Relationships can be complex and it may be difficult to tell if someone is “into you.” Discerning if someone was attracted to you previously and now they aren’t, or if they never really had intentions of starting a relationship in the first place can be painful, but also liberating.You don’t want to expend your time and energy in a relationship with someone who keeps you on the bench. So, is he into you? Here are five ways to tell.
- He doesn’t return texts or phone calls in a timely manner
Men who are into you will call or text you back the first available moment that they are able to do so. They want contact with you and they want to be sure to maintain your interest. They also genuinely care about you and they want to make sure that you are ok. It is important to respect their time, schedules and responsibilities… but a man who is into you won’t make you wait long.
- He keeps you hanging about his weekend plans
Men who are into you will want to include you in their life and will call you in advance to schedule time together. You won’t have to force a date or try to figure out what his weekend plans are. He will either let you know what he has planned and try to see you, or he’ll be very clear about why he might not be able to spend time with you that weekend. There are no games or tactics involved when a man is into you; no guessing games.
- He introduces you in vague ways
When a man is not into you he will not call you his “girlfriend.” He may call you a friend, especially at the beginning of a relationship, but if he is still calling you a friend or introducing you in some other vague way after several months of dating then he is probably not that into you. Men who are in love want everyone to know that you are his.
- He keeps you away from his family
After a certain amount of time a man would naturally want to introduce you to his family and start to make you a bigger part of his life. Men who keep you distanced from their families are holding back on the relationship and do not see you as a participant in their home life. This could be a big red flag that it is time to have a conversation about the relationship.
- You only see him for sex
“Friends with benefits” is a type of relationship that many people enjoy. This is fine if both parties are on the same page about it, but it can be very hurtful if one person in the relationship believes that there is more to it than that. There are many times that sex is the only thing that is holding the relationship together. If he is not taking you out or interacting with you in other ways, then it could be possible that he is just into the sex and not as much into you. This can lead to hurtful feelings of low self esteem and confusion.
Women tend to bond deeply when they are intimate and when that is not reciprocated it is confusing and painful. The only way to know for sure if this is the case is to see how he responds when you suggest taking a break, or spending time together doing something else. You may still want to continue the relationship if you are enjoying it, but it is always best to know exactly where you stand so that you can make empowered choices about your needs, options and decisions about your future.
Relationships provide enormous soul growth, but it is always good to be aware of the red flags and pay attention to subtle and not so subtle clues of our partner’s interest level. As Samantha mentions in Sex and the City, the test of a good relationship is noticing if your face is always smiling or frowning when you think of that relationship. We can all feel the relief and freedom that Miranda felt when she embraced the “He’s Just Not That Into You” philosophy because it made it so much easier to identify the men that were worth her time and the men that weren’t.