30 Steps to Overcome Heartbreak

Heartbreak is a difficult thing to overcome, but with these 30 ideas the path to getting over your ex and recovering is much easier.

Letting Go One Step at a Time

Falling out of love is hard to anticipate. No one looks forward to emotions being made to stop, disappear, or wait. It can be difficult to let go when a heart yearns for its mate. However, it’s best to get over and beyond the painful hurt and emotional ache before it becomes too much to withstand or take. A broken heart heals when the mind becomes free.

Here are thirty steps which can help lead to recovery and the wisdom of self-discovery.

1. Make the decision to be strong if you or a mate feels the love is wrong and determines it is best to move on.

2. Accept and appreciate your worth as you are deserving of more than hurt.

3. Focus on your own happiness and peace of mind while understanding the pain of heartbreak will give way to time.

4. Keep yourself busy and productive without being impulsive.

5. Go out on a date! Do not allow heartache to make you wait.

6. Lean on your family and friends until the longing ends.

7. Remove from your sight and mind everything your ex-lover has left behind.

8. Find a means of relaxation to lessen the frustration. Make plans to take a vacation in a peaceful location.

9. Don’t call, text, or email the person who has hurt you. Avoid all contact until you are with someone new.

10. Do not make plans or attempt to reconcile after your ex has long gone and you’ve been apart for a while. Get personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

11. Gather your confidence, use it as a form of recompense, and exercise the benefits of common sense.

12. Strongly maintain your physical appearance and emotional adherence.

13. Do not ignore the way you feel. Allow yourself time to heal. Determine your own purpose and will.

14. Take full responsibility and control of your mind, body, and soul. Find new objectives and set future goals.

15. Ignore the wishful thinking that isn’t worth believing or seeing.

16. Seek and find comfort on your own while you are alone. You’ll love again. Take the time to be your own best friend.

17. Keep your pride intact and accept the facts. Every relationship does not need to have a lasting impact.

18. Recognize that your ex wasn’t that “special” someone and refuse to allow yourself to come undone.

19. Live, eat, and sleep well. Turn the relationship into a funny story to tell.

20. Recall the things that annoyed you about your ex and remember they weren’t perfect.

21. Count your blessings and be thankful for the all that is good in your life. A break-up may have saved you from future hardship and strife.

22. Connect with your sense of spirituality and lovingly embrace your reality.

23. Do not be afraid to cry as the tears will help you to say goodbye.

24. Start each day with a plan for means to cope. Keep your spirits in good hope.

25. Believe in your ability to find true love. It is not necessary to accept anything that’s less than enough.

26. Ignore misery and find better company. Do something that doesn’t require deep thinking. Watch a movie or go out dancing.

27. Determine your relationship needs and plan on how you will succeed.

28. Give your attention to the people you love and the people who love you.

29. Do not blame yourself because a relationship did not last. Some people are meant to be part of your past.

30. Appreciate everything you’ve experienced and learned from the relationship. Even heartbreak has its role to play. It lets us know when we should let go, give up, and walk away.

Heartbreak doesn’t feel good! It’s one of the things in life that most of us would change if we could. The thirty things I’ve written here worked for me. However, I must admit that it wasn’t consistent or easy. Sometimes, I got them all right! Sometimes, I got most of them wrong when my heart refused to go along. I do hope my goofy words can become something you’ve understood and heard. If anything I’ve written can help someone out, then you’ve gotten what this article is about. We are all doing the best we can. It’s simply human.

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44 thoughts on “30 Steps to Overcome Heartbreak

  1. aryesh mishra

    I don’t want to forget her never n ever she always makes me smile I wanted​ to tell her how much I love her
    But she is engaged now
    I don’t have any idea I should I do
    I’m very stressed
    I want to overcome from this with forget her
    Because I don’t want that I blamism her for my situation in future​ I’ll always love her she was my first crush
    I never met her
    It’s very pathetic

    I never share anything to anyone even nt with my family n fren too
    I don’t know how to cry
    And it’s make me more desperate

  2. Joseph eja

    I wish i can practice all you wrote and forget everything totally. Truth is, its as if I am hunted…during day hours, I pretend to keep myself busy but night times becomes unbearable, I have not had sound sleep in months, her thought keep rushing through my mind. I would try not to call her for days but I find myself quaking at some point to hear her voice as if am suffocating and I reach for my phone. It is the worst feeling ever, when you know you cannot get back someone whom you teruely care for and worst the thoughts of her with another man. I built my life and future plans around her, we were engaged. I’ve tried a couple of date here and there, trust me it ain’t working…my heart still beat for her….she is the love of my life. I feell am losing my mind sometime. I pray to God everyday to take her thoughts away from me, I feel rejected, depressed, hurt, pained, mistreated, maltreated, manipulated, abused but still I love her afteral. I am really gong through difficult time…pls pray for me

    1. waliyda

      I feel the same way now…that pain of knowing your spouse won’t come back to you..is hell but I try to constantly tell myself that the breakup was not all my fault or doing im speaking as a female who lost her boyfriend.

  3. Sonia

    I want to thank you for your advice but I don’t think I will ever come out this. My boyfriend broke up with me when I am four months pregnant with his child. He is a mature man who was in love with the idea of family but alot of fun and alcohol won him over. He has cheated a couple of times but despite knowing all this I still Love him. I just keep hoping that he will say he is sorry and come back home. It’s soo hard hard for me. I tried dating but he is the love of my life. I still love him.

  4. mide

    Tnx agnes buh I must tell yuh that my kind of heartbreak is much more worse than anyone ccan imagine. I’ve been with him for 3 years now and he’s leaving me for someone else.I’ve done nothing wrong buh he jst wokeup one morning and felt he needed a life with someone else from the same ethnicity as him not minding how I feel. Its xo terrible I must admit.

    1. Trent smith

      I know how you feel, my girlfriend dumped me after taking a trip to her uncles house with her grandparents I gave her everything and gave up everything for her and the day after she dumps me she sees someone else after living with me for months

  5. unknown

    i just wanted to say i feel better to know that im not the only one going through this alone. Is my fist break up and it sucks but we all need to know is that there is some light at the end what of the tunnel. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. what i have found good and helpful is to write all of your feelings down and over time you will see how your feeling along this ride. also try and go on walks in the morning to clear your mind before your day is very helpful and do something you love hope all of us can get through this you are all not alone!!!!

  6. John

    How I wish this will work for me because for now I think it’s impossible for me to make it this time around.it took me 10yrs to overcome the first experience and now am 33yrs.how long will it took me this time around to come out of this one before I got married ?.but why will God allow us to meet somebody that was not ment for us in the first place? why will he let the innocent to suffer in the hand of players while they smile. girls are terrible, lies, destroyer.but how I wish my girl will cheat on me, repent and come back to me it will be easer for me, than to go final.the tips are good but for me, to try it is the problem because every seconds of my life I remember her.tears will flow like river.thanks for your effort.but still I need Gods intervention, please folks help me pray to God to help me because I can’t help myself

  7. swi

    Even I m in the same situation. I know that things won’t work out. He s engaged n will be married in a couple of months.. I try to get back of the emotional trauma but I keep falling into it again n again.. I love him like crazy… I don’t know if I can ever come out of his love…

  8. Lawrence

    Its so hard to forget whom you love, I am passing through hard time now and i dont know how i can overcome these. anyway i will try these terms to see how it works

  9. Vera

    Right now am expirencing a heartbreak, i think abt him, i hear his voice, his picture keeps coming into my mind. I can’t even concentrate on job. But i’ll try and put ur advice into practice.

  10. Irene wairimu

    U’ve really helped me. Am undergoing such a difficult tym right now. But i cant leave him coz we hav a baby together. But he dont love me.

  11. nazia begum

    thank you so much mam for these tips , i knew about these but it is hard to follow , i will do my best to follow them , bcos i can’t forgot him

    thank you

  12. unknown

    i love my ex so much, for me she is very perfect..
    my dreams was to take care of her, build a family, enjoy our life together until the end of life,
    but i was wrong. she is my everything and i was nothing for her. she left me for someone else after so many thing i have sacrifice.

  13. Ema

    Thanks for the article .. and the comments make me feel less isolated as heartbreak is universal. since he ended the relationship, just can’t get no sleep, i feel the days just passing by but i’m no more living it. everything reminds me of him and after 6 years it is so hard. feeling suffocated and so damn like a fool for still loving him. just need time to have my head and my heart agreed that it is over … but for the time being i’m suffering

  14. Galina

    A great set of rules, wise writing. Thank you Agnes!

    Nikki, you are not alone. I have the same problem – waking up at night, unable to go back to sleep, wanting to be with the guy who I know is so bad for me in most ways. We have an incredible rapport and sexual energy when we are together. However, I know that we will never be together, because he has other plans for his life, and I understand with my mind that getting to live together would be a complete disaster, since the guy is so self-absorbed, self-centered, and insecure. He is also very very tight with money. Emotionally it shows in his cowardly ways to prefer one-way relationships which he can control: comes/ rings when he wants to, visits, and gets on with his life until he gets another itch. I know that there are 2 sides in any relationship, and that people will treat us exactly the way we allow them to do so. I guess there is a lesson for me in it. Time to move on, as heartbreaking as it may be.

    I realised some time ago that continuing with this relationship makes me lose more and more of my self-respect and self-confidence. When we do not have any control over a relationship, we become puppets, toys in the hands of manipulative people who use us for their own gratification. What we are left with after they are gone is an emotional turmoil, feeling crushed, with a sense of self-loathing, feeling weak and depressed. Are a couple of hours of pleasure in the company of our object of desire worth the heavy price we pay?

    I have decided that it isn’t worth it, and that I am worth much much more than that. And so are you!



  15. donnie

    my ex cheatd on me n got pregnant for some one else after 6 years together n last year she miscarried for me…..i could never take her back its hard goin through alot of denial and asking myself what i did wrong….but at the end of the day she never loved me plain n simple im gutted totally but i will bounce back

  16. Jo

    Good points, but it’s still hard. Husband has found another woman even while we’re still working thru the divorce (not filed yet!). Trying to forget the guy whom I like is hard, we had shared very intimate moments but

  17. Nikki

    I enjoyed your points and have tried practicing them myself in my recent break-up. My problem was not that I could not go without contacting him but I began waking up every night with an intense urge and desire to be with him. During the day I assumed I kept myself too busy to miss him. I would go for up to two or three weeks without any communication but still no sleep until I call/text to hear his voice. So how do I control the subconscience when I’m asleep. Once I’m awake he totally consumes my mind and I pray for God to take the thoughts away until I fall back to sleep. But I will continue working on it.

  18. Faith ext. 9608Faith ext. 9608

    Dear Agnes, great pointers and loving guidance here on how to overcome heartbreak.

    Blessings to you, Faith ext. 9608

  19. jeannie

    I love you and what you have said because although you profess to be a psychic, you admit that cannot save you from pain. I think most of us here are looking to undo the pain that is just part of being.

  20. Lillian Thigpen

    All of your advice makes sense, Iam in the middle of a breakup now still live in the same house and am trying to move out. It is not healthy for me and my life is not happy right now. I know that I need to work on myself,and I find that I have to break the ties completly in order to do so. We all deserve a person who loves us and respects us 100per cent. So thank you for giving me this advice I will try harder to make this move that is needed for my life.

  21. milly

    So true but one of the points I’d impossible because even when we removes everything that remind us of my ex there are children and we cannot removed that

  22. luvely me

    wow!!! is all i can say right now..you hit on some important points that i really need to hear and try. as heartbreaking as it is..these thing i really need to practice in my life right now. my heart is really heavy and i just want it to not be so heavy. thanks again i really needed to read this. i also printed up a copy of this and im gonna reflect back to this especially when im thinking of him or feel down about myself. thanks again

  23. sweetz1

    I will embrace this. Mainly, because it all make since. It’s funny how I find myself on this roller coaster ride. Today I might feel I’m okay, then tomorrow, I might feel down and out. It’s funny how love can make a person feel so low. Especially, after a bad break up. It’s true the break-up could have saved me from more or future pain to come. (21) Also, to love myself is really hard, and to be my own best friend? (17) All this is easier said than done. But, I will try really hard to apply this to my life. I hate waking up everyday hating the world and hating everything around me! It sad! We are to suppose to love ourselves and everyone in our circle! FUNNY, UH!? Wish me the best. Love this column.

  24. sophia

    I’m glad I read ur article,I feel so sad right now because I hav tried everything to make this relationship work,bt failed,I’m in so much pain,I hav tried most of ur points bt still think of him.Thanx I will not give up,I feel I’m still a beautiful woman and the is a man out there for me.

  25. Douglas Meeds

    I’ve been the receiver of this kind of pain, and I disagree with your point number five.
    When I tried that approach (twice), I felt so guilty—like I was cheating on my ex. What I had to do, was go to a quiet place where other people were (for me, that was a library)! That way, I could be “alone” but not isolated. But, dating others right away just made me feel miserable and guilty.


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