to do it for themselves.

You Can Help Your Partner

Your partner feels resentment. They feel like a victim. They may even be arrogant and a bit narcissistic. That’s why they’re stuck in a negative pattern that repeats itself over and over. But should you be compassionate?

According to, the compassion you give will only heal you, not your partner. Therefore, you have to be assertive and demand change in your partner—the compassion has to come from them. So how do you demand a change?

Your Emotional Demeanor

In his article, “How to Deal With an Angry Partner,” Steven Stosny, Ph.D., suggests that “… your emotional demeanor is more important than the words you use, and it must stem from the deep conviction that [the angry partner] will not recover without learning to sustain compassion. You must be convinced that you and your family deserve a better life and be determined to achieve it.” He suggests finding your own words to tell your partner that in the current state, neither of you is being the partner you need to be or want to be.

Unlocking the Stalemate

Be resolute in your conviction that if they want to remain in the relationship they need to treat you (and your family) with the dignity and respect you (they) deserve. It is within this type of plea or demand that the angry partner will be able to break free of their negativity by tapping into their compassion—the key to unlocking this stalemate. Tell your angry partner that you both need to value one another and be sympathetic to how the other person feels, and that if the relationship continues in its current state, the two of you will wind up hating each other.

A Better Relationship

Without being able to tap into his or her compassion for others, the angry partner will not be able to step out of their negative space. Having a conversation with them will hopefully make them see that they are jeopardizing their most important relationship(s) and that they are hurting the people they love. By being compassionate, you not only help yourself, but you are showing your partner how to be compassionate as well. Trying to handle an angry partner isn’t easy by any means, but if you truly want to stay together, then following this advice will give you a strong start to a better relationship.

15 thoughts on “How to Love Someone Who’s Mad at the World

  1. Alvina rose

    Hi this is my first time sharing anything in life…..I come from a very broken family from my birth. I’m 43, i have 3 of my own, my mother abandoned me when I was a baby burnt she tried to rid me cause of alcohol my father same abandoned me too, i been raised by my dad’s mom and dad very strict alot hurt alot of yelling and alot of willow lichens extention cord big wooden til finally it broke on my back, the elders they passed away when I was 12 & 14 yes old…I turned to the streets a very hard life I was very lost I turned to ppl I thought loved me gangs they did are first then turn on you real fast busted up my face. It was very hard to quit everything from hustling anyway I can…my children suffered the most 2 were raised away from me middle child was a always in group homes for anger problems 2 sons had no dad still don’t they don’t care. Well we are all older now all off the streets accept my one son he’s very angry still on hard drugs at 21yrs old. We went to a memorial gathering for a woman who was like a mother to me she raised my oldest son he’s 25yrs, he hates me always mad at me and swears at me i get scared and leave cuz he used to punch me in the face alot cuz of anger, i never seen him in 2 years I went to visit with my 21yr old and my oldest started swearing at me because he couldn’t find his socks and I left because I got scared didn’t want to get puncheddar in face….me and my oldest son found the creator and are still learning to walk a good path in life… 25yrs old lives in a differeno place I stay in a city he lives in the country he’s doing good. I think it’s best i stay away, my 21 yr old he will find his way he lives in another city going thru alot he doesn’t disrespect me, my daughter she’s 16 very hard to handle like me raised by grandma, grandma died, now she’s emotional and it’s been 3 years she grew up around very hard drugs as the grandma’s children got older she seen alot of alcohol and things she shouldn’t of her grandma loved her and my daughter loved her I took her twice grandma was good woman humble I could keep her away they lived in another province, i got diagnosed with a lump on my neck they took out my lymphnode and my gland, i still have a lump on my thyroid this one’s not cancer cells good news it’s shrinking it’s the only thing I’m happy about in life is that I’m ok…I been sober since 2011 I found our creator it was a struggle but I hung in there I used to lie cheat and steal and physically hurt ppl…now it’s karma myou oldest hates me hurts me emotionally when I try apart of his life , i realize it’s best stay away as for my 21 yr old I will be here when he’s going thru his thing in another city, as for my daughter she is so broken but has a boyfriend and doesn’t want to leave threatens suicide it’s very hard on me i visited her all summer lived in my van to be close to her and try get to know my biological mother not easy at all she’s heavy medicated all the time feels like I will never have a loving mother, my father he never liked me lie all the time now he has domentia, i got ripped off in the parent department, it’s ok I forgave them I told my mom to her face I forgive her for abandoned me and for the scars from the fire for rest of my life she tried to burn me alive because of alcohol I’m a listening baby, so I been thru alot and I stand strong for ,you children regardless how broken and hurt I am, I realize alot now I turn to good mediums one lady thru ask the she helped me alot thru alot sends me meditation stuff from different angels of healing, I’m learning still and the same time growing it’s very hard I’m keeping strong for my children I always get rejected everywhere I go because of my struggles all I ever wanted was family..I’m a ppl pleaser, not no more as of today I learned that I need to put stuff in creators hands like the ppl I love because I can only do so much I traveled so much as a lost soul searching for answers family it’s not the right way tire yourself out to destruction to self…so I put my children my mother and my father in creators hands because I’m tired now and need to take care of myself save my money for myself for shelter and food and clothing I know this now can’t buy love from a broken home you will never get what in your mind is just a dream ” a loving family ” with a really big dinner table full…it is what is it have to put myself first in order to help anyone with out a home there’s no dinner table. I had to share it ain’t proud I see a cycle I’m trying hard to change ☺ pray for us my names alvina keenatch my son’s names are landy sky campiou , brandon lisk, keanna dawn keenatch. Thank you so much for reading and support, when u feel down remember other people like myself sober yet struggle as if I was still using drugs or alcohol. ❤ I believe and know in my heart we will get blessed soon.

    1. LJ

      Dear Alvina Rose: Your story is one of great hardship and sadness, but what stands out more is your strong spiritual belief and the way you have consistently picked yourself up and come through so many trying times. You are indeed a strong woman, much stronger than your troubles and much stronger than you probably realize yourself. It was very brave of you to share your story with all of us. In sharing your story, you have probably helped someone else who may be going through some similar scenarios. That’s huge. You have my support and my prayers for your continued road towards successs and your rise above all the adversity in your life. I totally admire you for being the strong warrior you are. Never give up.

    2. Anne Dane

      Hello Alvina Rose,
      To find real and true healing I sense two things. Firstly, buy a tent or use your van to completely get away from people by going bush or to a quiet place for a few weeks. Allow yourself to heal and detoxify your body and mind by resting and eat healthy foods during this time supplementing your diet with spirulina, kelp and plenty of water. Forgive others and yourself during this time and see yourself as a warrior who has survived. Fix yourself and your living situation up no matter how simple this may be and start doing some part-time or casual charity work that does not involve a lot of personal interaction for example food-aid or meals on wheels or even just walk animals at an animal refuge. This will allow you to forget your own problems and put your family on hold for a while as they will be ok. It is human nature to want what we can`t have and when your family do come looking for you they will see you as a new person, the hero that they can look up to. In other words, you need to lead by example and show them how to be happy with life without the need for drugs or alcohol. In conclusion, I find that one of the most important things in life part from my faith is to never, ever look back unless its to reflect on positive things or you can become trapped in the past but always look to the future and take one day at a time. You sound like a wonderful sensitive and caring person capable of deep emotional relationships and a light in this world. Do you also have any hidden artistic talents you could offer the world and perhaps eventually share with your family? I believe in your success with this. All the best, Anne

    3. Alvina rose

      Don’t mind my spelling I only have a grade 7 sorry hope you can read and understand what I’m spelling ❤

  2. Kathy Torrez

    Hello … My main concern is my husband , I feel like he is losing intrest in me. I been with him for 25 yrs and married by civil for 14 yrs. He is born May 5th 1961. I want to know if he still loves me. Or just needs me for his cleaning hoyse wife. We live in Mexico. But Im here in the states at the moment taking care of my parents and grand daughter. Please give me answers.

    1. LJ

      Dear Kathy – reading your comment here is not like having a reading with a gifted psychic. Why not have a reading with someone who can tap into your husband’s feelings. Being so far apart though I’m sure is not helping you feel secure. You’re not cleaning his house now; you’re a thousand miles away, and he’s still married to you – so I would guess that’s not all he’s interested in. But call a psychic so you can be at peace and get the answers to your questions. Best of luck.

    1. LJ

      Dear Sergio: I love that sentiment. And that’s kind of the point here in this article. If you can see how someone is hurt or affected by your (not you) behavior, then compassion takes over and the hurting stops. At least you know from that experience that you have compassion for other’s feelings. That’s a huge life lesson – good for you. See, even painful experiences can have positive effects.

  3. Lori_L

    I live with an angry person and I have to say that everything you have written is so true. People will tell me that I am so caring and easy going but I do find that my partner will press every button possible to get negative response from me. Why don’t I leave him, because I do love him and he does have some very positive points. He is extremely loyal and truthful and has a good sense of humour but when the negativity starts, boy does it come out and nothing is right. On numerous occasions you just feel that it would be so much easier to just walk away and not have to contend with the nastiness and malicious comments.

    1. LJ

      Dear Lori L: What seems easiest to do isn’t really all that easy – as you have pointed out. It’s a complex situation for sure. If you can help it, don’t respond when he tries to get you going. If he can’t get a rise out of you, maybe he’ll quit it. Otherwise you can find a time when he’s loving and open and tell him that it’s not working for you when he’s negative. You want him to feel compassion for you and those around you. You’d be surprised at how many people don’t realize how they’re affecting others with their behavior. Best of luck.

    1. LJ

      Dear Murssy (Love your name!) – I’m glad you’re enjoying these articles. Feel free to share! LOL. Thanks so much.

    1. LJ

      Dear Steve P.: That’s a tough one. It’s not easy to demand good behavior or better behavior from anyone, but I’m sure if she knew it was hurting your relationship she’d at least take a minute to think before she said harsh words. In the case of a parent, I’d say you’re lucky to have her with you mad or not – so overwhelm her with love and kindness and then go outside and scream if you have to. Best of luck.

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