Alone on Valentine’s Day

If you’ve ever been single during February, you know it’s tough going. Valentine’s Day hits the mass-consciousness full force, filling us all with visions of love and prompting those who aren’t coupled up experience a whole new degree of lonely. The un-partnered among us may even find irony in the 1929 St. Valentine’s Day Massacre… After all, in the years since, countless hearts have been slain without good reason on the very same day. But rather than get caught up in the commerce of cupid’s holiday and let it lead you to feelings of inadequacy, there are two deeper and more positive things to remember. As February 14th approaches, recognize that love can be celebrated any day of the year, and the love you’re celebrating need not be the romantic kind. Take these tips for how to spend this Valentine’s Day if you’re not romantically involved: Give in to it! No matter what you hear about ignoring the holiday, if you’re feeling particularly bad and that’s a state you feel you need to indulge in (sometimes we do); go for it. Rent the sappiest love story ever, sprawl on your couch in your coziest pajamas and sob your eyes out. What the hell? We all love a good movie and we can all use a good cry now and then. You can do it alone or make it a group endeavor with your friends. Add pizza and popcorn to the table and it will feel just like junior high for a night… which will either make you feel better, or be more depressing than another dateless Valentine’s Day! Indulge yourself… Whether it’s at an actual spa or in the comfort of your living room, get a group of friends together and treat yourselves to a pampering experience. The treatments can range from facials and manicure/pedicures to simple shoulder massages, the important part is that you treat yourselves with the love you deserve. If you’re feeling introspective, go to the spa or salon on your own and enjoy the time in a relaxing environment. Either way, your body, mind and spirit will thank you! Sample the day’s wares Screw the bedmate (no pun intended!), the key ingredient to a Valentine’s Day well spent is chocolate! Add a nice wine and now you’re really talking. If you’d like to get really fancy, go ahead and throw in the food — as simple or as decadent as you choose. The important thing is that you don’t let being single prevent you from enjoying the spoils of the day. Gather a few friends or family members with whom you’re especially close and get into the spirit. Get your favorite candy, a little bubbly and — if you don’t feel like cooking or dining in restaurant — some take out. Use the day to celebrate the love that is in your life – the kind you most often take for granted! Change your perspective If you really want to celebrate love, find it in its purest form: start by loving yourself. If this sounds like a bunch of fluff designed to make the single among us feel better, think again. The romances you’ve had over the years have probably caused varying degrees of stress and strife, from petty squabbles to full fledged broken hearts. Relationships, while they have their upsides, can be the most painful experiences we endure as human beings. When involved, we tend to place our happiness in the hands of another person, which is a risky and ill-advised endeavor, since we all have our own hearts/minds/well-beings to consider already. A healthy relationship finds its fuel from compromise and partnership, not co-dependence or expectations – which is exactly where our current version of Valentine’s Day goes wrong. Fancy dinners and expensive presents are nice, sure. But do they define love? Of course not. In fact, the commercialization of the holiday gets away from the very idea that we’re meant to be celebrating. While relationship entanglements can be crazy making, when you love yourself, life gets less complicated. That’s not to say the struggle to reach a place of true self-love is an easy one, but once you know who you truly are and act with your highest good in mind, there is very little that can go wrong. Sure, outside circumstances can affect you, but they don’t determine your happiness. When you accept yourself, as you are and stop waiting for a partner to complete you, not only are you benefiting from the responsibility that you take for your own life, but you find fulfillment – which is probably what you’re hoping to achieve by partnering up with someone else. Singlehood, when taken full advantage of, can be one of the best, most personally fulfilling times of your life. That’s not saying you should stop looking to meet someone, but it does mean that you should stop waiting for your life to begin. You’re in it! Now get living! Love your life. Now that’s what Valentine’s Day should be about, no matter who you’re sharing it with at the moment! Looking for guidance when it comes to matters of the heart? Let one of our Love Experts help. Call 1.800.573.7495 today.

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