Communication is the key to many things in life, and in relationships it’s no different. Yet more times than not we can find ourselves guessing about what someone is thinking and feeling, interpreting signals – or the lack of them – as opposed to coming right out and asking.
This can kick internal dialogue into overdrive as we attempt to sniff out intentions – instead of allowing interactions and connections to speak for themselves. Conjuring up questions about how much the other person is into you, speculating about whether they’re fantasizing about your next rendezvous, or even assessing whether that last romp between the sheets was as good for them as it was for you… it’s all just guesswork.
Attempts to second-guess are about as effective and accurate as rolling the dice at a craps table in an attempt to pay off a debt – it leaves you tied up inside your own head, instead of enjoying quality moments with the person you’re seeing.
So why not try getting out of your head and deeper into your own soul the next time you’re in a relationship?
Show and tell
Showing versus telling speaks the truth. If you’re wondering what the heck is going on in your relationship, just sit back, relax, and watch your partner in action. If your lover is sweeping you into their arms with reckless abandon, chances are they’re digging you. If they dip in for a luscious kiss whenever you enter the room, it’s safe to say they yearn to have your lips near theirs.
When you feel an urge to know exactly what someone is thinking, or where your relationship is headed, or if they can see beautiful horizons as vividly as you do, you are most definitely out of the moment and back into the mind-reading zone. Much more can be gained by being present so you can hear the truth when someone speaks or shows it. Otherwise you run the risk of conjuring up a false negative or a false positive in the relationship’s grand test.
If you play your cards right you’re leaving little room for misinterpretation. Regardless of where you are in your romantic connections, just “being” can be the single most accurate way of staying in touch and in tune with things. So set aside your neuroses, and quiet that nipping inner voice so you can just be.
How to get out of your head
Stop, look and learn. Yes, eyes are the widows into someone – as are gestures, subtle glances, strokes and physical connections. By opening up your eyes you’ll learn soon enough where you stand, and you’re bound to have fun doing it. While you’re at it, spend some time making eye contact. Hold it, and enjoy where that leads.
Know each other. Make the most of your time together as you make connections… intimate and small, public and heated, slow and heartfelt. Each moment is worthy of celebration.
Laugh. When you feel your head threatening to think – just laugh. It’s a surefire way to release your inner tension, lighten a mood and send your heart racing. Do it often enough and the next thing you know, your head may go on permanent hiatus, which isn’t a bad thing in love.
By stopping the urge to mind-read and sliding your preconceived expectations to the side, you open up a highway of potential, allowing you to go wherever the road may take you. As you step out of your front door have only one mission in your mind: to soak in the luxury of life and love. Nothing more.
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, treat each day as if it was your first, and last and vow to enjoy it together.
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