What’s He Really Saying?

Good communication is vital to every successful relationship, but part of that process is often learning “manspeak,” so that you can decipher what he’s really saying. Whatever his motivation for using this cryptic communication – avoiding a conflict, fishing for clues from you before he makes himself vulnerable, trying to avoid hurting your feelings, or just hoping you’ll read in between the lines – you’ll invariably have to deal with this guy code sooner or later. Learning how to crack this code will save you precious time, and minimize confusion and heartache in your relationship. While this list is by no means exhaustive, it does cover many of the coded messages that men often use.

When he says: “We should do something sometime.”

…he really means: “I want to ask you out, but I don’t want to feel rejected if you say no.”

When he says: “Do you think we can still be friends?”

he really means: “I’m not really attracted to you, but I think you’re cool and would like to hang out as buddies.”

When he says: “Maybe we should take a break and see other people.”

…he really means: “There’s someone else I’m interested in and I want to feel free to test the waters.”

When he says: “It would be great to date you, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

…he really means: “I’m not interested in sleeping with you, but I think you’re a great person and I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

When he says: “That’s an interesting outfit.”

…he really means: “Whatever that is you’re wearing, you should go change immediately.”

When he says: “Come hang out at ___. I’ll be hanging out with my friends.”

…he really means: “Sure we can hang out, but I want to make sure you don’t think of this as a date.”

When he says: “It’s fine.”

…he really means: “I’m actually not OK with it, but I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

When he says: “Let’s not jump into anything just yet and see how things go.”

he really means: “I’m interested in you, but I still want to see other people right now.”

When he says: “You’re too good for me.”

…he really means: “I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.”

When he says: “Oh, her? She’s just an old friend.”

…he really means: “We have probably either had sex or dated at some point but it’s not relevant to you and therefore none of your business.”

When he says: “It’s not you, it’s me.”

…he really means: “This relationship is not working for me, and if I take the blame then I don’t have to hurt your feelings by listing the reasons why I’m not interested in you anymore.”

When he says: “I’ll get to it in a minute”

…he really means: “I’ll get to it when I feel like it, not when you think I should.”

When he says: “Guys are always checking you out, I must be a lucky guy.”

…he really means: “I’m feeling self-conscious from all the attention you are getting and need reassurance that you are happy with me and not interested in any of these guys who are flirting with you.”

When he says: “You and that guy seem like good friends.”

…he really means: “Did you guys ever date?”

When he says: “We are planning our divorce, but due to financial reasons we are still living together.”

…he really means: “I’m too afraid to leave her – I want to be with both of you for as long as I can stretch it.”

What are your favorite examples of manspeak?

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6 thoughts on “What’s He Really Saying?

  1. Pingback: What is He Feeling? | California Psychics Blog

  2. ivyx5198

    Hey Ladies;) I always say in relationship you need to learn to speak the other person’s language. We were not raised the same. Some of us aren’t very great at comminicating. This was a fun way to look at it. Thank you for your article.
    Namaste, Ivy oxox

  3. velvetoversteel

    Alina, you nailed many of these ‘coded messages’ & yes they were funny but oh so true! 🙂

    I really liked all 3 of the previous comments too from Gina Rose, Corrine & Tena gave some great tips also!

    Good and easy to understande or ‘decoded’ post! 🙂

    Blessings and Hugs to you all!

    Coreen @ VOS

  4. Tena Dunne

    I have been telling my girlsfriends this about men for years and this is why I have so many men friends, because i do understand them, but there is more. try to find out if your guy is a visual, auditory or feelings man. if you are having a conversation and he says it sounds like a good idea, then he is ruled by the audirory (how things sounds) if he responds to something by saying it looks good, then he is visual (how things look) and finally if he responds by saying he likes something or has a good feeling or vibe then he is affected by (emotions or feelings). he will express one of these three things when he talks and once you know his love language, you use it to respond, he will be more in tune with you and feel like you understand him and can relate to him and what he’s talking about. Try it, this could turn things around for you, if you apply this in your relationships with all men. Good luck ladies. http://www.myspace.com/steamyhotlatin

  5. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Alina,

    Another great article…but this one was funny…..true, but funny at the same time.

    Yes, most men do have a guy-code way of articulation……usually what they have learned from role models such as father figures growing up.

    I find myself translating the other person’s words and what they really meant in many of my readings.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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