Every woman during her dating years will experience rejection. So don’tfeel like you’re the only one wondering about what’s up with that guy you fancy. If you’re feeling confused and worked up, it’s better you move on. Believe me, you’ll soonfind that one who will show you that he cares and wants to have afuture with you. In our quest to find the perfect partner, we are bound to meet many impostors along the way. Identifying these false potential mates and their telltale signs is just as valuable as acknowledging when we are responsible for these romantic failures. Examine your behavior first, and then alter accordingly …
1. You are needy and/or obsessive
It’s simply not attractive or healthy to compulsively cling to the person we’re dating. Being independent, with a strong sense of self, and a healthy lifestyle replete with friends, career goals and stimulating activities, is the best way to attract men and keep them interested. Often, women can become obsessed with their guy, which leads to possessiveness and jealousy. No one wants to date a head case. When we have sufficient self-esteem and a balanced lifestyle, we are not as susceptible to these negative feelings and behaviors which only push our partner away.
2. You are too high maintenance
Face it ladies, many of us can be considered high maintenance, especially in a man’s eyes since they tend to oversimplify things. Are we whiny if we don’t get our way with everyday events, such as dinner reservations, movie choices, the temperature in the car or room, etc.? While compromise is crucial, if we are constantly nagging our man to change something, it can be exhausting and annoying. Are you always asking for expensive gifts and trips which you expect your partner to provide? Women are, as a whole, more complex than men, and therefore may be more particular about certain things, but we need to recognize how we come off, and how much we nag to get our way. Otherwise, our mate will see a high-maintenance girlfriend who is never satisfied and costs him a lot of money.
3. You are manipulative and controlling
In the dating game, women often make manipulation an art form. Most of us simply want our man to care for and be attracted to us, but trying to manipulate or control his actions or feelings will only backfire in a major way. Likewise, we undermine our own worth when we resort to manipulation because we are, in effect, saying that we’re not good enough to keep our man without these machinations. Playing mind games such as withholding sex to gain more power in the relationship, or flirting with other men to make our guy jealous and prove his “love” to us may get the initial result we desire, but at what price? Most men will only put up with this behavior for so long before their resentment towards us ends with him walking away.
4. You’ve changed
We are all on our best game when we are trying to attract a mate. We will dress more provocatively, try to impress, perhaps, with things like lavishly cooked meals, or spontaneity and adventure in the bedroom. We all do this a little in the beginning of a romantic relationship, but some of us create a counterfeit persona to more easily snag a prized mate. Unfortunately, if after we’ve committed to the person, we completely alter our behavior, then we are guilty of false advertising. All relationships require work, and that includes keeping the respect and willingness to want to please our partner.
5. Your friends or family are too much
What we often fail to realize is that when we invite a partner into our life, we are also subjecting them to all of our other relationships. Quirky family members or friends can be a source of humor between mates, but the dysfunctional, destructive, or rude behaviors of the people we bring into our partner’s life can be extremely destructive to our relationships. We need to be particularly wary of fostering unhealthy patterns with these people which either hurts our partners or causes them to lose respect for us.
6. Incompatible differences
An obvious reason why people either do or do not interconnect successfully is compatibility. In the beginning of a relationship, we can easily get caught up in the newness and excitement of it all. But after both partners become more comfortable, their true colors are glaringly obvious, and they sometimes do not mesh well with each other. Differences such as how tidy a person is, their sleep habits, and personal pet peeves all factor into how compatible two people are for the long haul.