How is your will power these days? Do you find yourself salivating into the window of a designer shoe store, then marching inside as if in a trance, and buying a pair of Christian Louboutin pumps that equal the cost of your rent?
At a business dinner, when the heaping slice of chocolate mint ganache is brought to your table, can you go without or do you feel an irresistible urge to stuff every creamy, decadent morsel into your mouth? When you meet a hottie at your favorite downtown club, do you bring them home that night for some burnin’ love making or do you wait to get to know them before sealing the deal?
When you’re unable to resist temptation, you fall into a double trap. You’ve committed an act that provokes feelings of guilt and negativity, and you weaken your resolve further each time this happens. This vicious cycle can only be stopped by a decisive endeavor on your part. Resisting temptation will actually allow you to discover an inner strength that you never knew you had – one that will force you to look in other directions for satisfaction. The beauty of this is that when you actually do redirect your energy, you open a world of possibilities for yourself, which in turn opens up more possibilities to those in your inner circle.
First, however, you have to come to the moment of truth, the moment when you say to yourself, “That’s it. I’ve had it with my inability to resist food/spending/sex/whatever. No more giving in to it – I’m going to stand up to my weakness.” From there, you need to put your plan into action. The best way to do this is to find a replacement for the bad behavior.
How do you do this? To resist costly splurges every time you’re tempted to spend unnecessarily, for instance, try putting the cost of the item into a special account earmarked for a down payment on a vaction, your dream car or even a piece of property. Doing the simple math on this, if a pair of fancy footwear costs roughly $100, you put the money you would have spent into that account. If your temptations occur, say, once a week, by the end of the year you’ll have saved $5,200 towards your dream purchase. Before long, your resistance to high-priced shoes will lead to a life-changing or truly enhancing experience.
To resist calorie-rich, sugar-laden foods, try the “one bite” rule. It’s common knowledge that only the first taste of a decadent dessert is what really makes your senses giddy with a satiating sugar rush. So instead of eating the entire piece, just take one heaping forkful. This will force you to really appreciate what you’re tasting, rather than blindly shoveling it down your gullet and wondering where the whole piece went so quickly. Your other option is to substitute that food with another activity. Excuse yourself from the table to fix your lipstick or use the restroom. By the time you return to the table, the plates will have been cleared (or otherwise emptied). Or you can order a fruit dessert for the table in addition to the high caloric one and focus on that one.
Is it love?
Being able to say no to sex takes special resolve. It feels good and satisfies an animalistic urge. But if you’re unable to say no to someone who only 24 hours earlier had been a stranger, you’re entering into dangerous territory. We don’t have to remind you of the possibilities of being alone with someone you really don’t know. But let’s look at this from another point of view – if what you really want is a relationship, then having wham-bam-thank you-ma’am sex will kill that plan. Think of it as playing hard to get, but without the inherent games. It’s good for both of you to wait until you know each other better, appreciate each other’s qualities and are sure that your relationship is going somewhere. When you finally do the horizontal Lambada, you’ll both appreciate it more and your relationship will be built on friendship, not lust – a more lasting quality.
While there’s a place for flings, an abundance of them will only make you feel used – no matter how much you tell yourself you’re in control. So how do you avoid resisting sexual urges? Find a replacement for them that expends similar energy. Exercise is the perfect antidote, as it causes you to focus both mental and physical energy on body movement. The great benefit is that by the time you’re ready to have sex, your body will look absolutely smokin’!
Try these options and you’ll feel stronger, more in control of your destiny and will have benefited from opening yourself to other opportunities. When you do actually allow yourself the occasional food, spending or sexual splurge, it will have so much more meaning.
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