Coveting Your Friend’s Spouse

Once you get to a certain place in your life and career, and you’re still single, it’s likely that you’re surrounded by married people. And chances are, some of them are pretty attractive. Familiarity doesn’t always breed contempt. It can breed fantasies, too. And if you have a personality that likes risk, adrenaline or a challenge, you could get caught in the trap of crushing on someone who belongs to someone else. Like to gamble? Go to Vegas. Wanna be in a great relationship? Step away from breaking the tenth commandment.

So, if you’re getting hot and bothered by the spouse next door, here are 3 ways to leap out of the fire and get back to your senses!

Attracted to the married or the marriage?
If you would like to be in a committed loving relationship of your own, it can be a crazy turn on to hear married people talk about their partners with affection and humor. It’s a club they’re in and you’re not. Chances are, you see the spouse at work or at the gym or someplace they are sans-partner. They’re vibrant and alive, confident and successful. Well, guess what? That confidence is because they have a supportive partner. You’re attracted to the truth that a healthy relationship is well, hot. Take that as a huge plus for you. Attraction is direction. Be inspired by that vibe and say, “bring it on universe! I want my own hot marriage!”

Don’t fool with karma
Ask anyone who started a relationship with a married person and here are just a few things you’ll hear, “He’s only staying for the kids.” Or “She only married him because he was young.” And of course, “They don’t even sleep in the same bed.” Uh huh. Right. These are just some of the many lies you’ll be swallowing as the relationship continues. And it will, because what do they have to lose being with you? Nothing. What do you have to lose? Precious time you could be spending in search of an available partner. Not convinced? Let’s play out the scenario – eventually, you do get married. And guess what? They have practice deceiving the person they live with. They have practice hiding a sexual relationship. They have practice not being there for the partner they committed to. Your ego will tell you, they’ll be different for me. Ask yourself, how many times has your ego led you to peace and serenity?

Get hold of yourself
Flirting? Cut it out. Sexting on the phone? Cut it out. Sexually joking? Cut it out. Self-esteem comes from estimable action. And if you’re already sleeping with Mr. or Mrs. Belongs-to-Someone-Else, you’ve only got one conversation left to have, the one where you say, “it’s me, not you.” Because it is for you. Your already-partnered paramour is going to move on to someone else whose self worth equals theirs. You are going to detox from the rush of a dirty secret — which isn’t going to be easy, but you’re going to do it, because you know deep down inside that it sucks to be with someone who is married. Take some help from the universe. Write this on a piece of paper and look at it every single time you think of this person.

Remove ____ from my heart in every way so that I can be available for a great love that is available for me.

Nothing changes without action, which means it’s time to get moving! Tests come, lessons are learned and greater things come into your life. You can stay “learning” as long as you want, but class doesn’t end until you get it. So, let yourself out for recess. Go out into the world and play with the people who want love as much as you do. Someone has just learned what they had to learn in order to be your perfect partner. Don’t leave them waiting, rush into their arms!

Have you experienced spousal envy? Did you act on it? Join the conversation now and find out what our psychics say!

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