According to Ivy

My favorite color is pink. All my clothes are pink, except my yoga pants. They’re black. My nails are pink. After my divorce, I even colored my hair pink. Jeffree Starr had nothing to worry about. Pink is pretty. I like pretty. Everyone likes pretty, right?

So what happens when the person you love isn’t, well so pretty? Most of us get out our rose colored glasses. Sometimes we didn’t even know we had rose colored glasses. I think they issue them in kindergarten. People aren’t always pretty but they’ll look a whole lot better pinker. Pink is pretty. Choices, karma … not so much. Why? Why get out the glasses? Need? Pity? Compassion?

Somewhere inside us we need to believe that people are basically good. That if you truly knew what you were doing to me, doing to my spirit you would stop. I mean, what kind of person willfully destroys another person? Surely not the person that they love. Not the person created in the image of the Divine. Surely they must be unaware? Right? Please say right.

I understand. You didn’t bond with your mother. You bonded too much with your mother. She didn’t breastfeed you. Your older brother, sister, cousin picked on you. As a child you were too short, tall, thin, fat. You had glasses. You had braces. You shouldn’t have had braces. Your mother cut your hair. Your mother didn’t cut your hair. Your parents didn’t divorce. Your parents should have divorced. You poor little thing. Need a hug?

Every person has their process. After all I want the Divine to cut me some slack when I need it. Like attracts like. Sometimes certain lessons are harder than others. I get it. You just need to finish your healing process. Then it will be my turn. Then we will be ok. I forgive you. I honor that your childhood, high school, adulthood and that brief stay in jail that changed you. But I will help you to heal. People who love each other help each other. Then you will stop blaming everyone for your choices. You’ll stop blaming me. I honor you. I’ll be right over here patiently waiting for my turn. Wow. You’re taking extra, extra long. That’s fine. Patience is a virtue.

So why the glasses? Is it door #1, need? Is it door #2, pity? Or maybe it is door #3, compassion? Or maybe we should cut our losses and call it a day. Just take off the stupid things. After all, not everyone can wear pink.

6 thoughts on “According to Ivy

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  4. Althea 9582

    I concur; Ivy’s delivery is right on time. Witty goes a long way with me. Make me think and make me smile and you’re in!
    *Jen~ Thanks much. I adore your pic… peeking mischievously~ quite a deep read behind those chocolate tresses!

  5. Althea 9582

    Thanks Ivy for raising this topic. I thoroughly enjoyed your article!
    I find the beauty in the realness of a person. The authentic flaws and imperfections sometimes lure me in. Don’t get me wrong…I love pretty; but most of the important people in my life were not overtly pretty when we met. Not in the “I’ve got it all together,” way.
    Pretty to me is a person in progress. Momentum in a positive direction is inspiring even if the destination of desire is miles away. I aspire to attain clarity and learn my lessons in tandem with those the world may view as tarnished. A little Calgon and some elbow grease with a side of positive feedback- and most will eventually shine up…Even if they are at present, flawed in their presentation. Or like I sometimes say when I’m blue or burned out: “Please be aware that I am not my best representative at this time…stay tuned for updates and improvements!”
    I try to be compassionate, but usually, tactfully-I call it as I see it. I’m with you, remove those rose colored glasses. Address reality and check the excuses at the door. I’m all about: “Sorry for your predicament, I can commiserate in your misery and help you to purge…then let’s work on fixin’it!”


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