Sex Q&A: Bedroom Secrets

Indigo writes:

I’m in love with a man who has sex with another woman, but shares his emotions with me. He says I have to accept the sex thing for now, because we live far apart. He’s told me he’s been with men and also had threesomes. This doesn’t worry me — but it would her. He believes if the other woman knew about this, she would withdraw the sex. What I can’t do is make any comment about her without his getting angry. I would love him even if we never have sex.

Dear Indigo,

There is no easy way for me to honestly say what I sense is really going on. I urge you to take a close look at your own words as we move through the energy of the situation. Who really has this man’s body and soul? He tells you that he uses this woman for sex only, and that you are the only one he wants emotionally, but I sense this is a cunning and elaborate way for him to entangle you in his games. He is with her, not you, without a question.

If he tells you secrets and refuses to reveal himself to her, it is only because he is captivated by her. I sense that she is the one who wields the force and applies the pressure — and she does so without mercy. Some men rather enjoy a merciless lover, and I sense that yours is one such fellow. Most of what he says to you are lies. He likes to appease his ego with your constant attention and stroking.

It is a vicious cycle. He lives for her domination — yet, his weak nature cannot accept this fact entirely, so he comes whimpering to you for compassion and confidence. But make no mistake, when a man sees someone just for sex, he doesn’t care a bit about that person’s displeasure. The truth is that he has ferocious passion for her, and he will not let her go.

Please move on, this relationship is destroying your soul. Send this manipulator back to his cruel mistress. It’s where he wants to be, and he need not involve you if he has issues of pride over it.

Be well,


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