Are You Sexually Powerful?
Do you play a dominant or submissive role in the bedroom?
Survival of our species dictates that men are supposed to be the hunters while women are the gatherers. However, what happens when you allow men to dominate the hunting fields in the bedroom? According to research, they not only lose confidence in their abilities, but may also become unreceptive to their partner’s needs. What’s happening here is these dominant men don’t feel comfortable talking to their partner about the things they do not know or understand, so they choose to ignore them. However, there are ways to level out the playing field by equally taking charge during sex.
“Love without sex is a spiritual connection. Sex without love is either hell or a great time.” – Psychic Priscilla ext. 5637
There are a couple of reasons why men and women do not take charge in bed, and they can be summed up as fear, reservation, and the pleasure of being the submissive partner. However, keep in mind that there is a benefit to maintaining excitement in your sex life by creating equilibrium. After all, even a dyed-in-the-wool hunter loses interest in a possum after it rolls over and plays dead.
Nobody Wants to be Dominated… Right?
Wrong. Why do women fantasize about (safe) rape? Why is 50 Shades of Grey so popular? Why do most men only give their wife or girlfriend a five (out of 10) in bed? As it turns out, most partners quietly wish their partner would take charge in the bedroom more than they already do. In fact, when surveys ask about the best sexual experience a person has had, one common theme stretches across genders: their partner having taken charge. Perhaps it is time to give your partner what they really want while getting what you need in return.
Drawing the Line
If you haven’t experienced taking charge during sex, you’re probably having reservations about something. Part of putting your mind at ease will be finding where a line needs to be drawn. This is about trust, and how safe your partner feels with you. It will be beneficial to talk to each other about what kinds of things you are open to trying, such as being tied up, spanked, bitten, or talked dirty to. If you’re too embarrassed to come right out and instruct your partner, there are other options, such as revealing them through a dream or fantasy.
“Communication about sex goes a long way to avoid any misconceptions about such an intimate moment.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435
Taking the Reins
Sometimes your partner does not always know what they want. Taking charge in the bedroom can be a way of introducing them to pleasures they may have never considered. Here are a few introductory ideas that seem to have the most universal success.
Tell Them When it’s Going to Happen: There are few things sexier than a partner who wants you right then and there. Scheduling sex may be one way to get things done. However, it is a lot more exciting to have it during a moment you really want it. Don’t be afraid to express your needs when they happen, as that may be all that is required to get your partner in the mood.
Tell Them How it’s Going to Go: We have talked about vocalizing to your partner what you want in bed. However, this can also be a way to get what you want while also creating a fantasy your partner will never forget. Instructing your partner in bed can be done in a forceful and playful way that will be quite exciting for both of you.
Control the Action: Part of domination in the bedroom is taking control of the action. From a woman’s standpoint, this may involve her taking position on top of her partner. However, a person can dominate the action in any position with a little determination and creativity.
Limit Their Participation: Many couples find playful restraint exciting during love making. This can be accomplished with a scarf, old tie, blindfold, or a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. The idea is to take control over your partner’s pleasure. Some partners take this to the point of pleasuring themselves in front of their partner to designating when their partner will be allowed to orgasm.
How to Turn “Not Tonight Honey, I have a Headache” Into Sexy Anticipation
Taking charge also enables a partner to pick the time and place without appearing disinterested in sex. We know that sex is not always on the menu, but there are ways to creatively handle a partner whose loins appear to be insatiable. When your partner knows it will be coming, it can be a fun way to build on this anticipation by teasing with a sexy note, text or brief kissing session. This not only puts you in charge of when the sex is going to take place, but does so in such a way that your partner will not feel rejected if it doesn’t happen as soon as they might like.
“Sex keeps the present moment occupied. Love is just glad you met.” – Psychic Anya Dawn ext. 9179