Compliments: Are They Flattery or Manipulation?

Cautious About Compliments

For many years, it was hard for me to take a compliment. If someone said, “You have nice eyes” or, “You’re funny. I like spending time with you.” my gut reaction was to say something like, “Oh no, stop. You can’t be serious.” But after I developed a more mature sense of self-respect I learned to say “Thanks” and leave it at that. I don’t think about the motive behind the compliment, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

When it comes to compliments, how do you know if someone is being sincere? Could they be flattering you in order to manipulate you into doing or giving them what they want? It’s not always easy to tell.

Are they trying to manipulate you or are they being sincere? A psychic reading can help you discover the truth!

Manipulation

The word “manipulation” has a negative connotation, but it simply means to change the circumstances of a situation in order to get a desired result. So someone could be complimenting you in order to sway you to their way of thinking or to disarm you or break down the barriers between the two of you. It’s manipulation, but it’s not always negative. They could just be trying to get to know you better. And who doesn’t like to be told they’re pretty, handsome, smart or funny? It’s nice to hear, especially when it’s a heartfelt compliment with no ulterior motive behind it.

Is your partner manipulating you? Get a love reading from Psychic Virgil ext. 6287 and find out!

So how do you know if the person complimenting your is being sincere. Start by thinking about why someone would be complimenting you. Think about who they are and what their connection is to you. Are they your manager or do they report to you? Do they say the same compliments over and over again? Do they ask you for something right after they compliment you?

Some people compliment others, because they want a compliment in return. If they need a self-esteem boost, they may compliment you with the hope that you’ll say the same thing back to them. After all, don’t we often feel obligated to return a compliment once it’s been paid to us? They could also be trying to bond with you, and they figure complimenting you will make you friends, lovers, business partners, etc.

Caution

Here’s when to be cautious. Let’s say someone compliments you right before asking you for money or to do something you don’t want to do. That’s the bad kind of manipulation. That’s when a red flag should go up. Or when your boss tells you you’re doing a great job but won’t promote you or give you a raise. Compliments are free, so they’re giving them freely, but what you really want is the money and title you deserve. That’s another red flag. Compliments don’t pay your bills! Be cautious. Be realistic about your future with the company. I’m a big believer in letting your conscious guide you. If the little voice in your head is saying “beware,” listen to it.

Learn to trust your gut! Psychic Elmira ext. 6280 can show you how.

Sincerity

So how can we tell if a compliment is sincere? One of the best ways is to talk to someone you trust. Tell a friend, partner or your psychic what happened and ask them for their opinion. They have nothing to gain by lying to you. They’ll be honest. Does it match up with what you’ve been thinking? If you think you’re being manipulated, and your trusted confidant agrees, chances are you should proceed with caution. But if you both agree that the compliment was sincere, you’ve probably got nothing to worry about.

Do they have ulterior motives? Psychic Beverly ext. 5747 can tell you!

The best advice I can give is to take compliments at face value and don’t worry about their motives. If they make you feel good, sit with that feeling. Don’t dissect the compliments and analyze them from every angle. It takes the good feelings away. But if you feel like someone is using compliments to manipulate you, trust your gut and proceed with caution.

8 thoughts on “Compliments: Are They Flattery or Manipulation?

  1. Seren ext. 5445Psychic Seren, Ext 5445

    That should have read: I didn’t feel that Tony was trying to undermine anyone’s self-confidence by advising that they ask the advice of a trusted confidante in certain situations.

    Seren

    Reply
  2. Seren ext. 5445Psychic Seren, Ext 5445

    Hi Sibila,

    I didn’t feel that Tony was trying to undermine anyone’s self-confidence by advising that they ask the advice of a trusted confident in certain situations. Rather, I felt it was inferred that someone should seek advice from a trusted friend, partner or psychic if they themselves were unsure of the motivation of the person who had paid them the compliment and wanted an objective perspective.

    It can sometimes be challenging to get a clear understanding of the motivation behind someone else’s words, even a compliment, if we are emotionally involved in a situation, and Tony rightly suggested asking for aid in clearly understanding someone’s possible motivations.

    We all need a little help every now and then, no matter how confident, secure or self-actualized we are and there is no shame in asking for that help.

    Brightest blessings,
    Seren

    Reply
  3. goldielocks

    had the exact same thing happen to me from somene met on internet site. when we met it was instant attraction, and he took advantage of that, few months later was going to lose his home due to late payments,so i sent him money for that, later said he wasnt eating, didnt have the money, and on it went. reader from CP told me to not send him any more money, he milks the situatiom , and is a master manipulator, and it taking advantage of your good nature.thank goodness for CP.

    Reply
  4. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi,

    I thought all of the ladies had good points….Patty, Karen, Sibila, and Deb.

    as a side note, sadly, I am receiving more and more calls from older ladies who are meeting younger men on internet dating sites and are being scammed for money.

    In all of these cases, the men will shower them with compliments for months on end to ” set the hook “, and then seem to always start having money problems or emergencies that require financial help from their oversees older lady romantic interests. And then when any mention of payback of monies is mentioned, these men turn cold and start cutting back the contact with these older ladies. They are master emotional manipulators…how cruel !!! They seem to like to target widows too. And sadly, 99% of these women are calling me AFTER they have been scammed for months and are in emotional distress asking why the guy is suddenly backing away from them (?)…and if he still loves them (?) and will he still marry them (?)

    Ladies beware and take extra caution with any oversees relationship started thru an internet dating site !

    Having said that, not ALL internet, long distance relationships
    are bad or end badly…some are legit and I have seen some turn into beautiful romances and even marriages.

    But I HAVE seen an uptick in activity since the 2008 financial upheaval, with scams involving older ladies and oversees relationships with men.

    Reply
  5. Sibila

    The feeling I am getting from posting this kind of ‘warning’ against compliments is not
    quite that you are trying to help, dear Tony. The feeling tells me for one thing that you are not empowering people to really trust their gut feeling but rather ‘ask a friends’ opinion or a psychics help. This is making people weaker and not stronger, right?
    Another thing is, and that’s something I have learnt for myself, is that compliments are nice but we should do things that we feel we ant to do. One shouldn’t necessarily base one’s decisions on hat anyone else tells us no matter if someone gives us a compliment or anything else. This is called being proactive and not reactive.
    Well, I trust myself and follow my feelings and intuition. Shouldn’t we try to empower others by teaching and demonstrating ho it’s done?!
    Follow your heart everyone :)))

    Reply
  6. Karen

    This is an important distinction- whether a compliment is sincere or has an ulterior motive behind it.
    While I agree that we might as well enjoy the compliment on face- value….
    it’s my experience that often people completely* believe* the compliment- rather than not taking it well, or dissecting it- they go the other extreme. I know, because I did and so did my friends. In other words if he days I’m beautiful, maybe he does think so.
    But it doesn’t mean I *am*.
    Think I’m splitting hairs?
    My point is really that so many of us, especially women, depend on others for their self- esteem. We can also, if we didn’t have loving parents, or were left alone at a young age, be so insecure that we cling to all those compliments, rather than see ourselves kindly, but honestly -and most of all, develop those good self- esteem -feelings ourselves.
    Make sense?

    Reply
  7. Patty

    Kudos Beverly, great advice. I’ve seen sooooo many women, especially widows or women over the age of 40, fall for anything a man tells them because they are lonely and afraid of being alone. So they suck up to every compliment without taking into consideration what the motive is for the compliment in the first place. Maybe if they follow this site they will stop and think the next time before giving up whatever it is they are being “guided” into doing. Keep up the good work. Too many gals are “asleep at the wheel” when it comes to common sense. lol

    Reply

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