Are They Ghosting You?

Ghosting is an Avoidance Technique

According to Huffington Post polls, ghosting affects at least one in 10 people. And considering the growth of social media and technology, the likelihood of it affecting you is on the rise. If you’ve never heard of this dating disaster, it occurs when someone in the early stages of a relationship disappears without a trace. Now you could always wait around for them to come back, but if you’re not much for wasting your time, here’s how to tell if the one you’re falling for could ghost you:

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The Commitment Phobic

Some people have avoidance personalities. They agree to plans and then cancel at the last minute. These people often fear being alone, but they fear being smothered by commitment even more. Eventually, a commitment phobic person will just disappear. Chances are high that someone who is afraid of commitment will be ghosting you.

The Player

Players enjoy having options, and they pretend to be busy until the very last minute where they are forced to decide who to spend time with. If you’re “lucky,” you might get a midnight booty call followed by some fog. Chances are a player will be ghosting you. Just accept that they are the wrong choice for you and you can’t really change them, so just end it. You have no reason to keep your nights open just because they might call. Get out and live life before these ghosts steal any more time away from you.

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The One Who Never Gets Your Messages

Rather than tell you you’re not a priority or that they’re just not interested, some people blame technology and say they didn’t get your message. They don’t want to tell you the truth, so they make excuses. They just haven’t gotten away from you yet, and that can be hard to do with social media making it fairly easy to find anyone. No matter the excuse, they’re all about ghosting you, so let them cut ties and move on.

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The Hookup

There’s nothing wrong with getting yours, but if you’re trying to turn a hookup into a legitimate relationship, you could get ghosted. Here’s the deal: Sometimes a hookup can become something more if both partners want it to. However, sometimes just one partner wants it, so the other partner will resort to ghosting to keep their distance.

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Getting Left in the Dark

The problem with ghosting is that it leaves one person completely in the dark. You may think it’s easy just to ask the other person what’s going on, but the truth is they really don’t want to tell you. They’ll make excuses, and you don’t have time for that. Better to choose someone who shows interest in you from the start.

5 thoughts on “Are They Ghosting You?


    So let the ghosters be ghost the best thing is ghost are not seen not herd so you don’t hear all their bs nor do you have to listen to their lies so I’ll continue to be the good guy I am and as always when one walks out they just leave the door open for another to walk in and who knows who may walk in next could be the best thing to ever happen to me ,so I’ll keep loving life as long as the good Lord shall let me

  2. Missy

    my gosh you just explained the two men I was married to an the ones I dated after…. I have always felt that I did something wrong and tried to be there for them and not smother them which I felt was the right things to do… now I know they were just simply the wrong guys… well at least you all saved me lots of time in therapy…lol… thanks

  3. Vika K.

    It’s better to feel some unease while telling the truth than to boil long and slowly while trying to hide… I feel pain for “ghosts”…

  4. Dawn 9777

    Good article, and I hear about it a LOT, unfortunately. Frequently people who get ghosted wonder what they’ve done wrong to alienate the other person. The answer is: Nothing. The other person is a coward. I also hear the ghosted person making excuses for the Ghoster. (Yes, I made that word up. ). Such as “Well, I know he’s been super busy at work……” Or “We got along so well, I felt so connected, but I know she said she had a friend coming into town soon…..”. Let me be clear: we live in the age of instant technology. Eric is right, they’re getting your texts. It takes about 15 seconds to hit reply and send a message back. Stop making excuses for your ghoster. If it’s been a few days, a week, no text, email, call or contact of any sort….there’s a 99% chance you’ve been ghosted. Yes it hurts. But you know what feels really good?! Hitting delete on your phone. Like, now.


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