Quality, Not Quantity
When it comes to picking someone who’s perfect for you, you should be the person who’s most qualified to make that decision. But when you ignore the red flags of a flawed partner, you won’t know that you deserve better. Are you dating down? Are you dating someone who isn’t worthy of your time, attention and affection? Are you dating a person who isn’t on your level? Here are five signs to look out for.
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1. You’re More Successful Than Them
Many successful women are single and they blame their singleness on their success. The truth is they date men who aren’t on their level. Successful, confident men aren’t intimidated by successful, confident women. If you keep picking men who don’t have the same drive as you, learn to pick better. There are plenty of successful men who are willing to build an empire with you.
2. You’re Afraid to Be Yourself
If you feel like you have to hide the real you, or dial it down for your partner, you’re dating down. You don’t need the added stress of living a lie, just to be in a relationship. You also don’t need to be fake to make your partner feel better about themselves and their shortcomings. If you date someone who is your equal, you get to be the real you.
3. You Have to Keep Reassuring Yourself
You’re dating down if you have to keep reassuring yourself that you’re with the right person. You may have a checklist of what you think your partner is supposed to be, and even though the person you’re with doesn’t meet some, most or all of the requirements on your checklist, you keep reassuring yourself they do. No matter how many times you tell yourself they are, they aren’t the right person for you.
4. You’d Be Better Off Alone
What would you really lose if you broke up with them? If you’re dating down, you’d actually have a lot to gain. A good relationship is about fairness—things tend to even out. But if you’re dating down you may be giving more (and they may be taking more) than they are giving to you. You’d probably save yourself a lot of time and money if you just broke up with them.
5. You’re Keeping Them a Secret
When you’re ashamed of your relationship, you don’t want the world to know that you’re in one. When you know you’re friends and family wouldn’t approve of this person (because they’re beneath you), you date them in secret. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be so secretive. The answer is, because you’re dating down.
Quantity vs. Quality
You don’t have to date down just to be in a relationship. Love is about quality, not quantity. You’re better off dating fewer, quality people than wasting your time dating people who aren’t good enough for you. You’d save yourself a lot of time, money and heartache if you learned to date people who are on your level.