Sex Q&A: Torn Apart Heart

Cynthia’s Question:

About a year ago, I had an affair with a married man. I’m married with two young children. There was no question that I would leave my marriage for him. I never felt such an intense physical connection with someone. He said it was mind-blowing. I was terribly heart-broken when it ended, and I called California Psychics for advice. To my surprise, I was told that we would be together in a few years. This news tore me apart, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I’m still with my husband, and I would like to live in the moment. Yet his image keeps coming back to me. Am I destined to have a life, or put it on hold while waiting for the coming years? Thank you.

Liam ext. 9290’s Response:

Cynthia, thank you so much for sharing this. I can sense the fever of your connection with your former lover, and the difficulty with which you maneuver on an emotional level. This particular case serves as a perfect example of the human need for diversity in love and in life. We can follow the primal drive to experience evolving levels of sexual response, as well as the biological need for variety in mating.

I feel that you and your husband were very well matched for reproductive purposes during the time you met and mated. However, we are energy forms, and we’re never quite as fixed and solid as we’d like be. Our sexual natures are constantly struggling against the current of the status quo. Different partners and different combinations of lovers can bring out different aspects within us. The chemistry is never exactly the same. You and your husband had the right make-up to produce really good offspring. It was a loving bond. Sex in the context of breeding is a rather straight up sort of business. There is usually a ferocious drive to get the job done, but once you’re in the midst of it, passion may not even come into play. It’s a very different process from sex as an exchange of energy and communication between lovers. I feel that you and your husband still have a fair sex life, passable for what it is in a stable, if boring, marriage.

This other man happens to be the type more suited to your body’s tastes. Indeed, it seems to me that your entire sense of being as a woman is linked to his vitality. He knows you, the animalistic aspect of you, and cares little for the masks you wear, or the games you play for your family’s sake. He wants to stalk you like prey, strip you naked, and carry you straight into his lair. Your love with him wasn’t meant to bear offspring, but to liberate the flesh, and replenish the soul. Flipping and bumbling, grasping and moaning down that rabbit hole, you experienced all the lush and terrifying emotions love and lust can bring. Pleasure like that is always accompanied by pain and fear. There is just no separating that trinity.

You were with him, and your life was enriched. Whether you left your husband or not was not a factor. Honestly, I don’t think it would have been a good idea. What you had in bed with him was one thing. Life demands more of married partners than bombastic sensual chemistry. It’s a wonderful bonus if it’s in the foundation, but long-term commitments need more.

What I see as the problem here is that you called California Psychics, and got some fine readings that scared you silly. This is not a bad thing. The readings shook you up. They made you think. That’s important. Readings are all about you, your life, and your choices. The information a psychic gives is meant to be an aid for you to utilize as you see fit.

It has to do with probabilities and potentials. The information is offered to you as a guide on your journey of spirit and self. It’s not meant as a set-in-stone declaration from on high, and I don’t think any reader here claims to be an end-all spokesperson for the gods. You received the information for a reason, but most of what will actually happen in your life will result from what you decide to do. The most powerful component in any psychic reading isn’t the reader, the information, or how it’s accessed – it’s you.

From what I can see, the energies are indeed moving in the direction that other readers have told you. It appears that you and this man can go for periods of separation. In the end, you just can’t keep your hands off each other. You have a red hot lover in one place, and a lukewarm partner at home. In situations like this, resentment can build. Most people start fancying the notion of being with the red hot lover all the time. Sometimes it’s good. Other times, it’s not practical. In your case, there is the added potential for you to keep both your marriage and your lover. Those forbidden interludes keep you vital. However, if you decide to go this route, then be naughty and flavorful. Also, be cautious and be safe. It’s actually a fairly good arrangement for both of you, so long as no one starts getting prickly notions based on morality and convention.

It won’t be easy. No one ever promised us that life would be without its dangers and pains. Your lover might become your mate in the next few years. That is certainly one possibility, but not the only one. There are actually many options to consider. Mature love is about knowing the needs of the body, and the mandates of the spirit. Denial is not a paradigm of nourishment. The most important thing is to stop worrying.


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4 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: Torn Apart Heart

  1. terraces

    Guys, it is rare for anyone to say to the effect that nobody has a copyright of what is eternal. Nobody has returned from death to tell us about it, we can just imagine to the limits of our mind the possibilities of what is eternal. It takes much stronger religious foundation to be unshaken if one is lonely. Could anyone enter into a socially forbidden affair by saying: It is not my spouse, it is not really about him or because of him, it is about me! When selfish concerns come in, trouble or magic could come in.

    It is great to be true to one’s troth, and it means being honest and loyal even with the odds. The art of telling our mate that things are not getting fine somewhere inside of us is something to be learned but as we clam up inside ourselves in such a loneliness even in the presence of the person we promised a vow to love and to hold, we get into an abyss where we need to hold on to be able to say: I COULD BE HAPPY AND BLOWN OFF TO THE HEIGHTS! Someone may come our way and offer a ‘loving’ hand, whatever that could mean.

    Roller coaster rides in love and affairs could end until we ride again. Still, in the end one is faced with a set of values to keep. Many lonely women fall into the trap of affairs, men are keen at lapping up an easy prey. A matter of choice. A matter of guts. A matter of perseverance. A matter of love. Life and love could be mysterious indeed. Prayer or meditation should help. Keeping busy and creative could help. I really am not sure what could help for people who are shattered somewhere inside themselves. We can just observe and learn.

  2. yeppoon

    Your response is full of contradictions and ridiculous notions that our spiritual being needs physical stimulation….AND, that conventions such as marriage, fidelity, responsibility, raising children in a monogomous household, and an honest and open relationship…..are somehow not as important to living as being intensely sexually stimulated now and then. Get off it both of you! You had an affair….it was raw passionate sex….great – for a while. BUT so absolutely selfish and destructive that I cannot understand how you face yourself every morning.
    It seems that we are a generation of entitlement, we DESERVE to have passion and excitement. Well, get excited about your husband, and be passionate about the life you have. Children blossom in honesty and true unconditional love- not in secret liaisons for Mum every now and then. Kids know, and so does your husband and your lover’s wife.

  3. tray

    Sorry, Cynthia, I diagee with Liam’s assessment and advice. It’s actually appalling that anyone recommends cheating (“Also, be cautious and be safe. It’s actually a fairly good arrangement for both of you, so long as no one starts getting prickly notions based on morality and convention.”)

    There is one “prickly” factor that was overlooked: karma. You cheated on your husband. It won’t be as much fun when it’s done to you.


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