How to Survive Being the Other Woman

Don’t Be a Third Wheel

Most of you may have seen my video or read some of my other articles dealing with infidelity. Some of you may have even thought I was a little harsh when I said, “If you buy the ticket, be ready to take the ride.” I assure you, it was not meant to be harsh. It was meant to be realistic.

The hardest thing in any such relationship is knowing that the person you love is still with someone they USED to (or perhaps, still do) love and you are sitting alone waiting for the phone to ring. You quickly find your entire life has suddenly become so single sighted, so focused, that everything else takes a backseat to that one hope of seeing your beloved just one more time.

Whether you and your beloved have ideas of one day being together or whether you are in a situation that you know the few moments you steal together is all you will ever have, the time spent waiting is the same: it hurts!

After all, you are normally a logical and restrained human being. You are not given to wild fits of emotion and you are certainly not a “home wrecker.” Yet everything about this situation is unlike any of the “rules” you had created for yourself in your life. So, why are you compelled to go through this? The answer often rests in a past life.

Whether or not you believe in past lives, they really do exist. In a single lifetime, we can have dozens, if not hundreds, of “soul mates.” Some are here to guide us, others to love us, some to repel us and others to release us.

In the case of such endless passion that arises from “less than optimal” situations, it is often the universe giving us a chance to release this person once and for all. Perhaps you had been very destructive to one another in a past life. Perhaps this is all about learning discipline and sacrifice. One thing is for certain: the feelings and passion wrought by this one amazing person stands alone in your life. Before them, there was nothing. Since that one moment when they first entered your life, they have eclipsed everything in your life.

It will never be easy, but you can find a good friend or a good psychic (sometimes they are one and the same) and you can find ways to endure the waiting… or embracing the releasing. Some of us choose to wait forever. Whatever direction you take, this one amazing person has changed you forever. Be thankful for the depth of passion they brought into your life. Many people only dream of what you have experienced!

There is a strangely delicious pain involved in being “the other,” but if it becomes a pattern and you find yourself drawn to others who are already committed to another, there needs to be some serious investigating as to why you are doing such things.

Embrace the magic of a passion that has endured time and space and all logic. It is rare. It is painful. It belongs to just you. Such a romance is the absinthe of your heart. Do not let it overtake your world and leave you unbalanced, addicted and seeking more. Keep this river inside of its banks and you will make it through the journey.

Good luck!


10 thoughts on “How to Survive Being the Other Woman

  1. libby 5288

    Thank U, Thank U for this article, very well said, n yes, so much we have to learn in our life, this article was really needed, you give others the opportunity to think it thru n make a very strong decision. Love this article n hopefully many others can learn to find some peace within themselves n a relationship that is not giving what they thought they would get by waiting n hoping. Past life is something that does exist n sometimes because we don’t understand it, some of us continue to try to fix the relationship. Hopefully, this article can help someone out there, very well said, n very helpful.

  2. Angela

    This is definitely a good article. I can’t say I am in the same boat but what I can say is that this is good gauge into a person’s life that are married and haven’t let their married life go.

  3. marc from the uk

    DEAR JESSE I hope all comes to fruition, I had some one wait for me and I did take that leap. How it turns out hould not be the issue, but more taking that journey and learning and ultimately finding inner happiness and discovery of self!


  4. marc from the uk

    ARISE, Thank you for those words, in fact the more I read them the more they make perfect sense! I read it as that is how we learn by going through life in all it’s twist and turns, and the cracks allow the light of enlightenment.

    I appreciate you reading my comments, I find this site so educational and enlightening, oh and funny at times!

    Take care


  5. arise

    Marc, what do you think of these lyrics from Leonard Cohen:
    “Ring the bells that can still ring
    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack in everything
    It’s how the light gets in.”

  6. Joey

    Dear Jesse,

    Thank you for your words of encouragement as they have touched my soul today. I’ve been a divorced single mom for the past seven years. I reconnected a year ago with a man whom I had strong feelings for 25 years ago. We came back into each others’ lives clearly out of the blue and hit the ground running without missing a beat of completely no contact over these past years. He’s in a loveless marriage and has been staying for kids. I believe that this man is my twin flame, as I have undergone a complete transformation of inner healing from abuse and gaining a self love I’ve never known. He, too, has undergone a complete transformation of breaking down ego, changing career paths, self love. This transformation in both of us was instant from the moment we reconnected. Over the past year, we continue to push each other away because of the chaotic effects we are feeling on individual basis, however, we can’t stay away from each other. I am the one who is waiting for him to leave. I’ve been told by several friends on CP that we will be together. Patience is needed for him to learn his lesson and get through this journey by himself. It’s still hard.

  7. SA

    Excellent article Jesse. Happend to me. I denied and hid my love for him for eight years. The husband of a good friend. When they announced marital problems and divorce, he came to me. After years of supressed feelings, the opportunity to be with him was stronger than my self control. I knew it was wrong, but how could expressing love for the one you love be wrong? I paid a heavy price for that way of thinking. When the choice came down to me or his family, guess who he chose? I lost him, three major friendships, and the respect and trust of four families as well. Past life stuff-Yes. Karmic-Yes. Even so, it makes living with myself difficult at times knowing I contributed to hurting so many people, and that I didn’t have the strength to walk away. Hard lesson learned!

  8. marc from the uk

    I relate to this article,and agree with SB in many ways. I have been there, wore that T shirt and still slowing that train down, I finished this particular relationship, mind and gut feeling over ruling eventually the chemical feelings, WHY? Why did I endure so much heart ache? Why did I go against all my principles? Why did I even take this route against common sense, and risk so much? In the end I realised it was fate and there were lessons for me to learn, and the hardest one to learn was forgiveness which is nearly there but cannot be rushed. On reflection we are a mixture of chemicals (the human body) and spirit (the soul) they are like contenders in a sport always competing, we actually need both to be whole. I have now learned to be undestanding, kind and compassionate to my fellow human beings and stop being so judge mental. I hope this makes sense, PS PLEASE WRITE AN ARTICLE LIKE THIS FOR BLOKES AS WELL !!! We also read the CP site!

  9. Courtney x5036

    Great article. Most relationships are past life in origin. Signing on for being the other woman is a position of disadvantage. Do you owe this married man something from a past life?

  10. SB

    what a great article – so true – so painful – so special –
    and when it comes it is unexpected and unwanted and there is no way to escape. No rational mind is working here and no social rules will help.


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