How Do Breakups Affect Men?

Breakups do affect men, but they deal with it in different ways. After the love you shared, how can it be that one side is so torn up, while the other just goes about their day?

Despite appearances, men go through just as much emotional turmoil as the ladies. The difference … they’re not as vocal as we are, at least not usually. Get more personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

Here’s what the guys say:

“If a guy jumps right back into the dating pool, it doesn’t mean he’s not over his 5 year relationship, most likely, he’s trying to distract himself and forget. If we go get laid right away, it helps getting your mind off of being so upset.”
– Tom, Chicago

“Men tend to assume no responsibility for the break up and put it on the woman. Then they will even rationalize their actions if they are the actions that broke them up, like cheating.”
– Will, Los Angeles

“If the woman breaks it off, most guys don’t want to see them again, they don’t want to talk to her on the phone, they don’t want her asking how they’re doing. It’s just depressing.”
– Josh, Seattle

“Overall, I think it’s safe to generalize that men hide their feelings and bottle things up instead of talking about it as women do… to no end.”
– Ryan, Essex

Any more guys care to weigh in? Psychics, readers, what has been your experience?

25 thoughts on “How Do Breakups Affect Men?

  1. Bee

    Ok so let me get this straight…my ex doing another girl every night, every which way, having a great time in and out of bed is because he is so hurt our relationship is over and hurt because he hurt me so bad and broke my heart and he is doing that to get over it? hahahahahaha, what a joke..

    whoever thinks that your ex (now this is coming from a woman’s view) and (if he broke it off with you) is thinking about you? then you are mistaken, he forgot all about you when he told you ‘ cant we just be friends’..? and if he is good looking, forget, the world is his..he has no reason to ‘feel bad’.

  2. Nicole

    Hello? I know plenty of women that use these antics. It’s not a man thing. Everyone deals with hurt in their own way. Men to me seem more capable of letting go than women do in general. The above described seem more like methods to help them to do so. Women use these methods as well when they are ready to let go. Usually it is when the relationship ending was not their idea. Or perhaps it was their decision, and letting go isn’t easy for them so they push to move on. Man or woman we have all at sometime in our lives been or will be on the giving or recieving end of these behaviors. Be compassionate and recognize it for what it is. Then do what is best for you, but remember what is best for you isn’t always what you want.

  3. twin toes

    Girls you have it all wr ong when a man goes th rough a break up they dont show their mo tions because it is a man thing but when the man is alone he hurts as bad or worse than the female because the man does wonder if it could have been something else that he could have done to prevent the break up and when he is with o ther peope he has macho immage to put up so that he doesnt look like a sissy of even worse sof t har ted but in side he is falling apart. its jus t a man thing to hide our emotions.

  4. vanessa

    wow…. Is that what really men feel when his relationship ends up or the girl broke up with him… now I understand. 🙂 godbless to those men that shows true love to their partner…

  5. burn

    I agree to some point ,then you have some men just continue to talk about their past relationships on how females have hurt them or betrayed them … A pitty party i call it . We have to suffer & listen all the mistakes these women had made .As if we want to hear this on a regular basic .. And this can be really annoying !! They don’t shut-up !!!! Get over it . We have to . As well this give them a reason to not be truthful

  6. Hatchiko

    I just don’t get it. I recently broke up with my partner , let me re phrase that , he broke up with me .
    I though that we were going to get married , I though he was my soul mate , I moved to the other side of the world for him . One day suddenly he just ended things . I am so so heart broken. I wrote him a long letter about how much I loved him and about the time we spent together , but from him nothing .

    Now that my current ex has left me, I understand that he doesn’t love me or want to be with me anymore. But what I don’t get is how he just doesn’t care , how he is unaffected totally. I though that he would feel a little sad, guilt to break my heart, but nope nothing. Now I am all alone and have no one … I really just wanted from him a letter or something saying that the years we spent together meant something to him and that I am a nice person bla bla bla. He wont give this to me and has refused …
    I feel without this I cant move on , I cant get any closure .. I feel like I am revolting. I don’t know how, if in the past he was so in love with me how he can just dump me and not even care what I am going through.

    Everyday is a struggle and i don’t know what to do . I feel i NEED that closure , i need to see that I didn’t sacrfice all my dreams and move to the other side of the world for nothing .
    I don’t really have any friends and no one to help me and he knows this …. I asked him a few times for this closure and he told me I was being fucking ridiculous … I don’t know what to do any more ..

  7. Bleety

    Hey Guy,

    What can you do to make that better?

    Ignoring pain doesn’t make it disappear, you’re just giving another woman those issues and building another crappy relationship. This is why I don’t date men who are serial daters, they haven’t done any introspection and healing and I don’t want to have to go through helping another one work it out.

    Men and women benefit from spending some time alone, after a breakup, being honest with themselves to work past those pains. Own your part of the failure in the past relationship, know who you are and your habits and what you are offering a woman. Otherwise you are doomed to repeat your same errors over and over. How much pain would that cause?

    Wouldn’t it be less painful to heal, learn, and then move on after a breakup instead? Or, wouldn’t it be easier for men to start honoring your feelings in the first place?

  8. username

    When a lady first meets her man, she is indeed a lady, but once the relationship ends–she is a woman.
    When a man first meets his lady, he is indeed a man, a gentleman, but once the relationships ends– he become a boy.
    He runs away…he acts like a school boy..obtaining more toys…of course untils he tires of them, and becomes a man again.

  9. guy

    I agree men keep their feeling bottled up we don’t want to show we are vulberable. we jump right in to another relationship to get over the pain of the previous one

  10. abacus

    I agree with ‘Bleety’s’ comment above. Time and time again I have seen the male partners of friends and my own partners do the very same thing – which is evidence that men fear their own feelings, and even more importantly men FEAR women!!! If they would just realize that to be open and honest from the beginning their lives would be so much easier. And I don’t just mean ‘open & honest’ to their female partners but to be open & honest with THEMSELVES. If men could be more in-touch and understanding of their own feelings they could express them to the people that they love and care about. Now – this doesn’t automatically mean that all relationships will be a cake-walk…
    it means a clear conscience…
    what an amazing world full loving relationships, partnerships and friendships we would all live in if we could just rid the world of dark, murky & fuzzy concsience’s……………

  11. Bleety

    Don’t you think it takes the same GUTS for women to share their feelings as men? Seriously, it is no easier for women to do this than it is for men, yet men can get away with their scaredy-cat behavior. This crap needs to end.

    I’d love to see a world where all human beings are in touch with their feelings and honesty rules behavior rather than fear. But I’m an idealist.

    If the guy I had been with for 8 years had simply told me the truth, that he thought he loved me but his attraction to another woman was pulling him away and he just had to go explore that relationship, I wouldn’t have obsessed about what was true and false about the 8 year relationship to try to figure out what was real. If I had been given the truth I could have moved on many years earlier. I was devastated because he didn’t even have the decency or courage to be honest with me. I trusted him implicitly and I got crapped on in return.

    I think part of his fear was that I would no longer think of him as a nice guy. Well, he isn’t a nice guy, because nice guys don’t cheat! A nice guy takes responsibility for his feelings, faces the risk, and ends the old relationship before he begins a new one because he is honest and decent. Anything less and you’re not dealing with an adult.

  12. Virgil

    I believe this to be true. This is exactly how I felt after my girlfriend and I broke up. But it’s all about moving forward right.

  13. Colleen

    It seems to me that men do the most defining thing ever when there is a break-up, your right they do blame the women for most and I think that they dont see REALITY as for what it is.

    I was married for 13 years I left my husband for many reasons and YOU know who was in a relationship 1 month later thats right he was and all for his own self pitty.
    I stayed single for 3 years after our marriage ended and to this day he still blames me he cant move on even though he has a wonderful parnter that bought a new house 2 new vechiles for them and our children dure to I gave shared custody.
    The selfiness of him is unreal and I explain all the time to his parnter get out now for her own well being due to she is a wonderful person.
    Well thats my over cast of men but now i am In love with a man who is sometimes selfish but really from the heart I couldnt ask for a better PARNTER in this lifetime.

  14. Luci

    Most men, have feelings for the moment. When that moment is over, then they are over. They learn this from their fathers & other unrespectable men in their families.

  15. Pattigal

    Well if more and all men would try owning up to their responsibilities that contributed to or maybe even was the cause of many of these break-ups then maybe that will release their true emotions to surface and they too would shed the same tears, feel the same pains and disappointments that the women go through which is mostly and always a natural part of being a human being. I do believe men for the most part create the scenarios that lead the relationships to fail or be put to the test. MEN its time to WAKE UP……..

  16. Rose

    If a guy jumps right back into the dating pool, it doesn’t mean he’s not over his 5 year relationship, most likely, he’s trying to distract himself and forget. If we go get laid right away, it helps getting your mind off of being so upset.”
    This senario really bugged the heck out of me..cause if a woman does that shes labeled.
    What about the countless times also that a woman forgives and makes so many excusses as to why their man foregts ann…birthdays..ect.or just shows detachment “Its a man thing” but its okay!!
    Why is it so hard for the male population to use just plain old respect and actually tell the one their with that they appreciated and not just for the big things but the endless little things that we do our men.I think if men stepped up to the plate even the marriages that lasted over 30 years wouldn’t be breaking up.
    Aside from beatings and emtional and verbal abuse yes…than i say its time for drastic measures to be taken, but that aside why are men so willing to work at fixing things that are broken but yet so closed up to fixing their relationships to the one they supposedly … love, honor and cherish?

  17. Lovers Return

    I’m sure guys find it just as hard as women to break up with someone they love. They’re just scared to admit it for fear of looking ‘soft’.

    Pity they don’t realise it takes a lot more guts to admit your feelings openly than to just lock them away and pretend they don’t exist.

  18. Larr

    Men hurt, ladies don’t ever think if a Man loves his women , he does not hurt.
    Don’t you get it! We will sleep in the rain if you tell us.


  19. Bonnie

    I used to think that men had no feelings! However, it was only with the past relationships that were emotionally unavailable. I discovered that men too have feelings and go through a type of greiving in a variety of ways that are very different from women. Guess what… they hav a heartbeat2 and human as well! we all hurt! just at different times… Have a great journey! much love and light to all involved in break-ups. One door closes and three more open! 🙂

  20. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    The comment that Tom from Chicago made in this article coincides with what many of what my male clients have told me over the years.
    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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