Being single is hard, and sometimes it feels like you’d be better off with someone – anyone – rather than being alone. After a while, you may start to wonder if you’re just being too picky. We’ve all seen the movies where two people meet, fall head over heels in love and an hour and a half later, they’re riding off into the sunset.
In our real lives, things are rarely like the big screen. There are many steps on the journey to relationship bliss and we often skip over them… especially in the beginning. We end up rushing into relationships that may not be the ideal one for us just to avoid being alone.
Being picky in love and taking your time when you first meet a potential special someone, can save you a lot of regret and heartache later. It may be true that you’re never going to find the perfect person, because humans are imperfect creatures. But maybe, just maybe, you can find someone who is perfect for you. True love isn’t just about attraction – it’s a combination of attraction, respect, affection, communication and care.
Read our simple steps on how to be picky in love and soon you may find yourself in your perfect healthy, happy relationship!
Love your own company
You need to be okay on your own before you can be okay together. When you’re happy alone, you won’t become “desperate” for just any date that may lead you to the wrong mate! Make dates with yourself (go out to a restaurant you’ve been meaning to try, see a movie, go to the museum, go hear an inspirational speaker talk at a bookstore).
Good ole fashioned dating
It doesn’t mean soda pop and a drive-in movie though that’s one idea. But it does mean taking your time to get to know someone. Get out in the world with them. Try restaurants and see if you both have an adventurous palette or talk about politics. Do you share the same ideas or have good debates? Go to shows and museums, take a hike. Introduce them to your friends. You don’t have to bring the whole village, but it’s nice to see how they fare with your friends.
Do they want to have kids? Do you? Do you both want a house in the country or an apartment in the city? These could all be “deal breakers” in a life together. You don’t have to take out the big spotlight and grill your date, but getting to know them before you jump into things is well worth it. Many times, we see red flags and ignore them because we so badly want this one to work out, but heeding our intuition is important. If you’re on a date and they keep getting calls from their ex, maybe they’re not ready to spend a respectful evening with you.
One is not enough
Date a few people before committing to one. Instead of thinking of dating as a chore, see it as an adventure. Sometimes you end up lacking a romantic connection but you find a new friend. Plus, you’ll likely have some entertaining stories for your friends about the date who quoted the Godfather all night or the one who shared sushi and way to much about their last relationship on your first (and last!) date. Remember, you get to decide who is perfect for you, too!
Being picky pays off. When you find someone you’d like to get to know on a deeper level. Try a day trip or a short road trip. After all, love is not all candlelit dinners, sometimes it’s being in a car when you’re both hungry and needing the local rest stop and it’s good to see how you handle it as a unit. Do you want to hit the seat eject button in the middle of the freeway or do you laugh and make the best of the situation? It’s important to see how you operate as one because relationships take teamwork.
If all this seems daunting, it doesn’t need to be. Think of this as a journey that’s just as important as the destination. Keep a “relationship journey” diary if you like. You’ll learn a lot about others and yourself in the process of writing and reading back on it. What you want is out there, so be discriminating and have faith. Truly, being picky in love will lead you to your perfect love. Wasting time with someone who does not ultimately respect and adore you, is just that – a waste of time!Start by making a commitment to loving yourself and building the kind of life you want and deserve without exception.
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