As Valentine’s Day approaches, for women, love is on the brain. In fact, in addition to thinking about love, many women are wondering why guys just aren’t as into this holiday as they are. After all, don’t men feel love?
Does his lack of enthusiasm for the holiday of love mean he doesn’t love you? Of course not. Here’s why:
According to the experts, love can make men feel “vulnerable, childlike and unable to do what’s expected of them.” This isn’t true of all men, but you need to know the guy you’re involved with and what love means to him. Has it been tough for him in the past? Does he have a hard time being vulnerable? None of this means he doesn’t love you… he may just have a hard time showing it.
We all know that in general, men are less communicative than women. They use words only when necessary for the most part and are very concerned with being accepted. Are women any different? Not really. But we express ourselves differently. Saying I love you may not be as big of a deal for a woman as it is for a man.
One 30 something man told i-village, “When I say I love you, I feel like I’m taking my life in my hands and giving it to her. It’s scary. I’ve got to really trust her and know she won’t throw my love away in order to actually say the words to her.”
Others said “I love you” means “I’m offering a commitment. I’m going to be here to do things for you.”
And that’s just it. For many men, love is expressed through action. On that note, the second way the experts say you can tell a man loves you is when he offers you tokens of affection.
Now wait right there, no one said expensive gifts. In fact, tokens of affection needn’t be candy, flowers, jewelry or anything that has a pricetag. For some men, giving their time to you is a gift according to one Relationship Therapist. That doesn’t mean him sitting in front of the TV ignoring you counts, but it does mean that when he spends more time with you and less doing what he’d do if you weren’t in the picture, he’s showing his feelings for you. By choosing to be with you, he’s saying he cares.
Likewise, When your guy comforts you through a difficult time, does little things around your place, attends weddings, and the like with you or puts you first when he makes plans, the message is the same. He loves you. And he expects you to understand that to be true.
Last, comes the confusing part. Physical affection is the way many men most easily express their feelings. Intimacy breaks down barriers and “provides a feeling of closeness that cannot be so easily obtained in any other manner” for some guys. Does that mean that just because he’s sleeping with you, he loves you? Of course not. It’s important to take notice of how much of his life a man shares with you. If he only comes by in the evenings and you don’t know much about his friends, family and life, he’s probably compartmentalizing and you’re not a potential love partner for him. But if a man with whom you’re intimate tells you that he loves you only when you’re physical – and shows it at other times, it’s nothing to be afraid of.
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