When we are completely ourselves in friendships and love relationships, we feel good in them – therefore, we are loving ourselves, rather than forcing feelings that simply aren’t there. This is loving to others, because what they see in us is truly what they get. There will be no surprise when our true colors show, because our true colors have always shone through.
We honor the intelligence of others by giving them an opportunity to make an informed decision about whether we resonate with them. The more authentic we are in our relationships, the more authenticity we will draw into our life. When we are authentic, our presence magically liberates others to be authentic as well. With some time and practice, the games and drama fall away.
Your path to authentic joy
You can start identifying your joy and any barriers – real or perceived – with a notebook. Ask yourself some questions such as: “If I didn’t consider the opinions of others, what would I be doing right now that would bring me joy?”
Once you see a path to joy, you will find ways around the barriers you have erected. You may find that a lot of barriers are simply fears within you. List your fears in your notebook, and evaluate them. Take a realistic look at your barriers in a practical, fact-finding way rather than taking an emotional tack.
Here are some suggestions to keep in mind:
1. Give yourself permission to change your mind.
2. Give yourself permission to not know every single answer about yourself.
3. Be a friend to yourself, just as you are to others.
4. Avoid the word “should” when it comes to your feelings and preferences.
5. Avoid judging yourself.
6. Avoid defining yourself based on what you do for a living.
7. Above all, keep a sense of humor. The human condition can be utterly hysterical!
Have fun exploring! If you run into some frustration or fear, just remember that your joy is right around the corner…You are worth it!
* Read more from Brendalynn! How to Live Authentically
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