7 Ways to Know You’re Ready to Sleep with Someone

Having sex with someone for the first time is a bigger deal than some people give it credit. Deciding to take a relationship to the next level can sometime be a life changing event. It can create commitment, complications, stir up past fears and sometimes make the next couple weeks more than just ‘a little’ awkward. The reality is that everybody thinks differently about sex, so in order to know whether you are ready or not, you’re going to need to answer seven simple questions.

What’s your Intention?
Hey, it’s a fair question. Some people may just want to get over an ex, some may want to boost the current intimacy in the relationship, and others may be playing the defense to keep someone nearby who appears to be drifting.

Do You Really Know Your Partner?
If this questions makes you pause, it could mean that your ‘partner’ is more of a stranger than your hormones are letting on. And while sex with a stranger may sound amazing and exciting, it also leaves you open for greater disappointment and hurt. Most people’s worst sex stories come from an experience with a stranger, and for good reason. When infatuated with a stranger, your attraction comes from building on their character with traits you prefer – you’re essentially filling in the blanks with stuff you like. But what if those assumptions are incorrect?

What Has Worked (or Not) Before?
People like to try new things in their relationships, but there is really only so much experimentation needed before you start to figure things out. And I understand – it may be very tempting to do whatever your partner seems to want (especially if you really like them), but every relationship needs to maintain compromise or your needs may end up on the shelf if this relationship continues. Your past relationship may have had mistakes, but you can use those to make this one work better.

What Would Your Partner Say About You?
When your thoughts and character end up on the shelf it means they are likely to never be seen, heard or cared about. Sex can either promote security and confidence in a relationship… or vulnerability and insecurity. The only way to know which one you could experience is to not only know yourself and your goals, but to be reasonably confident that your partner knows you – and likes you for it.

Is it Love?
It is important to answer this question because the pleasant chemicals derived from sex can sure make it seem like love, whether it is or not. So by identifying where you are at before having sex, you can set your mind straight before it starts playing tricks on you. It is just too easy to attach to someone through sex and far too difficult to get over the pain of a breakup – not to pay attention to this detail.

Are You on the Same Page?
You could partake in the sex if they are willing and live off the assumption that you both have the same understanding of what it means. And then if it doesn’t work out you could play innocent and say that you didn’t know – but why? A great sexual experience is derived from doing it with a partner you’re in sync with. You should both talk about what you expect out of the relationship, out of the sex, and if it might change the relationship dynamics in some way. Yes, you may end up not having sex if you find out you’re on different paths… but you will also likely have better sex if you are.

Would You Be Ashamed if Anyone Found Out?
This question is to keep you honest, because it is just too easy to lie to yourself, especially if you think that you really want something – like sex. If you have sex with someone that you would be ashamed of friends and family finding out about, it might be because you know they would disapprove. And if you care enough to feel ashamed, it means that you really might be more ashamed of yourself than you are letting on. Most sexual regrets happen ‘after’ the fact, simply because we fail to pay heed to the obvious red flags.

2 thoughts on “7 Ways to Know You’re Ready to Sleep with Someone

  1. JThomas

    JUNE 24th,2016.Re: “HAVING SEX With A New Person/Partner.”
    [Ask Ones’self] !Who are YOU R E A L L Y? FIND YOUR PURPOSE; FIND A MENTOR CIRCLE. ( I’m 71) and, My
    Wisdom has taught Me the minute I stop learning.(I’m Done).Celebrate YOUR SUCCESSES!Big and Small.
    Before a Plane takes off,it Pauses before that final ascension. And Yet [we] as Women go from person 2
    person without P A U S E.

    Reply
  2. JThomas

    Fri.June 24th,2016.
    “One should try and (Organize Your LIFE).We don’t have to do this alone.Order Is the first-Law-of HEAVEN.
    And, we have to have order to Survive here on earth.{SET BOUNDARIES}We Ladies should always reinforce
    up front the respect I expect and will give and the outcome [we]are working toward.
    EVERY relationship is for A REASON;A SEASON; Or A LIFETIME! Have a Talk with GOD. REGULARLY!!

    Reply

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