Hey there, Ms. Independent. You’ve probably been looking for that special guy–someone who finds your do-it-yourself attitude unique, exciting and—dare I say—sexy. But are you having much luck finding Mr. Right? It’s possible you’re just not picking the right guys to date. Maybe you’re not looking in the right places, or maybe you’re next level independence is a bit intimidating to the men you’re meeting. Give this some serious thought: is your independence attracting or repelling the opposite sex?
Is your independence attracting the opposite sex?
- It’s all in the vibe you give off, the way you present yourself in an approachable manner. Body language says it all.
- You’re confident. You have an air of assuredness about you, but it’s not snooty. You’re confidence allows you to be friendly and open to others.
- You’ve got style. You’re obviously comfortable in your own skin, but you’re also accessible to others, and it blends so well with your confidence.
- You’re capable. You have most everything you desire in life and you don’t have to depend on anyone else for your material or emotional needs, but you’re open to expanding your life to another and sharing what you both have to offer.
Or is your independence repelling the opposite sex?
- It’s all about how much you let someone get close to you through allowing for vulnerability.
- You’re so independent that it’s difficult for anyone to see where they can fit in your world. If this is the case, eventually they’ll stop trying. Try not to be so busy that you don’t have time for even a date.
- You’re I-can-do-it attitude may be appealing to some, but if you never accept help or even ask for help (even if you don’t truly need it), you’re repelling the opposite sex. Someone looking to connect with you would like to do things either for you or with you.
- Some of us become independent by necessity rather than choice, and a bit of resentment could be attached to having to go it all alone in life. If this is the case, then you may exude a vibe of discomfort when anyone attempts to help you now–especially the opposite sex. Keep this in mind when exploring your next prospective connection. Your history is not their fault; allow them the chance to see where they might be able to fit into your life.
The whole game–and it is most definitely a game–of attracting, dating and engaging with the opposite sex can be complicated and sometimes counterintuitive. As girls and women, we’re taught that being independent is not only our right, but our obligation as we develop ourselves into fully capable people in the world. We’re also taught that our self-sufficiency is sexy to the opposite sex. Being independent shows that we’re intelligent beings who don’t depend on another for “completion.” But, it is possible to be too independent.
Promoting one’s self-sufficiency and independence can certainly be taken too far, too, creating a bubble of protection around you that prevents others from coming in. We all need a little help, no matter how capable we ultimately are. Yes, we’re all individuals, but many of us are seeking a caring partner. So when looking for someone special to enter your life, allow them the chance to hold space in a way that welcomes partnership. Your future man will most definitely thank you for it.