3 Ways to Learn to Love Yourself

Look Beyond Your Flaws

We all want to love and be loved. Everyone has heard the expression, “You’ve got to love yourself first before anyone else can love you.” Although we all know this, we don’t really understand what this means. Sure it sounds good but how do we love ourselves when we feel lost, confused, no good, ugly or unworthy?

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In romantic relationships we seek tenderness, support, and connection. Relationships make us feel plugged into something greater. And of course sex is pleasurable—an escape from the mundane—but it also is an act of creation. This act of creation is often the closest any of us get to feeling our raw humanness and also our connection to nature and the universe. It makes us feel whole—even if it is for a brief moment. And when we feel broken that feeling is very powerful and addictive.

But what if you could feel connected, centered and whole unto yourself without anyone else? The good news is you can. Loving yourself is not as hard or as esoteric as it may seem. It requires putting into place just a few routines every day that give loving energy back to you. There are three primary ways to build your self-esteem, inner peace and connection to the universe and they are super simple.

1. Express Gratitude
In whatever way you prefer—through prayer, journaling or just proclaiming aloud, tell the universe what you are grateful for. And think about the people who do nice things for you every day. It could be the stranger who held the elevator for you or your barista who always has your precious cup of coffee ready in the morning. Make sure you show them gratitude for all they do for you. You have so much to be grateful for and once your recognize it, you will start to feel more blessed and loved.

2. Stop Nagging Yourself
Do you constantly nag yourself about your weight or your flaws? Stop it, because you are perfect. You are exactly where you need to be right now, so own every inch of yourself and every flaw you think you have. But if you really do need to change, know that it’s easier to take better care of yourself and change your lifestyle when you love yourself and feel good, so work on loving yourself first. Tearing yourself down with only reinforce the negative view you have of yourself.

3. Treat Yourself
Do something just for you. It doesn’t matter what it is or how much it costs as long as it contributes to your total well-being. It could be a massage or taking an hour out of your day to write in your journal. I personally think creative hobbies are the most nourishing to the soul, but people also enjoy sports because they clear the head and release endorphins. If you love being out in nature, take a walk. Whatever time you can spare should be devoted to self-care. It will feed you.

Loving yourself starts with reminding yourself, every day, of all your gifts. It has nothing to do with how you look, and your flaws or imperfections don’t determine whether you are a good person or not. You are eternal, beautiful and intelligent, and you deserve grace and love. You were made for it.

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