A Sure Thing in Love?

After enough failed relationships to make even Carrie Bradshaw blush, I finally found the man of my dreams. He had everything to win my jaded heart over: he was sweet, kind, caring and patient and even thought my neuroticism was cute. And the sex, my god the sex! I thought to myself: “This is it! This is what we’ve been waiting for!” But, despite my longings for easy, carefree love, that remaining jaded part of my mind just couldn’t resist drumming up previous disappointment.

Was it too good to be true? Was Mr. Right really Mr. Wrong in disguise? We’ve all been there: after years of heartbreak stumbling into that perfect relationship seems dream-like. Meanwhile, you’re left wondering when you’ll wake up and find your lover for the monster they really are. It’s natural: defense is the strongest protection from another bout with disappointment. For me, the idea of a good relationship only intensified the worry that I would be let down yet again.

As soon as I let this shred of doubt in, my happy fantasies of a simple yet elegant wedding was missing its key component: the groom. Everything else, from the location right down to the floral arrangements for the reception remained perfectly clear. He, on the other hand, was not. It was the first wave of my Paranoia Prima: my perfect lover was no longer as perfect as I imagined.

Doubt’s flood gates opened. I suddenly found myself checking his phone when he stepped out, determined to find evidence of his infidelity. I began noticing that he was much nicer to women I thought prettier and thinner than I. Even the most gentlemanly of gestures became suspect.

Then, the dreams began. I was plagued by nightly visions of him leaving me for another woman, and in every one, he was stoic and uncaring. I found myself waking in tears, convinced that these were portents of our relationship’s certain doom.

On my way home from poker night with the girls, I caught my reflection. That woman was not me — I could not have gone that far. The sad truth was, I had. Two months of fighting and 10 pounds of worry-weight had silenced the sassy diva I once was. I became the monster I feverishly sought out in him.

Many will tell you that love is a losing game, and to a degree it’s true. Relationships, no matter how great, are a gamble with each side risking just as much as the other. But, when faced with gambling what I hold most dear, I placed all bets on a sure thing: myself. I would never disappoint myself, never cheat myself, and never leave myself. And, if I had to bet my happiness on anything, it was going to be something I would never lose sight of again. I cannot promise that this revival of self will save your relationship with your lover. But, I can say with total confidence that it will save the most important relationship you will ever have: the relationship with yourself.

11 thoughts on “A Sure Thing in Love?

  1. JAD Anslow

    how very true!this article is just what i needed thanx calif. psychics.Often when a highly intuitive person is in a situation it is too personal to be seen for what it is.So getting advice from another psychic is just the ticket. loving ones self is always best!Yoda444

  2. Larry

    Great artical .
    Been there and done that
    And now taking time out
    It builds a stronger you.
    And you bonce back quicker.
    And as time gose on you are able to read people .
    and those type of people if you keep a open mined
    You learn what you want and what you do not want.
    Better to want what you do not have as to have what you do not want,

  3. Mileena

    This i am not sure yet if this article helped me or not, i am going through relationship problems right now, but i still loved this article. =)

  4. aitch.mel

    You have said exactly what i am going through and for those out there in that same position, you will come out the other end stronger and more confident that will enable you to think and decide things with clarity, giving you confidence in decision making for YOU.
    I am in a relationship but have decided to live and work abroad for a year for ME…. before i would have stayed and waited to see if the relationship worked and keep making the same mistakes, because i didn’t and couldn’t value and love myself.
    Mel (UK)

  5. Malissa M. White

    @ Duckie
    Words of wisdom! You’re right: sometimes the best laid plans don’t always work out. But, never fret! It could be the set up one needs for something better. Change is the essence of growth for ourselves and our relationships. Without it, we remain stagnant.
    Have a safe and happy holiday!

  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Duckie !!!!!!
    Great words of wisdom !!!!
    If I’m not back in here until after, Jan 1st….
    Hope you and your loved ones all have a HAPPY, HAPPY Thanksgiving !!!!
    Blessed Be )O(…Gina Rose ext.9500

  7. The Lovely Duckling

    Thanks for posting this, Jen!
    I have found the only sure thing in love to be that if you love then you will be loved. It is so true about loving oneself!
    Sometimes the people we love don’t stay with us, but the love we give away will come back to us. It is painful to not have things always go the way we might want, but change brings new love, new possibilities and growth.
    Duckie 🙂


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