A Break Doesn’t Mean a Breakup!

A Break Doesn't Mean a Breakup!

Know the Difference Between a Break and a Breakup

The relationship arena can be a “bear” to “bear” (pun intended) with life’s tosses and turns, personality quirks, idiosyncrasies and misunderstandings. As a result, there are times when we all have felt it necessary to cool our heels for awhile. This is a break, not a breakup! Are you and your partner due for a break?

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When Should We Take a Break?

Ask yourself, “Am I feeling overwhelmed and anxious when I’m in the company of my partner?” If you do feel that way, you are in a claustrophobic relationship. Recently, I had a client who was going through a rough time with work and family issues. She was a single parent with three children. She was working on her relationship, but found it was nearly impossible for her to make time for him. And when she did, the time was unbalanced and usually ended in disappointment. They either had an argument, felt like things were strained, or had to cut their time together short.

Reassess Yourself and Your Feelings

In her reading I touched on taking some time off. I suggested she take a couple of weeks to reassess herself and her feelings. It is not uncommon for people to subconsciously sabotage the areas in their lives they know need attention or adjustment. My client was able to see the times she’d created disruptive events in order to have more time to herself, though she wasn’t aware of her behavior at the time.


Introducing the idea of a relationship time-out can be awkward. How do you tell your partner you’re taking time out for yourself without sounding as if you’re trying to end the relationship? When a person is able to detach mentally, emotionally and physically from a relationship for the purpose of prioritizing their personal obligations, this is often called “compartmentalization.” Men are usually much more able to do relationship time-outs than women.

Trust Your Feelings

Trust your feelings and understand what they are trying to tell you. Perhaps your career is going into high gear and you just don’t have the energy to give to your relationship at this time. Maybe a family event has thrown you a curveball and you’ve got to put your total attention on it to see it through. Perhaps a child needs extended personal attention from you.

How to Tell Your Partner You Need a Break

Tell them about what is going on in your life that makes it necessary for the request of a time-out. Be very descriptive. Tell them how it is affecting you and what you know you’ll gain once you get through this phase. Let them know nothing that they’ve done has contributed to this situation. Let them voice any concerns and listen to what their ideas may be. Be ready to compromise. You may feel you need to have your weekday evenings freed up, but your partner may only be able to see you on weeknights. Find a day that can work for the both of you. If your partner has abandonment issues, reassure them that this is not a repeat of their painful past. Let them weigh in on what their fears may be. It may be a time for them to start releasing some of their old fears. The Universe has a way of getting lessons across! Maybe this break and reconnect is just what Ol’ Doc Universe ordered for your partner to evolve from an abandonment issue that’s plagued them.

Choose a Length of Time

As you begin this process, make sure that you have decided the length of time this will go on. Put a date on the calendar to remind yourself and let your sweetie know the break ends on that date. Remind them that this break is not a breakup. Check in with your partner via text, email, Skype and voice mail, as time permits, to let them know you haven’t forgotten them. Update them on your progress and share details with them. The more they’re included, the easier it will be for the both of you. If you must travel abroad, send pictures of sights and places you’ve seen and been. Tell them regularly that your love is still with them.

Breaks Work!

Now, back to my client. When they were able to reconnect after a two month pause, their bond was stronger and suffered no ill effects! They are still together today and I foresee wedding bells in their not-so-distant future!

Psychic Tajah ext. 5732

16 thoughts on “A Break Doesn’t Mean a Breakup!

  1. Rhonda parker

    If he has a Facebook account that he has kept a secret from me and I finally get a friend request only to look on it and discover that he is still talking to nasty women and has his “relationship” status as SINGLE….how else would a person handle it? I told him that he has disrespected me and embarrassed me for THE LAST TIME. He keeps secrets…and secrets don’t make friends…..

  2. Tajah


    If your husband says he doesn’t want to be married anymore and wants to be friends he’s trying to free himself from the bonds of marital responsibility. He feels a need to explore the world as a single man. It could be he wants to be alone, find sexual opportunities without guilt or rediscover himself in some way. Either way a change is coming.

  3. Tajah


    I’m so glad to hear my article helped you to see what your partner is going through. I feel he is a good man with a lot of potential, but also a lot of responsibilities and emotion pain. Your patience will be rewarded. There is still a lot of Love there!

  4. Tajah


    Yes it’s time to take a break! You are in need of space and time for yourself! A hobby is a good start. A makeover is better and the results will be well appreciated by you and others.

  5. Tajah

    Purusottam Kumar,

    If you love this woman you must began to make clear her feelings for you. She is in your life and you are supporting her and her child and that’s honorable. But you must know if this is going anywhere and what to expect for the future. It’s easy, ask her how she feels about the relationship as a whole. Does she want to be exclusive with you. Does she see a future with you. Then you will know.

  6. Tajah


    Taking a break is a great idea! Now plan when you’ll be ready to get back in the dating arena.
    You are learning what to look for in a partner because you were able to walk away for awhile. You can attract a partner that will respect and support you, Yes, You Can! I feel late spring will bring a New Love for You! A Goodie Too!

  7. Tajah


    Let this man go. It is not going to help trying to breathe life in what is already finish. Yes, the other lover inspired more affection from you but he’s unable to return your affection at this time. I know six years is a long time but you need some time to work on yourself, love yourself, listen to yourself. When you return to the dating scene be open and willing to accept someone who is going to love you for you–and you will love as well. Peace. You are a beautiful soul!

  8. Aman T

    Yes, I fid your points to be very valied however it is easier said then done.I mean its hard to tell somebody you have been involved with for a long period of time that you need a Break.The reason being is because they may feel if you need a break from them then you must be want to be with someone else.Then if you still take the break they mor than likely will give you your break but breakup with you as well.

  9. latosha mcmillan

    I have been in a relationship for a year and a half with this man. I’m not quite sure I would want to marry him. I was in love with my ex for six years and I think i still love him. My current boyfriend doesn’t connect with me emotionally or physically. He doesn’t show me the love like i want. I’m just torn between the two and don’t know what to do.

  10. Rogers

    Dear Tajah,

    You have written, such a amazing and relevant subject.

    Yes, in relationship everyone encounters a situation of hitting a emotional blind spots,most of couple end up in break-up or break down in life.

    Good job done.



  11. purusottam kumar

    I am in relationship to a LADY FOR THE LAST 4 YAERS.She is divorcee and having a kid of 13 years . I have no courage to propse her as i am married person of 50 + and she is 40+.
    Pl ease advise me as to how to ask her whether she is interested in me or not . Iam financially supporting her all needs per month . Pl guide me .

  12. Desra Dodds

    I live with my fiance and i love him but i dont know if thats what i need. ,maybe i just need to back off. Find my own hobby or something. Could that work? I feel we’ve become quit rocky in some areas and i want to fix them.

  13. diane

    I have experienced twice these time outs. The man I was dating initiated it twice over the 5 years I have known him. He was very clumsy about it, implying we were done. First time after 6 months we started seeing each other again off and on (he lives in another state) but was hard. Then in March of this year he dropped me again. I was devastated each time. He has been calling again wanting to reconnect. Reading this gave me a whole new perspective. I know why he did it. He was in huge distress over the loss of his business and has struggled to get going again (and not lose everthing). If I had this insight I would have talked to him, I would have suggested the space, I would have been sad but supportive of his need. He (a 65 yr old man facing devastation) did not know how else to move forward but to buckle down and work unencumbered. We may see each other again soon, his business is picking up, he is feeling more positive about his life and seems to want to. I shall see. But I have a different understanding now. This was so helpful to me, I still think there is great love here.

  14. Madelyn Parker

    Hi there I wanted to know what does it mean when your spouse says I don’t want to be married to you anymore but I want to be your bestfriend?


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