6 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Soulmates

 Soulmate Relationship Lies: What We Want to Believe

What is a soulmate? What does a soulmate relationship look and feel like? A soulmate is someone who is supportive, loving, trusting and doesn’t feel threatened by other relationships in your life. We can’t create soulmate relationships—they just are. The connection is undeniable and it has that “meant-to-be” feeling.

Not Your Soulmate, but Close

Sometimes, rather than admit that a connection isn’t all we hoped it would be, we tell ourselves lies about our “soulmates,” hoping we can make the relationship work or that it will become a soulmate connection, rather than facing the alternative of being alone and in search of love again.

Here are six common lies we tell ourselves about soulmates:

Lie 1: I Will Never Fight or Disagree with My Soulmate

Soulmate relationships aren’t always problem-free, but if you’re with the right person, then problems are like minor storms that you weather together. In a soulmate relationship, each person takes responsibility for the state of the relationship and works on making it better. In the end, it’s understood that you are stronger together than apart.

Like 2: My Soulmate Would be More Supportive of My Choices if They Weren’t so Busy

When we’re with someone who we think is our soulmate we often find it easier to make excuses for them and tell ourselves and others lies rather than face facts. If your “soulmate” doesn’t give you unconditional support, then they’re not your soulmate.

Find out if they’re your soulmate or just playing you. Psychic Venus ext. 9463 has the answer. 

Lie 3: If You and Your Soulmate Have Problems, it’s Your Fault

Unless you’re going for the “Martyr of the Year” award, you can’t be the only one responsible for problems. In relationships there is always an action and a reaction and you should work problems out together.

Lie 4: Soulmates Don’t Need to Plan for the Future 

Real relationships take work—even soulmate relationships. Relationships should also be in a perpetual state of growth—even if it’s just small steps. You need to be on the same page, at least most of the time.

Lie 5: My Soulmate Completes Me

Even Jerry McGuire would have to admit that no one can complete you when you’re already a whole person by yourself. Relationships can enhance our lives, but they don’t make or break them.

Lie 6: We Can Grow to Become Each Other’s Soulmates

This is probably the most common lie people tell themselves and it is often the most hurtful to everyone involved in a relationship.

When will you meet your soulmate? Psychic Phoebe ext. 5231 has the answer.

Sometimes our search for a soulmate can land us in the wrong relationship. We may want that connection so badly that we find someone who comes close, and try to change them, or worse, we mold ourselves into someone we’re not. When we tell ourselves lies about soulmates, we’re not fooling anyone, especially ourselves. You deserve a real soulmate relationship, so go out there and find it!

50 thoughts on “6 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Soulmates

  1. dorothy

    I donot know I felt I meet my soul mate in 77; yet after istopped datting in 83 I was kind wandering around not loking. yet I had a love for a guy in jr high

  2. Bella

    This is 4 icyangelz : I read UR other posting I do hear ya , Y bade a valid point … like with then yes it is possible yea it is of my own beliefs that yes this happens more often than what most folks would care – or want 2 admit 2 .. yea – this is very possible “” 2 be N UR shoes “” I also DO think some folks are N DENIAL IF THEY don’t see this so they might pretend not SEE ALL the RED FLAGS WAVING when IF this does happen however 4 some reason THEY CHOOSE TO IGNORE THEM (warning signs ) !?! FYI I think U answered all of UR own questions N your own ( Q&A ) are U a debater lol good job UR ahead OF IT , sounds like U have been giving this a LOT of thought 2 it & 4 sometime … Plz be blessed & have Happy holidays seasons 2 you & 4 yours !!!

  3. LJ

    Dear Anna: We can’t change others we can only change ourselves. Not saying that you should change, just maybe change the people you’re dating. Move on and find happiness and don’t put up with bad behavior. You deserve better.

  4. LJ

    Dear SmartAlex77 – I have to agree with the other comments. You should never give up on love – but then again they do say that when you least expect it … it finds you. You can’t hide from love and it will find YOU. We go through crap sometimes so we can recognize the good stuff. 🙂
    Best of Luck

  5. LJ

    Good Point Tina! Okay add it to the list – I bet the list could go on and on … we lie to ourselves all the time. What’s that all about? LOL

  6. Maria

    What I thought was my soulmate, left me to marry someone else 2000 miles away. I’d been with this person for 13 yrs. we had allot of ups and downs but when we connect it was stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced. And then one day he just vacated the relationship? I should know why, but I didn’t and still after 17yrs I still don’t understand. I’ve just moved on through life without really any life changes and then all of a sudden I get hit with floods of memories of him, some good and bad. I cry outwardly and inward of what my life should have been with him, it hurts and I just want to rid this pain and go back a month ago where this didn’t have a hold on me. I hope this isn’t what’s it for me in regards to love. It just seems so unfair.

  7. icyangelz

    Is it possible to ne someone else’s soul mate and them not yours.LOL, or does having the qualities and feeling that you could be, just make you a fool in love? At one point I even told my ex that I felt we were soulmates, but his actions, thereafter, showed ne that he definately wasn’t ever thinking the same about me. Is it possible to be and not realize it until later or is that just another case of past tine regrets??

  8. Joanna

    To SmartAlex77,

    Please don’t give up looking for your soulmate. I feel that she is very near and searching for you. She will be totally devoted to you and will be loving and faithful.

    Love and best wishes,


  9. Joanna

    To SmartAlex77,

    Please don’t give up looking for your soulmate. I feel she is searching for you now. She will be completely loving and devoted to you and she will be forever faithful to you.


  10. LJ

    Michael: My heart hurts just reading your comment. What I can say in this short venue is that I am deeply sorry that you suffer so much. I think you should have an enlightening numerology or astrological reading – you may be on a path you haven’t quite grasped, or you may just be on the path you chose long before you came here. Looking into these things gives us all better understanding of our purpose, the meaning of our lives and how we can best work with what we’re given. As a friend, I would tell you to simply fully live within the moment and enjoy each and every little thing that makes you smile – then invite more of it into your world. Don’t spend your life in regret or disappointment or longing for something that was – it just robs your energy and your health (as you are witnessing). Try to create your world in the best light possible and invite more of that love and goodness into your heart each day until it builds into true happiness. If you try just a little, than the Universe will respond – just say you’d like to be happy and not worry about how it will come about – just trust that it will. All the best to you Michael.

  11. LJ

    Dear Readers: I find your comments most interesting and I appreciate your comments and also the way you share you most personal feelings. I wish I could reply to each and every comment individually, but I want you to know that I do read and appreciate every single one. Thank you.

  12. LJ

    Dear Spencer- the reason I don’t mention at what age you (or anyone) will find their soulmate is because it can/will happen when the time is right – that’s the only time limit you can put on love and soulmates. Gosh, I hope it’s not too late – EVER. LOL Thanks for your comments.

  13. Pingback: 6 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Soulmates | Articles, Advice and More

  14. linda

    my Frist marryage of 33 yr, was a joke, complete of jelueyand no treast at all.’we dv. 1989, and it took me 12 yr, to find my man,we now do ervery thing together,

  15. Mitzi

    I have to say that I really agree with this post. I spent the last 20 years trying to convince myself that I had found my soulmate. It is amazing what a person can come to expect as normal and justifiable. I lived a hell that I would wish on no one. I was scared to be alone. I allowed this in my life and accepted this for my kids, so they would be able to know dad. I truly believed that my hell was normal. Those seconds that he was happy, I though made up for the hours,months, years that he was not.
    I finally came to understand the depth of what I was allowing. The destruction of my SELF.
    I finally left, I swore that no man was ever going to come into my life again. I believed and did all the things in this article. I truly believe in the law of attraction, because I got what I asked for. I spent two years learning about myself. Learning that it was ok to say no, learning what I liked, and to love myself. I think this was the most liberating time in my life.
    I spent two years alone. I started to believe in myself in a way that I never believed I could.
    Now onto the soulmate issue. Be careful what you ask for, lest you get it. I had come to a place where I started to wonder, is it possible to have everything I knew I deserved? I wrote a letter to God and my angels one night. I listed every single quality that I knew was a must, attributes that would be a bonus, and all my desires. I put nothing in about qualities that I didn’t want, lest I manifest them. (You get what you ask for). I put that letter in a special box, my God box, and a quickly forgot about it.
    About two months later I met the man I truly believe to be my soulmate. Here’s the kicker, he had every single quality and attribute that I had listed. We have a connection that I never thought possible. I am truly blessed in my life. Thanks to God and my angels for allowing me this!

    One more thing I would like to say…
    No matter where you are in life, abuse is never ok! There is a way to get help. Please reach out to someone, people can be amazing and will be. You are not alone.
    Another thing, I truly believe we get what we ask for. Be it good or bad it comes to us. Find one positive thing to repeat to yourself when you find yourself pondering the junk! Believe it or don’t, but it will start to make a difference.

    Thank you for reading and good luck in your search!

  16. James

    You guys take the cake! And you call your selves psychic’s? I just spent the better part of an hour sharing my thoughts, and I sank beneath your wisdom like a stone. And because I decided to copy it to my journal, You have the nerve to say that the duplicate detected suggest’s I’ve said it before? Very judgmental. And your wrong as well so when do you get off?

  17. James

    My soul is the home in which my spirit dwells, I’m searching for someone with a restless spirit like mine, but I have grown accustomed to living alone. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy good company, but there’s only enough room in my soul for one spirit. Soul Mates don’t just walk into your life, It takes years and years to realize who they are , sometimes. You can feel it… kindred spirits, Mutual respect, admiration, sincere and deep concern are pretty good indicators, but when you start playing house, familiarity breed’s contempt, and it isn’t 50/50 , you gotta take that bull by the horns, and make it like, 80/20, most of the time, and that doesn’t leave much time to get smart. I have soul mates (notice that’s two words?) that aren’t even aware of the fact. Your better off by yourself, and alone, than with someone who makes you feel alone. Don’t rush, Fool’s rush in where angel’s fear to tread (the words of a great profit who’s name slips my mind at the moment) Seek truth, find it! Understand it, Learn it! Share it! If someone just walked up to you and gave it to you, you wouldn’t know what it was, for certain…especially in these day’s and times. I’m sixty years old, married twice, and people ask “Jim, how’s your family? I smile and say” My beautiful daughters are all married off, and happy, and so are my ex-wives, I Am a lucky man to have shared their lives! Single since 1997, but hope spring’s eternal! Good luck to you all!

  18. Mitzi

    I have spent the last 20 years trying to create my soul mate within the relationships I’ve had. It lead to abuse that I would never wish on anyone. After a long hard look at myself and figuring out that I’d completely given myself up to make everyone else happy, I started over. I spent two years learning about myself and giving myself permission to like or dislike things, learning that it was ok to say no and not feel guil ty or ashamed. I started to believe in myself for the first time in my life. I felt free finally. Now in that time I swore off men, absolutely certain that I would never find someone that would give me all the things that I had come to believe that I deserved. The law of attraction was working! No one pushed my boundaries. I finally came to a place where I started thinking what if I could pick all the qualities that I wanted in a man? I wrote a letter that night to God and my Angels. I wrote down every quality that I wanted in a partner, every desire, every need, want, belief that I wanted. I wrote down every thing that I could think of. I finished the letter and put it in a special box, my God box, and forgot about it. About six months later I met my soulmate. No kidding here, he had every single quality that I had listed!
    I truly believe in the law of attraction. Be careful what you ask for, lest you get it. I was very careful when writing out my list, I did not put anything on there that I did not want. I listed only my wants. Just a tip, if you forever tell yourself that you’ll never find someone, you’ll get what you ask for.

    Good luck to you. Keep the faith in all you do.

  19. Rose

    This was some good reading. I am still waiting even though I were told by psychics over 15 years now I would find my soulmate and no luck yet and getting older. 61y/o never married, sometimes I wonder. So I just stop getting reading because I have not had any luck in meeting a good man. I just take care and make me happy to live each day .

  20. admartin

    to Carol: Until you learn to love yourself and be honest with yourself you will continue to cheat. You are not cheating on your husband, you are cheating on your self because you feel you don’t deserve to be loved you sabatoge any chance for your happiness..

  21. suzanne

    My first marriage was awful so got a divorce, 3 years later me an my soulmate found each other, everything was just like it said it should be for soulmates, we were together for 13 years then my soulmate died tragically, will I ever have another soulmate, or do you only get one in this life, I’m 53 and I have been a lonely widow for 7 years now.

  22. C-c

    I did find mine but then I lost him over a misunderstanding. I would love to have him back but I don’t know if hed want my son as well plus I am in a complicated relationship with my sons father. Help!

  23. Nelida

    I still haven’t found the love of my life i believe God will find me someone in my church who has my same believes i am morman and i believe strongly in what my lord Jesus wants for me he will connect my soulmate i do believe this in my heart because that person knows and believe in what i do Jesus will connect us when he is ready.

  24. Bella

    Once again I do agree with ALL of thee above lol lol … Amen 2 #5) ” a soulmate does NOT need 2 complete you “” no they don’t that is the furtherest thing from the truth in my mind I couldn’t see it / get it @ 1st .. NO they don’t NEED 2 complete you that’s the 1 my Capricorn butt kept on getting ALL wrong by thinking this way lol … It is of my beliefs that this is the 1 a lot of folks can’t / don’t get … It’s been the hardest 1 4 me 2 GET, 2 be honest but my since my hard headed capricorn head finally got it lol I have not looked back … It was hard lessons though @ 1st trying 2 figure out what wasn’t working 4 me – making the changes but It was worth the hard long good look @/ myself in the mirror, so I did in / dug deep then I made the MUST changes … With me I let the love my life 4 over 31/2 years go + my Leo bffs 4 over a 34 years it’s very supportive LOVING / friendship go , who I thought @ sometimes the “”LEO “” was my soulmate lol but NO he isn’t, we’re good now so yes now it’s been hard I without the both of them & OMG … yes it took a while B4 I started seeing progress I held on 2 be honestly it’s been a/ 1 1/2 years battle only now I’m truly happy with myself … Yes now I found myself / voice I am a much happier person so when my soulmate does come into my life ( he’a gonna need 2 FIND me) yes I will be ready 4 them 🙂 🙂 … I can’t wait until the day I can post on this website look folks there is a true soulmate 4 me / 4 everyone & uh huh yes I finally found them/ HIM / that I am getting married finally lol lol .. ms Quinn says it’s gonna go happen really fast 2 lol 🙂 … YEA y’all have been really rocking it lately California psychics once again this year / 4 a while it’s has been all about transformation if 1s has been paying attention… With Ms Quinn’s guidance (even though I was hearing her but I wasn’t / AS in not LISTENING 2 her @ sometimes) rather IF it’s been good or bad news I did take ms Quinn 411 2 heart so good job with the both of y’all i would say your 411 has been very mostly dead on & yes very helpful 2 me with helping me 2 dig deep, warmest wishes 4 / 2 all / happy holidays 2 all … I can’t wait until january 1st 2014 it’s gonna be a great year I know it is !!!! Oh yes I 4 got that it’s my birthday #”47″ 2 … Thank you 🙂

  25. Chrissi

    Michael I was 17 when I found my soulmate but far too young and immature to even realise it – I wanted to do things he didn’t and go places which he thought I shouldn’t need to and found people who would take me obviously he didn’t like it and even though there was never anything physical going on between me and them they were happy if people thought there had been we split a few times but always came back together but eventually his family found him a wife and married him off- had I not been so immature and stupid maybe he might have resisted them and stayed with me he died a few years ago and a mutual friend told me he never stopped loving me and, if I was honest even though I’m married to a parentally approved guy now with a son I’ve never stopped loving him but my husband is a good man who definitely loves me and although I don’t feel the deep love for him that I had for my soulmate no way would I ever hurt him so there is most definitely hope for you

  26. Cindy

    I believe I have a soulmate. From the first time I ever saw him I knew something was different. We both worked (he as a student and I as a nurse on that floor) in a hospital at the same time. I had been dating someone else but the attraction between this man and I was very evident and we started dating. As it turned out my relationship with him only lasted about 7 or 8 months but I never forgot him. To make a long story short I fell in love with him but we were not to be at that time. That breakup just was very hard for me and I got so depressed. On the bright side, we have been in touch and in time…I’d love to see him.

  27. HELEN


  28. Gina Rose xt.9500

    Honest article, insightful and well written, LJ!!!

    However, sadly , there ALOT of ” new age ” nonsense floating around out there these days that people are too willing to buy into the idea that ” soul mate ” means happily ever after and total bliss, as in the fairy tale.

  29. Gina Rose ext.900

    Very insightful , and honest, article.

    Well done, LJ !!!

    But sadly, there is so much ” new age ” nonsense floating around out there now,.. that way too many
    people are willing to believe that a ” soul mate ” leads to the fairy tale of never ending happiness and bliss. “

  30. Debra

    I have called and the feedback I got was so off. I have been single for 5 years. I am ready and the last psychic said I would find my soulmate last year. Hmmm I am on a online dating site… I stay active… how come I have not met him?

  31. babygirl K

    do i walk away from him for cheating and catching him with another woman 12 1/2 years of my life it’s been diffrent woman some of them he goes back to but still wanna hold on to me i love this man but im tired of his lies and playing with my heart now he don’t wanna have nothing to do with me sometimes we get together then he flips on me like he hates me what should i do just let go and move on with my life or see if he’s gone try to work it out,my heart says let go and move on because i deserve better. so please give me a honest answer what should i do stay or walk away for ever.

  32. Michael

    It has been over thirty (30) years since I met and married the person who I thought was m soulmate. We we inseperable for 4 years before we got married. Once we got married things stared out real well. We both worked hard to upgrade the one bedroom apartment we started in and ended up after ther first year in a two bedroom apartment that was perfect for the two of us. We were close to all of our friends and our parents to. Her parents were very clingy and would always have us over for dinner at least on night a weel or on the weekend. We ended up looking at houses one weekend and after looking we were trying to figure out a way to buy one. The problem was we did not have near the money for the down payment saved up. She finally suggested that we ask her parents to borrow it and pay them back by giving them our income tax return refund each year. I was very hesitant to do this and deep in my heart, I knew we could not afford it. I had one problem though and that was saying no to her about anything she wanted. We got the money from her parents, bought the house and two years later we were divorced. She would not even give me a reason for the divorce. I was a paramedic in addition to working for one of the largest power companies in the southeast. I was going to college when I felt like it which she did not like, to her gettin that degree as soon as possible was the most important thing to do. I was hesitant about going to college because since my job with the power company involved working with computers, it was almost decided for me that I was going to major in Computer Manaegement in college. I hated computers, I was more of a people person and having been a paramedic, I wanted to go in to the medical field. I really wanted to be a PA (Physicians Assistant). I did not feel I had that option without dissapointing my new wife and both her and my family. To try to make a long story short what finally ended up happening was that my wife also worked for the Power Company and so did her father. I felt trapped, but would have sacrificed my goal to stay in the medical field if it made everyone happy. My new wife fell in to a click of single women at work, we had been invited to a couple of parties they threw and I really felt out of place. They were all really stuck-up, from rich families and kind of shuned me from the begining. Finances were getting very tight and we had not been able to keep our shcedule of paying her mother and father back, the interest on the mortgatge was not enough to get us a tax refund, instead we found ourselves paying. I knew this was getting to be a great concern for my wife; therefore, I decided to start picking up some part-time work on the weekends as a paramedic. The first night I was scheduled to work, my wife tells me that she has been invited to a girls party with her stuck up single friends the same night. In my head and my heart I wanted to ask her to consider not going, but I had made a pledge to myself before we got married that I would never be the kind of jealous untrusting husband that would try to control the marriage or her activities. I worked that night and she gave me the phone number where I could reach her. I went to work, she went to her party. I tried to call her several times, but each time I called the person who answered the phone would tell me they did not know where she was. This worried me all night long and I did not get any sleep at all. She picked me up the next morning looking like she just got out of bed. She had always in the past tried to look her best. We started home and there was very little conversation. We got home and I asked her if she had a good time and she really did not give me a direct answer. She did not even ask me how my night was. I finally told her that I had called several times that night but no one seemed to know where she was at. I hit a nerve and she got extremely angry and said that maybe she should move in with her parents for a while and stared packing her car. I tried to get her to stop and talk about it, but she would not. She finally got her car loaded and left. I tried to call her at her parents house and her mother and father would not let me talk to her. I was very upset, I couldl not quit crying and wondering what I had done. Shw finally called me the next day from work, I had stayed home that day and said she would come by about 7pm to discuss things. She came by at seven pm and I was still very upset. I let her start the conversation off and she told me that she wanted a divorce, wanted to sell the house to pay back her parents, but she never really gave me a reason for wanting a divorce. This was my deepest love and my soulmate, I almost had a nervous breakdown in the next coming months when she carried out her plan. Then about 8 months later, she called me to tell me she was getting married. I had been trying that whole 8 months just to get her to just be friends, but she would not do that, nor, would she go out with me. Over the years I tried to get in touch with her just to say hello and at least work out some sort of firendship. She had everyone in the world covering for her and I was never sucessful in getting a chance to talk to her. I ended up about 8 years ago having to have a kidney transplant. I had re-married several years ago to a woman who had 4 small children, after 25 years we are nothing but roomates and have not had sex or any physical contact in at least ten years. I am miserable because when I had to go on Social Security Disability due to my health, I realized the only reason this woman married me was because of my money. I had during this whole time tried to track down the woman I still loved. I finally got her an e-mail and told her of my health and brought up renewing our friendship. She wrote back and told me she was sorry that I was having such a rough time health wise and that she would pray for me. That is the last time I ever heard from her. I still love this woman and late at night when everyone has gone to bed I often cry and pray that someday soon we will meet again. I beat my head against the wall because I feel like I will never meet another to love and cherish like my first wife. I feel cursed or that my life was meant to sacrifice for someone else to make their life better. Will I ever be happy again in a relationship with someone whom loves me as much as I love them or am I just a sucker for those who pretend to love me.

    Best regards,

  33. SmartAlex77

    I’m sorry but I no longer believe in soulmates. Every girl I’ve been with has either cheated on me or dumped me. There’s no one out there for me.

  34. Fee

    Soul mates are in common you just have too get what you pick in life an don’t throw a fit or stay single and be done with it all

  35. Carol

    I have chected are whole married life. He found out,i can see the change in him. Do you think we should go are sppert ways, so he can live peacefulley. He really is a great guy. He was so trusting, and i f–k up !!!


    My comment is there is selfish college degree liars,that when they get caught up they dont take ownership.Then they got nerve to call u crazy.It takes both to make it .No use waitn for a change if they dont want to change


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *