How the Older Woman and Younger Man Phenomena is Changing Dating

Welcome to the Age of the Cougar

What do you call an older man who dates younger woman? A lucky dog, maybe. What do you call an older man and younger woman romantic pairing? Often enough, it’s called a normal response to his midlife crisis.

What do you call an older woman and younger man pairing? Often enough, it’s still called a scandal. What do you call an older woman who dates younger men? A cougar. Claws, fangs, and sleek fur, our dangerous sexuality has claimed its own ground.

We’re in cougar territory. It’s the place were the growl and the purr of “I am woman, hear me roar!” has come to rest in a comfortable bed with six feet of supple young man draped on high quality, high-thread-count sheets.

I am not at all loathe to call this a victory. Women are slowly gaining ground in regards to social standing. Why not here, too?

If there is one danger zone in this area of trail-blazing, it’s the tendency of us cougars to get too dismissive of our younger counterparts.

As a mature woman out on the scene, the allure of the young bucks can be enthralling. They’re on the go, exciting, looking forward, and often eager to please. But as with any relationship where there’s a large age difference, that gap can make itself apparent, and it can do so at some pretty inopportune moments.

Like, your boyfriend and your son bonding over the summer blockbuster. Minorly embarrassing. More troublesome is when you hear your young, enthusiastic friend talking—on and on—about his favorite topic, and you realize that if you have to hear another thing about something you hadn’t even heard of before this morning, you’re gonna die of boredom.

And—here’s a danger zone—when your beau starts leaving his laundry at your place— dirty laundry—and expecting you’ll wash it.

None of these things are insurmountable odds. An older woman/younger man relationship is, in many ways, perfectly designed. The sex is often pretty great, the relationship “processing” is often left to a minimum, and your younger guy is likely to give you a lot more freedom than a guy your age.

And if something comes up that does need to be processed, you can help your guy earn through that, too. (You’ve had to do the same with guys your age too, so why not?)

But if commitment isn’t your gig now that the kids are out of the house, the ex is out of the picture, and you’re refreshingly outside your comfort zone, there’s no reason you shouldn’t play the field. Mrarw!

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