A Few Good Men

This is a tribute to the guys who try. The guys who do the work, have done the work, have integrity and speak the truth. This is a tribute to men who overcome their fears and CHOOSE to be open, kind, honest and sharing, even though it’s the hard thing to do. This is a tribute to the ones who are courageous, and who don’t hide behind excuses, complacency, fear and attitude. This is a tribute to the ones who get up and choose to do the right thing most of the time; the men who are honest with themselves and honest with others.

This goes out to the men who care, who had to learn to show their feelings, even when it felt awkward and weak to them. This is about the man who comes home to his woman by choice, the guy who doesn’t mess around on his wife or girlfriend, the one who doesn’t believe the grass is greener, who doesn’t spend the vast majority of his time finding faults with the woman he is with so that he can justify his own crap. This is about the guy who does not humiliate his partner by hitting on others in front of her and feigning lack of knowledge or awareness. This is to the ones who are aware of themselves and aware of how their actions, words, thoughts and feelings affect the ones they love.

This is a tribute to the guy who chooses to learn and become a better man, instead of sticking his head in the sand, pretending that he is “fine,” silencing his issues and thinking that asking another for help means he is less of a man. I am applauding the guy who recognizes that it isn’t always about him, who chooses to share himself, his time and “stuff” with the ones he loves and cares for. This is to the great fathers, uncles, cousins, sons, brothers, boyfriends and husbands. This is to the guy who doesn’t need a trophy by his side to make himself feel better. This is about the man who knows who he is and stands firmly in that, and those who at least strive to get there, should he not be there yet.

This is to the guys who send a great big NO to all the players and weak-minded boys who hurt the ones who try to love them and make their partners feel bad for being all the things they are not; for blaming the ones who love them to justify their selfishness and bad behaviors. This is for the men who prove to us that the movies are real, that there is romance, love, integrity, honesty and strength in a man, and that he will be there when we need him and keep his vow of loving us for better or worse, fat and thin, young and old, sickness and health – because he cherishes our heart, values our mind and friendship and respects and loves us the same way he respects and loves himself. This is for the men who always want the best for us and gently nudge us to be just that, without making us feel inferior.

I salute you, great husbands and partners of the world, for not having become what society teaches you to be. For having overcome the role of an asshole that is so easily bestowed on you and for not retreating into your shell because your mother was a bitch, your father didn’t care, you got teased in school, or were otherwise marked by the wrong role models. May all you single women, or gay men be blessed with finding one of the good ones, and may you have the strength to dump, or never settle for one of the posers!

12 thoughts on “A Few Good Men

  1. Carmen Hexe

    Hello Verbena! Well, I already attempted to tell people how they can attract said man. However, that is a whole new ballgame and this is where all you wonderful psychics come in 😀

  2. Coreen Trost

    Wonderful post! You just described exactly what I’m looking for and why I’m not going to ‘settle’ ever again. I don’t have to, because there are ‘Good Men’ still out there. Thank you for the reminder!!! HUGS!!

  3. Carmen

    Hi! *waves at Gina Rose* Was wondering what happened to you 🙂

    @Jai – Yes, I’ve heard people say that this blog brought tears to their eyes and that they are going to share it with their husband and father 🙂 My husband is also “one of them.” I originally wrote this two weeks after we got married.

  4. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Carmen,
    I’m a little late on account of pc problems…..( mine fried Thursday evening due to lightning )…….But I enjoyed catching up and, you know, I always enjoy reading your articles. This one, in particular, made me smile……yes, there are still great guys out there.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  5. Jai Krishna PonnappanJai Krishna

    Really well put Carmen. You’ve summed up the most key issues when it comes to doing the right thing, about taking ownership and moral responsibility. At the end of the day it’s not that hard for men to live with integrity and take a genuine step towards loving unconditionally. It’s only If they choose to put aside the distractions, stereotypes, insecurities, selfishness and self consciousness that social conditioning teaches them. You have to make a genuine attempt to get in touch with your heart, to do the right thing and to learn to love without expectations. Love is not just an act of service and duty; it’s an act of devotion and commitment through thick and thin, come rain, hale or sunshine. As a young man I’ve been fortunate enough to be on the learning curve as I’ve had the opportunity to learn from my father, my uncles and my brothers, who’ve all been very loyal and devoted to their partners and children. We’re only human and not everybody is perfect. But to be honest to a fault and grow to love perfectly, the goodness we recognize in others just goes to show the inner strength, resilience and integrity that’s the hallmark of an honorable soul. I think most men need to print out and read this article as a check list among the others that you’ve posted on a regular basis just to remind them of where they stand. Thank you for all the good work.

    – Jai 🙂

  6. Carmen

    Well, I didn’t write this with the Budweiser guys in mind, haha.

    And yes, there are good people everywhere. But guys take the heat a lot for being players and cheaters, etc. And when we look at the current news, we see the guys who screw up more than the women 😉

  7. misskrystal

    It is so true! But not just men, there are great people out there, no matter where you live! Not everyone is a jerk 🙂 come on….It takes all kinds.
    It is so important to remember this. Thanks, Carmen.
    God Bless you,
    Miss Krystal

  8. RairenRairen

    I… can’t… stop laughing. Brilliant! 😀

    (I keep hearing the Budwiser “Real Men of Genius” commercial salute music playing in the background as I read this.)


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