What Does Heaven-Sent Really Mean?
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I have a question about the man I’m with now. Is he heaven-sent or is he here to teach me a lesson and then I move on? I’ve been with him a little over a year and we get along great now. However, at first, he didn’t get along with my kids and he didn’t want a commitment. Yet, he stuck around.
When I posted stuff on Facebook about “guys like him” it would upset him. I was about to call it quits because he wouldn’t give me what a girl needs to feel loved in a relationship. He didn’t cuddle me, wouldn’t hold hands, and wouldn’t even share a bed with me. But, suddenly, things changed and now my kids want to call him “Dad!” It feels like a miracle that they have a good relationship with him. However, nothing has changed between him and me.
If he can open his heart to my kids, why can’t he open his heart to me? I know he loves me, but I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I don’t feel like we got together by chance; it has to be like this for a reason. Why did the Universe make my kids love him? Why can’t the Universe make him love me? Is he heaven-sent or not?
Psychic Cameron ext. 5412 responds:
I read your letter very carefully and I consulted my guides and my cards for my response. Thank you for writing, and for sharing your question with me.
First, I believe someone can be brought into our lives by the Universe, “heaven-sent” as you say, and still be there to teach us a lesson. And it always works both ways; you are here to teach him a lesson as well. I also believe that just because someone is “heaven-sent,” that doesn’t mean we need to stay with them forever. In some cases, part of the lesson involves letting that person go. We learn the lesson and realize that it’s time to move on—to other relationships and other lessons.
My cards reveal, in several spreads, that this is a man who is capable of kindness. He doesn’t seem cruel and appears as the King of Wands in my reading. This suggests to me that rather than deliberately wanting to hurt you, he has a fear of commitment. Perhaps he even some fears about physical intimacy. He may have a belief that not being physical keeps the relationship “pure.” I suspect he is also kind because children are usually a very good judge of character, and from what you’ve described, they enjoy him and are building a positive relationship. I know that as a mother this is very important to you.
At the same time, while his relationship with your children is admirable, the problem is, your partner is not a teacher or a coach from their school—he is your romantic partner. In order to be the “Dad” to your “Mom,” that means the fundamental relationship (his relationship to you) has to be intact.
You appear in my reading as the Queen of Cups. This is a woman who is deeply loving, who wants a passionate connection with her partner, and who has a lot to give. It’s one thing if this man has some specific reason for withholding intimacy (depression, job loss, trauma)—something that could be treated by a doctor or a therapist. But from what I understand, that isn’t the case or he can’t share that with you. Whatever his reasons, to stay with him without confronting the situation means you’re signing up for more months or years of feeling frustrated and rejected. No matter how much fun your children are having with him, that isn’t fair to you.
In the end, if you aren’t happy, your children will eventually be unhappy too. While I think this man has some good qualities, as a romantic partner his primary responsibility is to love you and build a relationship with you first. The lesson for you in this situation may be that you are learning to ask for what you need, and if it’s unavailable, then move on. My suggestion is that if you really care for this man, have another talk with him. Tell him how wonderful it has been to see him show up for your children, but bring up your concerns. Many of my clients know that when I see the Four of Wands in a reading, as I do in yours, it’s time to set a boundary or get some clarification about the problem—knowing that it won’t solve itself.
If you find that he cannot, under any circumstances, envision or commit to a long-term relationship that also includes physical intimacy, then I believe you should let him go. I also recommend, based on the Six of Cups upside down, that you speak with him soon. The longer he is a part of your family as “Dad,” the more difficult your decision will be and the more painful for your children if you do choose to end the relationship.
My cards indicate that there is a loving man who, if your partner is unwilling to change, will come into your life next year. I believe that you can and should have it all—a man who adores you and who also enjoys your kids. That sounds like a man who is “heaven-sent.” Ask for what you need and remember that the Universe always supports you. Every opportunity is just another way for you to learn to love yourself.
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