Are You Engaging in Online Flirting Behind Your Partner’s Back?
The world is full of people who engage in harmless online flirting. But the people who think it’s harmless are they people who are doing it! Online flirting is intriguing and more than a little exciting—especially when it’s done behind someone else’s back. The people who do it tell themselves it’s harmless. But is it really harmless, especially if it’s done in secret? Is it ever justified? What if their partners aren’t fulfilling their needs and that’s why they’ve turned to online flirting? There are a lot of things to consider.
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Tending to Each Other’s Needs
If their partner isn’t tending to their needs, they should ask themselves is they’re attending to their partner’s needs. Relationships are one of the true cause and effect situations in life. This means that a person pretty much get out of them exactly what they put into them. If someone engages in online flirting because they aren’t getting what they want in their relationship, there’s a good chance they’re also not giving their partner what they want either.
Most surveys suggest that people engaged in online flirting blame their partners for their actions. They have been driven to the Internet because they feel neglected by their partners and are waiting for their partners to fix things. There are really only two options for a couple in this situation: Both people need to make an effort to make things better, or they need to go their separate ways.
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Testing the Waters
But isn’t that what Online flirting is really all about? They’re putting their line in the water to see what kind of nibbles they’d get if they were single. This thinking is flawed though. The person engaged in online flirting is actually engaging in fantasy, not reality. This is not a real relationship. There are no obligations and responsibilities. And the person they’ve been talking to could be lying about who they are and what they look like.
Flirting online can lead to partner bashing. And of course the person an online flirt is talking too is more than willing to lend an ear and a virtual shoulder to cry on. But they aren’t there to make the other person’s relationship better. They’re there to cause a rift and add a little excitement to their life at the expense of someone else’s happiness.
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The energy an online flirt should be putting into their real-life relationship is being invested in an online fantasy relationship. It weakens their partnership and robs energy from their relationship. How can it not? They’re taking the fun times they should be having with their partner and giving it someone else.
What Can You Do?
Recognize that there is no such thing as harmless online flirting. Almost every divorce has started with harmless flirting (cheating), and ended with the reality of cause and effect. It is you who is responsible for your happiness. You have the power to make or break the success of your relationships, and it involves action over reaction, and taking that action before hard feelings set in. Get back into your relationship, regain curiosity in your partner and remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place.
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Harmless flirting is not a band-aid to “help you get through bad times.” If you really feel that your relationship is over, don’t bother testing the waters online, because you really can’t experience a different or new life from the vantage point of a computer or smart device. Have the courage to end things properly, and realize that finding happiness is a lot more complicated than discovering it while living in virtual exile with an online stranger.