Free Yourself, Don’t Hold Back

Why Do You Hold Yourself Back?

I sometimes don’t understand people. I’ve been helping people through various means for a long time. The thing that I find most disturbing is the fact that so many people in our world hold themselves back and don’t allow themselves to become better or to improve their lives.

We, as human beings, tend to hold on rigidly to the past. We do this so much so that we chain ourselves to it. In being chained to the past we are unable to move into the future, even when the future may be looking us right in the eyes.

Many people seem to not want to change. They think that when life falls apart that life is over with and that, if they hold on tightly enough, things will get better.

One of the most magical things about life is that it’s ever changing. New people, new circumstances, new situations arise around us when we allow ourselves to participate fully in life.

One of the amazing things about human beings is that we are among the most flexible species in our world. We can change our mind with a snap of the fingers. We can alter our feelings anytime we choose. We can move from a state of depression to a state of happiness and back in a matter of seconds purely through our physiological actions and our mental beliefs.

When you put these two things together—the ever changing nature of life and the human talent to be flexible in actions/thoughts/feelings, you have not only formulas for success, but a grand adventure waiting for you.

The human mind is a phenomenal tool. It’s sad that the majority of us have been conditioned to use it in a way that is self sabotaging. Instead of building ourselves up by saying things like “What an amazing idea!” or “I always manage to find a solution!” and “It’s too bad they are having a bad day/I shall enjoy mine anyway!” we tear ourselves apart by saying things like “I’m stupid!” or “I can’t do anything right!” and “If only I would have…”

Instead of seeking answers to questions that can benefit us such as “What steps do I need to take to get there?” “What makes my life great?” and “What can I do to make myself happy?” we ask ourselves questions that devastate us such as “What’s wrong with me?” “Why can’t I do anything right?” and “Will people be mean to me/reject me if I mess up?”

I’m not saying thinking positively will always equate to having good things happen in life—but I will say that it’s not the events in life which truly matter, rather it’s the perception of those events that we hold in our mind and how we ultimately choose to respond to them that dramatically impacts our lives.

Take for example two young women. Both have experienced breakups. One is happy and excited about the future the other is depressed believing life to be over. What makes up the difference between them? Simply put – how they’ve chosen to view the breakup—not the breakup itself.

The same can be said of two people that shut down their business. Whereas one may feel that life is over and believe that that they were a failure, the other secretly smiles knowing that there will be more business opportunities in the future. He is already creating a new vision, a new plan for his life despite his recent history. What’s the difference between them? Again, perspective.

Now it’s time to ask yourself, what is your perspective? What are your perceptions? Are you happy? If not, don’t you think it’s time you used your gift of flexibility to make changes within your own mind and life? It may not be easy, but it is possible and you’ll be much more thankful that you’ve opted to make those changes when life is feeling and looking ten times better. Let’s face it, if what you’ve been doing isn’t working to produce the results you’re seeking—perhaps making a change and trying something different is needed.

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7 thoughts on “Free Yourself, Don’t Hold Back

  1. Lynn Rose

    Nice Work, Hayden!

    Could it be feeling sorry for yourself puts us in a state that makes “almost” anything different look better? Thus, giving you that chance to change your focus? Making your outlook at the future brighter. During a 12 affair filled with numerous breakups I always thought life would never be the same, or at least better. If it was a reunion or someone new, the change was always for the better. If it was our “God” watching over us, or just plain good karma following us. I have to believe the anything is better than a bleeding heartbreak. May those feeling that heartbreak, see the good in the change and in a different today than yesterday….Peace

  2. Lisa

    (^_-) so true!
    I think that most people do get some satisfaction ~ as bizarre as it sounds ~ in having a little “pity party”
    I don’t know why, but most folks kind of enjoy feeling sorry for themselves. And it’s probably very natural. Maybe a primitive thing? Maybe even serves a purpose…who knows!
    But, one mustn’t wallow there too long! Feel it, then get back on the horse! Keep going…
    The key to life ~ just keep going…progress!
    Life will usually work out, if we let it!
    Really great article. This site sounds a bit corny-the name- but, I’m totally impressed with the material, and how it’s presented. Keep up the great work!

  3. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Very nice article, Hayden !!!!

    It’s true, it’s a big wide world out there……and the world is ever changing, ever evolving and so should we constantly seek to expand our perspective on ourselves and life in general, and consequently, expand our horizons.


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