Trade Expectations for Explorations
Do you have a houseful of holiday guests coming for Thanksgiving? Are you already feeling like a pressure cooker building to explosive levels? Will your expectations get met, deflated, or exceeded?
Will you have a pleasant holiday this year? Get a reading with Psychic Spencer and find out!
Thanksgiving is approaching and many of us are already emotionally exhausted. A frequent and astute client, “Mariana,” taught me something last year when she called and mentioned how well her holiday went, even with the usual cast of disruptive and annoying characters. While she knew the holidays are supposed to be a fun, joyous series of occasions, she finally realized they got ruined for one big reason: her baseless expectations. What personal insight and courage she had to see this!
How Things “Should Be”
“Mariana” planned on things going a certain way. She fantasized about conversations, compliments and warm laughter. Her expectations were set ideas about what Thanksgiving dinner should be. But they were inaccurate wishes more often than not, and holding on tightly to these ideas can cause a lot of anxiety and pain. Clinging to a belief that there is only one acceptable outcome not only set her up for a great deal of potential disappointment, but created tension and struggle among everyone present.
“Mariana” realized in refusing to release her expectations of how things should be, she was refusing to go with the flow of life. This resulted in trying to control events, which was futile and exhausting. By holding too tightly to expectancy, or being too set on an exact outcome, she influenced her own behavior in ways that weren’t helpful or healthy, either. She contributed to the family arguments.
“Mariana” had a role in the chaos. Having her heart set on a certain goal and outcome implied a rigid feeling and approach. A self-admitted control freak, “Mariana” admitted to being set in her ways, with very little space for flow, freedom or spontaneity.
Beyond Goals and Dreams
There is nothing wrong with having goals and dreams. Life would become somewhat aimless without hopes and aspirations. But “Mariana” realized she was obsessed with the idea that there is only one very narrow path that can lead to fulfillment, and that she knew exactly, in the minutest detail, what that final destination must be.
Letting Go Was Hard
Holding on to expectations of how her family was to behave and enjoy the day caused “Mariana” to close her mind to potentially fulfilling opportunities, simply because those opportunities didn’t follow the exact formula she believed they should follow. “Mariana” admitted that letting go of her expectations was difficult. Like many of us, she was conditioned since childhood to grasp hold of goals and ideals, and to never let go. What she showed me is that we can keep our dreams, but we need to let go of the rigid ideas of how those dreams should come true.
Trade Expectations for Explorations
Once “Mariana” learned to release her grip on how she believed things should be, she began to enjoy how things really were, and opened her mind to the myriad of possibilities that exist with the holidays. She called me to tell me she is looking forward to Thanksgiving again this year. And, her message is one that I want to share with all of you: Dream big and dream wide. Don’t narrow your chances for happiness to one in a million, or even one in a hundred. If you trade your expectations for explorations, you’ll discover that there are a multitude of different ways that you can feel happy and fulfilled.