Sex, like food, water, air and sunshine, is a human need. We all want it – need it even – to live a fulfilled, happy and complete existence. Sex relieves stress, connects us to our partners and is the very stuff of which we’re made as human beings… Yet, as with all things (including food, water, air and sunshine!), you can get too much of it.
Conversely, when it’s in short supply, sex can take over your thoughts – rendering you obsessive, or worse still, feeling inadequate or desperate. The solution, you ask? It may be time to take a sex break.
Just as people fast or cleanse for spiritual or health purposes, a sex break can have multiple benefits – not least of which is deeper self-understanding that leads to better sex down the road. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, here are a few reasons to consider a short-term (or long-term) hiatus from sex.
If you’re in a relationship, the number one reason to take a sex-hiatus (which will admittedly be shorter term… after all, there’s someone next to you in bed!) is to break your sexual routine and spice things up in the bedroom. Sound crazy – abstaining in order to amplify? Well, everyone knows that relationship sex can get boring if it’s not tended to… and of course, in the middle of a routine, most of us aren’t tending to it. So, taking a week or more off (with the promise of a wild session at the end of your designated detour) may be just what you need to get your imaginations working again. Goodbye missionary Mondays… hello romance reignited, any day of the week!
Oftentimes, if you’re single there is huge pressure (self-imposed or otherwise) to find the one… get in a relationship… or settle down. On a lot of occasions, this leads us to act from desire (sexual or personal) rather than our highest good. Think about it, when was the last time you waited to see if you really liked someone before having sex? That doesn’t mean you did it on the first, second or even third dates. It means that if you’re like most of us, you probably bowed to pressure (if not from the other person, then from your hormones or what we see as societal norms), only to find out you didn’t really want to be with the person you’d had sex with. Now this isn’t the worst thing in the world (in fact, it’s part of dating), but if you make an active decision to abstain for a designated period (even if it’s until you feel really comfortable again), you will find you release yourself from some of the pressures of dating and are free to explore who you are, who your date is, and who you are together beyond the most basic of acts. Plus, there’s a bonus to waiting. The extended foreplay is bound to enhance the experience when it does happen naturally.
Get in touch… with yourself
It may sound counter-intuitive to a “sex break,” but taking some time off from doing the deed with others does not have to mean you fall… um… out of touch with yourself. In other words, if you decide not to have sex for a month or two or three… and you dedicate yourself to self-pleasure in all areas – not just sexual, but spiritual, physical and mental, you will likely find yourself transformed, and possibly in a very profound way in the end. And 99% of the time “transformed” means you will be leading a better life!
If you’re feeling disconnected – driven by the external routine as opposed to your internal desires or highest good), abstain from life as you know it. In other words, beyond the responsibilities you have to tend to (work, family, etc.) make it your goal to uncover new things that please you – whether it’s how to spend a Sunday afternoon (with a new hobby) or how to love being alone.
After all, as in life, sometimes the only way to get what you want from someone else is to know what it is you want and how to achieve it yourself! The more personally fulfilled you are, the more fulfilling your future (or current) relationship will be.
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