When Your Soulmate Goes Wrong!
When a soulmate cheats, it may feel as if the world has been pulled out from under your feet. There are two types of cheating soulmates: the soulmate who cheats and regrets their actions and the soulmate who cheats and has little remorse, if any. Some people let their partners get away with cheating, because they believe they are destined to be together. But if you expect more from your partner, and have discovered they’ve cheated on you, you will need to answer the following questions:
Which Kind of Soulmate Do You Have?
Aristotle described three types of soulmates you would likely run into within your lifetime. A soulmate of pleasure is your kindred spirit in all things that feel great to the body, including sex, power and ego. A soulmate of utility is one whose amenities (either physical or monetary) allow your soul to accomplish certain personal goals. This might include attaining status, power, items of luxury, or self actualization. These partners may make you feel good, but only on the surface.
The third type of soulmate is the ultimate soulmate and they are the one of shared virtue. “Whatsoever that be within us that feels, thinks, desires and animates,” wrote Aristotle, “is something celestial, divine, and, consequently, imperishable.” Rather than riding on your partner’s coattails to fulfill certain desires, you nurture each other’s insight and growth. You become better people having found each other, and while everything may not be perfect, you find a way to make it work, because you are both invested in each other.
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How can such a beautiful description of a virtue soulmate excuse a partner for cheating. Well, it can’t. However, we do know that there are certain partners who are easier to trust than others.
Is There Hope of Reconciliation?
A true soulmate will make mistakes. Just because they fit with you in most every way does not mean they are incapable of making bad judgments. If you’ve found your virtue soulmate and they’ve cheated on you, they’ve done so because they failed to recognize you as their soulmate too. In other words, they may have thought that soulmate relationships are perfect, and since yours isn’t, they sought out additional company to fill in the gaps. And by the time they figured out that even soulmate relationships are imperfect, the damage had already been done.
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Virtue soulmates can also be guilty of an unplanned accident. Perhaps a night of drinking left them weak and vulnerable, and they wound up doing something they will always regret. Other virtue soulmates tell themselves that they are being neglected (emotionally, sexually, etc.), and blame their partner for their loneliness. They justify an affair because of these wrongs. Some virtue soulmates are also immature and need time to grow out of their selfishness or a sexual addiction. The good news is that reconciliation with a straying partner is possible.
However, there is little hope for reconciliation if your partner is a narcissistic jerk or sociopath. These are the partners who are feeding off pleasure and utility, and may never feel remorse for their actions, and will likely cheat again.
Can You Forgive Them?
The success of your continued relationship may rely more on your own feelings, than those of your partner. To help with this decision, there are a few things you’ll want to consider. One, almost every soulmate union is subject to the possibility of temptation and cheating. The difference is how you communicate and integrate your life around each other. Two, cheating does not always occur with a partner who is unhappy or no longer loves you. Finally, in the case of a virtue soulmate, reconciliation can result in a relationship that is even stronger and more committed than it was prior to the affair.
However, no amount of regret or remorse can overcome the negative energy created by a cheating partner if you can never forgive them. This is why it is so important to ask yourself if you can forgive them, and then answer as honestly as you can.
What have been your own experiences with a partner who has cheated on you?
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