Bands sing about it, others chant for it, some cry about it – and we’ve all dreamt about it. Hitting the road of life in an effort to find the right pea to join you in your pod can be a daunting and dizzying task.
Could it be that the root of the problem lies in the search itself? Like many things in life, you have to figure out what you’re after before you can go for it. If you’re even the slightest bit fuzzy about it, you’ll have a hard time finding that needle in the haystack. So start by visualizing what you want.
On a clear day
Visualize what they look like – how do you engage with them? What common traits and interests are of importance, and what can you live with? What are you unable to live without? Once you can see the loose shape of the type of person you are looking for, then you need to get more granular. Detail all of those physical, mental, and philosophical traits that are important to you – and why. Let’s say you want someone who is sharp-witted and comical – with great hair. If you simply toss those thoughts out into the universe without knowing the driving forces behind those desires, it’s likely that your needs will not be grounded in reality.
If you’re unable to articulate why something is important, pitch it to the side. Why erect a potential barrier to get in the way of happiness? By capturing and substantiating your list, you’ve set a conscious intention and are channeling energy into it, thus making it concrete as opposed to abstract. It will also help you recognize what you’re looking for… so that when it bumps into you at the supermarket, you’ll know who just hit you.
Setting clear intentions early on is an important step towards fulfillment. Are you looking to enrich an already-satisfying life, or hoping to fill a gap? Do you want to explore and grow as a person, or are you trying to “band-aid” something that is not working within? Is your mission to run to someone, or are you sprinting away from something? Sometimes we aren’t successful in obtaining what we want, because past baggage is getting in the way. If you’re not happy with yourself on the inside or out, it’s common to reach beyond yourself in hopes that someone else can help get you there. The problem is that you’ve already got an invisible barrier standing in your way.
If you have been searching to no avail, it might be time to knock down some of your inner walls. By dealing with lingering issues and clearing your plate, you’re putting yourself in a better position for receiving what you want. If you’re looking for someone to sweep you away from your problems, whisk you out of financial ruin or pluck you out of a dysfunctional relationship, your eyes are darting in all the wrong directions – which means they won’t be focused forward, on finding the true essence of what you’re looking for.
All hail wiggle room
“Eyes wide open” is an important state to channel as you begin to encounter people and situations on your journey. Be careful not to be so stringent in your requirements that you miss out on possibilities due to minor technical details. And if you’ve been rummaging for a long time with less-than-desirable results, it can be all too easy to get more lenient in your approach, settling for things that aren’t your ideal. It’s a slippery slope to slide down, because if you begin to loosen up your ideals too much, you could wind up receiving what you thought you wanted – only to discover you’re not content with the “relaxed” version of your ideal.
And for those who’ve had a tendency to lose interest in something once you’ve attained it (chasers beware!), guard against that urge. While the thrill of the chase can be exhilarating, the most exciting state of all can be finding true peace and harmony in what you want out of your life – and who you choose to spend it with.
If you’re clear about your desires, your intentions are in the right place – and you are open to the process and the ever-changing aspects of life – trust that when all of your stars align you will find exactly what you’re looking for. And you will be ready to enjoy it!
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