How to Spot Control Freaks

Certain, select Zodiac signs automatically get a bad rap for being control freaks and you know who you are: Virgos, Scorpios, Leos. I’ve even experienced some controlling Cancers, depending on their ascendant. We usually don’t consult our beloved’s chart prior to falling in love. The question is what to do with that information and how best to work with what you have.

If you’re lucky, you and your partner will have compatible signs with complimentary ascendants but what if you’re not so lucky? What if, as a staunch Taurus, you fall in love with a fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants Gemini? Or, as a fiery Leo, find yourself head-over-heels with a watery Pisces? Just because your match might not look great on paper doesn’t mean all is lost.

Back in my dating days, I would run a simple chart of sun, moon, & rising signs and compare it to my own. Starting with the sun sign, I’d check it against my man in question. If that was no good (ie, my Gemini and his Scorpio), I’d move to our rising signs (Ah, yes, a rising Gemini in said Scorpio would work!) and so on to see what kind of “cross compatibility” we had. The purpose was to find the points of compatibility and work with the similarities.

Usually a control-freak Virgo (earth) can find common ground with a Libra who has a rising Taurus (also earth). Or a Sagittarius (fire) can probably find bliss with an Aquarius with a Leo rising (also fire) and so on. I’m no mathematician but you’ll definitely have a better chance “cross pollinating” your chart that way.

But what if you’ve done your homework and you’re still encountering control issues in your relationship? The signs of the zodiac are broken into 4 main groups: fire, earth, air, and water and each has its own dominant sense and accompanying communication style.

Air signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) are intellectual and do well with spoken communication.

Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) are physical and benefit from touch.

Fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius) are mental and do well with action.

Water signs (Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio) are emotional and benefit from non-verbal communication.

Armed with this information, understanding your partner will become infinitely easier and probably explain a lot of habits and behaviors. Not only will you have insight into the behaviors that might make you cringe but you’ll have a better handle on how to deal with conflict.

Normally control freaks can’t help themselves and their intentions may be more habit than anything. If your fire-sign Sagittarius is itching to plan out the weekend, it won’t be a surprise. You’ll recognize the inclination those dear fire signs have and probably be better prepared to join in the planning. Let’s say your social butterfly Libra wants to drag you to a party, you’ll understand the air sign’s tendency and be more apt to join in on the fun.

Being proactive is helpful but what if you weren’t able to think ahead and are now in the dog house? What if you weren’t able to spot the tendency of your significant other in time? Using the same principles, making up (and future gift giving) are easier than ever. Treat your miffed Capricorn to a massage or take your annoyed Cancer out to see an emotional movie. Appealing to your mate’s communication style allows you to speak the same language, restoring domestic bliss again.

It’s also worth noting that, depending where the planets are, sometimes you might notice your mate acting more along the lines of their rising sign as compared to their sun sign. It’s always a good idea to take a look at your mate’s dominant personality traits of the day. If your spouse is a Cancer (water) and acting more like their Aquarius (air) self, you can tailor your communication accordingly.

These insights are a great way to understand your partner and reframe the tendencies that might be misconstrued as “control freak.” Sometimes it’s a simply a matter of shifting perspective and enabling you both to see eye-to-eye. And when you’re eye-to-eye, the playing field is level and life is good!

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