Psychic Q&A: My Dad is in a Nursing Home

Psychic Q&A: My Dad is in a Nursing Home

His Spirit Leaves the Nursing Home

Dear Kallista,

I did not have a good relationship with my father growing up. He constantly invaded my privacy and he was an angry and volatile person. Now he’s in hospice care at a nursing home in Honolulu, Hawaii. Because of his past behavior, no one in the family wants to deal with him and the responsibility has fallen on me to take care of him and my mother who is also about to go into hospice too.

The strange thing is that I constantly hear my father’s voice here in Europe, where I live. I’ve even seen his shadow in my home. How is this possible? I feel like I am being victimized by my father again. I do have empathy for him, but we have no contact and I prefer it to be that way. His voice and his shadow have been plaguing me for the last two years. What’s causing this? Do I have to wait until he passes for it stop?

B. Kawamura

Psychic Kallista ext. 9623 responds:

Dear B.,

What a wonderful daughter you are to take care of your mother, and of your father even though he was so abusive. It feels like the nursing home is doing everything it can to give good care. The actions you have taken to help your father are helping you to heal.

Your father’s abuse caused you great pain. You’ve felt so much hurt and even anger at him, but you have become quite strong in spite of, or even partly because of your incredibly difficult experience with him while you were growing up.

Not having contact with him has been the right thing to do, because he was, and remains, pretty impossible to reason with. It may make you feel better to know his soul, which is much deeper than his conscious mind, is struggling with guilt for treating you so horribly, and he sometimes leaves his body in the nursing home to come “visit” you in spirit. However, while he wants to make amends with you on the soul level, his visits only bring up more pain for you, and it’s time to stop them by releasing those feelings. Once you do this release work, you will feel free again.

The best way to bring resolution to your distressing situation is to have a conversation in spirit with your father. Not in person at his nursing home, just soul-to-soul. To do this, go to a quiet, private place. Be still and go inward, as you would in meditation. Visualize your father standing before you. See him in your mind’s eye as clearly as you can. Then let him have it. Speak your pain to him. Scream it if you need to. Tell him everything you need him to know about how much he hurt you. You can also write your pain down as a letter to send him, or do it just for yourself, and then burn the pages, tear them up, or cut them to pieces and throw them out as a way of letting your subconscious know you are done carrying this hurt and heartache.

Now for the truly difficult part. You must forgive him. But know that forgiving him is not the same thing as telling him that what he did is okay! His abuse of you was not, and will never be, okay. Instead, it is formally giving back the pain he caused you to him. Let him carry it. This is how to set yourself free. Then tell his spirit to leave you alone and let you be.

You can do this now. You don’t have to wait for another one of his spirit visits. This has nothing to do with whether he is alive or not. However, it has everything to do with soul healing and the resulting freedom from this plague of pain. Sometimes, the old pain will resurface, but it’s only coming up so you can release it. Just repeat that you forgive him and you are now free from him and the hurt he caused you. The anguish—and the unwelcome visits—you have endured will finally fade away and you will feel peace.

Wishing you every blessing of hope, love, and peace,


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