I believe in attraction at first sight. I believe in like, and in lust, at first sight. But do I believe in love at first sight?
Nope. Here’s why.
Like life, there’s really no accurate definition of love. It’s a level of feeling you have towards another person, but only you are going to identify it by measuring your emotions. If humans were more like dashboards, we might have a meter on hearts that blink red when we’re in love, but alas, we do not. We are responsible for our own definitions of love.
But we can get close to a universal definition by agreeing on a few things about love. One is that it is supremely sacred and important to us –- a connection that most of us will use to determine the majority of our lives by pairing us with a significant other.
If love is so important to us, we need to elevate our definitions of it above the spontaneous feelings of attraction, familiarity, and desire that sometimes combine when you first look a new person in the eyes and you skip a breath.
The human body has all sorts of great tricks to ensure that our species doesn’t stop reproducing, and one of them is this very phenomena –- being emotionally attracted to a new person when something in their demeanor responds to what you long for. Is it fair to call this love? No. In fact, it only cheapens our meaning of it.
Real love needs to be proven to you by the other person, and most importantly, by yourself. Real love needs to come from knowing another person, their knowing you, and in finding that your feelings for them increase and maintain when you have the full picture –- not just that first impression.
So while I enjoy the head rush that accompanies a first meeting with someone that I’d rather be waking up next to than be sleeping with, I refuse to mistake it for love. That sort of myth-making is comforting, but it also allows you to enter a relationship under false pretenses, obscuring your chances of knowing if you have real love, or just love at first sight.
What do you think, readers? Care to prove me wrong by sharing your own experiences with love at first sight?