Sex Q&A: First-Time Cougar

Regina writes:

For the past several months, I’ve been enjoying a ‘friends-only’ relationship with a lovely man almost 20 years younger than me. He’s hinted at being open to a sexual relationship. Last night, he blatantly asked me to go to bed with him. I’m not old fashioned — I recognize the chemistry between us – – but my friend is two years younger than my oldest child! Why on earth would he want to be with me, when there are plenty of women his own age, who I know are interested in him? Am I setting myself up for more trouble than this relationship is worth?

Dear Regina,

Regina, you are being offered the chance to embark on an odyssey of the most sensual sort. Ease your mind away from any concern with social perceptions. The media may have only recently caught on to what everyone else has known all along — the delirious sexual buffet that can be experienced by older women and younger men.

It’s ok to be a bit hesitant … I sense that you have been dating men your own age or older for several years now, and frankly, the sex is dull. This man is exactly what you need. An older woman who takes a younger lover awakens an intense energy that lies latent within her, unleashing the deepest aspects of her primal self.

For the younger male, such a relationship provides experience and profound comfort. It nurtures the Warrior aspect so often left untended in our culture. I advise you to go ahead and take this opportunity, for I sense it will be a good thing for both of you. But please be realistic and go in with open eyes. All relationships have a time, a place, and a reason. I sense this will last no more than a few months, and then he will be gone.

The bittersweet parting may leave you feeling slightly bruised, but you will be the richer for his presence during this brief time. You, I sense, will find a lifemate shortly after the affair is over. Ironically, he will also be a few years younger than you.

Be well and take care,


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