Your Soulmate Cheated. Now What?

When Your Soulmate Goes Wrong!

When a soulmate cheats, it may feel as if the world has been pulled out from under your feet. There are two types of cheating soulmates: the soulmate who cheats and regrets their actions and the soulmate who cheats and has little remorse, if any. Some people let their partners get away with cheating, because they believe they are destined to be together. But if you expect more from your partner, and have discovered they’ve cheated on you, you will need to answer the following questions:

Which Kind of Soulmate Do You Have?

Aristotle described three types of soulmates you would likely run into within your lifetime. A soulmate of pleasure is your kindred spirit in all things that feel great to the body, including sex, power and ego. A soulmate of utility is one whose amenities (either physical or monetary) allow your soul to accomplish certain personal goals. This might include attaining status, power, items of luxury, or self actualization. These partners may make you feel good, but only on the surface.

The third type of soulmate is the ultimate soulmate and they are the one of shared virtue. “Whatsoever that be within us that feels, thinks, desires and animates,” wrote Aristotle, “is something celestial, divine, and, consequently, imperishable.” Rather than riding on your partner’s coattails to fulfill certain desires, you nurture each other’s insight and growth. You become better people having found each other, and while everything may not be perfect, you find a way to make it work, because you are both invested in each other.

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How can such a beautiful description of a virtue soulmate excuse a partner for cheating. Well, it can’t. However, we do know that there are certain partners who are easier to trust than others.

Is There Hope of Reconciliation?

A true soulmate will make mistakes. Just because they fit with you in most every way does not mean they are incapable of making bad judgments. If you’ve found your virtue soulmate and they’ve cheated on you, they’ve done so because they failed to recognize you as their soulmate too. In other words, they may have thought that soulmate relationships are perfect, and since yours isn’t, they sought out additional company to fill in the gaps. And by the time they figured out that even soulmate relationships are imperfect, the damage had already been done.

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Virtue soulmates can also be guilty of an unplanned accident. Perhaps a night of drinking left them weak and vulnerable, and they wound up doing something they will always regret. Other virtue soulmates tell themselves that they are being neglected (emotionally, sexually, etc.), and blame their partner for their loneliness. They justify an affair because of these wrongs. Some virtue soulmates are also immature and need time to grow out of their selfishness or a sexual addiction. The good news is that reconciliation with a straying partner is possible.

However, there is little hope for reconciliation if your partner is a narcissistic jerk or sociopath. These are the partners who are feeding off pleasure and utility, and may never feel remorse for their actions, and will likely cheat again.

Can You Forgive Them?

The success of your continued relationship may rely more on your own feelings, than those of your partner. To help with this decision, there are a few things you’ll want to consider. One, almost every soulmate union is subject to the possibility of temptation and cheating. The difference is how you communicate and integrate your life around each other. Two, cheating does not always occur with a partner who is unhappy or no longer loves you. Finally, in the case of a virtue soulmate, reconciliation can result in a relationship that is even stronger and more committed than it was prior to the affair.

However, no amount of regret or remorse can overcome the negative energy created by a cheating partner if you can never forgive them. This is why it is so important to ask yourself if you can forgive them, and then answer as honestly as you can.

What have been your own experiences with a partner who has cheated on you?

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6 thoughts on “Your Soulmate Cheated. Now What?

  1. Julia

    My husband said he was my donate but behind my back for 13 1%2 years he sexted girls as young as 18.even had an online very graphic affair with his own cousin then eventually slept with a 20 year old meth ho

    Reply
  2. Remorseful Alien

    Eric. I left Sweden after I discovered that my partner of 18 months had for a second time, cheated with a woman physically and emotionally for 5 months, immediately after I caught out his first sexual affair. We had reunited in Sweden after he had promised he was a changed man. During my month there, he abused alcohol again several times and his rotten words to me ‘fat, pathetic, loser, woman’ returned. I felt scared. I smashed his phone from which I had discovered the secret relationship. I tried to leave with a friend. He pleaded that I stay. I stayed. We planned to leave Sweden to California, where I would like to see Yosemite with him away from the pain, and look for a house for myself. When he understood that I was to relocate, not just a holiday, he told me the evening before our flight that he was not going. I left alone. We embraced at the train to Copenhagen Airport. For the first few days of life in Los Angeles, I spoke about the incidents to new friends, and they told me to leave him. I made that decision as we spoke on Skype. I accepted to go to dinner with ‘Charde Bambino’ in LA on April 3. That is the evening that I met my ultimate soul mate. Over the next few weeks my communication replies to Ex continued. He cried, he left crying video messages for me, he pleaded that I note leave him for someone else. He told me that he had enlisted to Rehab and that his mother had just been diagnosed with cancer and had 3 months to live. 18 months earlier, his father had passed with cancer. I felt pity, sorrow, and to calm him I told him that he was the only one. That I had not gone on more dates. That I was single. That he was imagining silly things. I sent him photos. I sent him hugs and kisses. I sent him a super long description of ‘out life’ hypothetical in LA, two weeks after meeting Charde Bambino. After just 3 weeks of now seeing Charde, in what was an immediate connection, I was evicted from my LA studio because the tenant had let to me wrongly, and I moved in with Charde, despite his early hesitance. We have lived together for nearly 6 months. All this time, I have communicated with Ex. On and off. Ending messages with kisses. Planning to meet in Europe for vacation. I have at times tried to end it. To forget him. To leave him to his own life. And he pleaded. When Charde Bambino would have rash anger about 3 different situations, to the point of ‘it’s over’ or ‘you mean as much to me as that Chair you sit in’, I began to fear that he might not love me. I began to believe the sentiments of my Ex. My conversations of hope and a future with Ex became elaborate. Although I never met him again, and I asked that Charge come to Europe with me for my ESTA renewal, and I had tried to make business meetings in Europe instead… Two days ago my Ex asked my address – I told him a neighbouring address. He then proceeded to tell me he knew I was living with ‘Charde Bambino’ and proceeded to contact him on Messenger. He sent him all our correspondence. I walked. Then I returned and packed my belongings. I was so disgusted at myself that I could not cry, not have I cried or eaten in 3 days. I am not hungry. I have no tears. I have rotten guilt and sin inside me. I wrote to Charde Bambino, the only email I thought I ever would construct to him again – his reply was ‘I already forgave you. I wish never to hear from you again.’ We knew that we were to meet. We knew each other from a lifetime ago. We were compatible in every way. We both had made mistakes in our past. He had reformed and after 6 years of sobriety become the most beautiful, honest and intimate being that I have ever met. The words I wrote to my Ex are to me, unforgivable, and I thank God that Charde had the power to forgive. I want to know, is it possible that we can tear up a relationship with our Soul Mate, the ultimate Soul Mate? Or does this mean that we were never truly Soul Mates? And if it is that we can destroy a relationship with a Soul Mate infinitely, is it likely that we will ever meet a Soul Mate again? From my understanding is that an ultimate Soul Mate is somebody that we may be fortunate to meet in this lifetime, chances are slim, but they are the other half to complete you with an innate sensitivity, psychic, intimate affection and capable to love always.

    Reply
    1. minhadamadameianoite

      Go fuck with his best friend. Or girlfriend, If you know how
      nevertheless your going to suffer.

      Stay positive. He’s Just alone….

      Don’t know too How to save my soul

      Maybe a true soulmate doesnt ” cheat”,if He discovers you. If, you ,and me, are just Soulwhores, or soulwifes, that are to weak to quit

  3. chloeChloe [ext 9421]

    Very interesting article Eric!

    I believe everyone in our lives is a soul mate (i.e., your mother, father, siblings, friends).
    Our romantic soul mates have a profound impact on us and we need to decide for ourselves what the lesson or meaning (of them being in our lives), is for us.

    Do we need to learn how to forgive? Do we need to learn how to let go?The question of soul mates and betrayal is never black and white. Each union is unique.

    Thank you for a wise and honest article!

    Love & Light!

    Psychic Chloe [ext: 9421]

    Reply
    1. amanda rose

      chloe.
      i believe in soulmates.
      i believe i found the best kind.
      we have had our mess ups..
      from 2nd month dating he cheated.
      i cheated back for revenge.
      and it was dumb… but us at the begginnig of the relationship were the same people but wounded. we had trouble letting eachother in too; emotionally…. but we evemtually did. there was his heavy SCARY
      drinking too but he overcame it. i helped him by jist being me. he bettered himself for him and me. … and its like when im at home and hes at work i get these terrible feelingsm come to find out its bc je was sad that day…
      same for me.
      hell be at home ill be at work he feels this deep random depression…
      turns out ii was feelong that way..
      we are connected on so many levels. i should of left him awhile back but i didnt bc our love and connection is that strong amd i couldnt let me give upm couldnt let him give up.. but now he saw a messege i sent to an ex a month ago.

      of naked pics i am ashamed. and we are on the verge of loosing it but we cant…

      he forgave me.. like i have for him.
      i heard with soulmates you always go through at least one very rough patch in your relationship w ur soul mate.
      ours was at the begginning. weve been with eachother for 1 year.
      after hon finding this out i feel our souls well finallybe one..
      the crap storm is over… our soulmate struggle days are over. put our love to the test. passed and we have a big future planned for us

      what do u think

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