Should You be in Bad Kisser Rehab?
The scientific journal, Evolutionary Psychology, has suggested that upwards of 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women have been attracted to a partner, only to become instantly repelled the moment after a kiss. There are a couple of things that could be going on here. The most easily explained is by evolution. Women (and to an extent, men) use kissing to assess several important marks of a potential partner, including health, confidence, technique and genetic compatibility. If your genetic compatibility is off, you won’t shiver any timbers regardless of how good a kisser you are. Men and women also assess a partner’s cleanliness. Not only is fresh breathe a turn on, it suggests a partner who is in good health and a good candidate for baby-making. Even if there are no plans for a baby, the body insists on this qualification anyway.
Confidence is also important, as evolutionary speaking, a woman stands a better chance of survival with a mate who is willing to take control if a moment calls for it. A confident kisser makes a person feel safe, secure and loved. Good technique (romance) suggests a partner will be good at a lot of other things, including dancing, sex, and pretty much anything else you can think of.
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Signs You’re a Bad Kisser
There are several signs that you could be a bad kisser. They include: never getting beyond “first base,” short make-out sessions and a partner who never initiates kissing. It is possible for someone to overlook a bad kissing technique, but it will always be an issue and something they complain to their friends about.
Popular opinion dictates that a bad kisser is either too aggressive (grinding teeth, biting or sucking lips too hard); too quick (too fast to feel it); lazy (not sensual; just light); uses too much or not enough tongue; too creative (licking nose or eyebrows, etc.) or not creative enough (same kiss every time).
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A bad kisser is also too shy to enjoy the moment, or so worried about the moment, they leave their eyes open the entire time. They either try to kiss before you have made the decision you want to kiss them, or they request your permission. They may have terrible breath, or so much makeup and hair product that their smell and taste are distracting.
The sexy actress, Mae West, once said, “Few men know how to kiss. Fortunately, I’ve always had time to teach them.” This is an important consideration, as many of us are missing out on some great relationships because we don’t give someone a second chance when they are a bad kisser. But there are ways to make a bad kisser a better kisser! You can teach them.
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How to be a Better Kisser
Kissing is usually best when it is spontaneous (you don’t have to ask). However, you also have to pay attention to the signs they are giving off, so you don’t end up overstepping your bounds. No matter how good a kisser you are, anticipation is always to your advantage. This is because when a partner is turned on, they will be less likely to notice excess saliva, poor technique or lack of rhythm. So, take your time before getting to the more advanced techniques (French kiss, biting, etc.). Also, remember to switch your techniques often. If something you are doing is not a turn on, try something new!
If you run into a situation where you really like someone, yet they are ruining the moment with a bad kiss, you may be able to salvage things by gently cradling their head, and guiding them. Take control of the action, and gently tell or show them what to do.
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In general, practice makes “more” perfect when it comes to kissing. Just keep in mind that one person’s “true-love kiss” can make someone else gag. Maintain a moderate pace and technique for the first couple minutes to get a sense of what your partner likes. And please, don’t forget about your hands. The best kind of kiss usually involves the entire body. Just remember to use anticipation to guide your hand motion, which means keeping your actions PG-13, at least until an overwhelming surge of hormones tells you otherwise.