The romance is over. You’re about to break down but you find yourself deconstructing what happened with a litany of blow-cushioning reasons that seem to take the sting out of truth about why you broke up. Or perhaps the confidant you are sharing your grief with, is trying to lighten the load for you by suggesting that it was all their fault… or that your ex is just plain old crazy.
“They just can’t take how much love I have to give.”
“There is something wrong with them or else they would have wanted to stay.”
“If we met at a different time/place/bar we would have worked out.”
“It’s their daddy/mommy issues ruining their love lives.”
“I’m a dog person, they’re a cat person – it was doomed…. “
If you’ve ever tried to lighten up the full-blown heartbreak of a serious breakup with disarming “stories” like these, you’re probably very aware that in the end you’ll eventually have to come clean with yourself. Sidetracking your belief system with one of these convoluted little gems won’t help you get to the closure you need, to learn the lessons necessary to move on to the next relationship on your path to true love, without repeating the same old mistakes.
So, let’s bite down on the real reason you broke up so you can leave the stories behind and get through to some healing.
Not meant to be
Yep. If you have to read it again – go for it. The universe wants us to find a great partner. We are attracted to the exact right person to learn the exact right thing at the exact right time. And sometimes that lesson comes to an end when we least expect it. But what it means is – you’re done here. You have learned what you were supposed to and hopefully had some great times going through the exercises. It’s painful now and the ego will wage war with accepting it, but this is the reason it has come to an end.
It’s time to let them go
As soon as you can feel even a little bit of surrender grab a hold of it and start the process of giving them back to the universe. A mantra can really help. As soon as they come to mind say to yourself, “Universe I release this person to you and wish them health and happiness.” You are returning the person back to where they came. It’s like a Netflix list. You send one back and a new one starts their journey to you. So just as soon as you can, tell the debate in your head to quiet down, you have a mantra to repeat so that you can let them go.
Open your heart
You thought they were the “one” but it turned out they were just the “one for right now.” Every relationship we have is a gift so be grateful because another one is soon to arrive. You have to look ahead to what the universe is bringing you rather than look back at what you wish you had. So if you find yourself in a self-pity reflection pond, dry off and think about the good things you have in your life and have faith that if what you really want is a great relationship, that one is on its way to you. If you focus on what’s coming, pretty soon it will arrive.
Look, the pain of losing romantic love has launched ships, built sculptures and created possibly every other rock song ever written. It’s a big energy and it’s okay if it takes you over – for a short time. And the pain will go through you if you let down your guard and walk right into it. It’s not rejection – it’s redirection. Surrender to the change and let the universe move you along in your search for true love.
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