Demystifying the “Perfect” Relationship
Do happy couples really have perfect relationships? Despite the glimpses we may get into others’ lives, the truth is that we’re often not seeing the whole picture. None of us really know what goes on behind closed doors, and life is rarely fairy-tale perfect. The happy couples we see in life probably are happy, but that doesn’t mean they have perfect relationships. And the happy couples we see in the movies are living out their blissful existence as scripted from someone’s imagination. Here are five myths about happy couples that are absolutely false, and the truth behind the myths.
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Myth #1: Happy Couples Never Fight
This may be true of some couples, but if so, it’s a rarity. Real couples fight. One key to a happy relationship is learning how to fight well—having empathy for a partner’s feelings and point of view, never letting it go too far or last too long, learning how to compromise and sometimes even giving in. Arguments can be productive when they bring troubles out into the open so they can be worked on together. When couples fight it’s important that each person feels safe to express themselves and feels that they are being heard and understood by their partner. Of course, the main goal is finding a resolution. Happy couples know this.
Myth #2: Happy Couples Do Everything Together
Happy couples may do a lot of stuff together, but they don’t always have to do everything together. Most couples wouldn’t survive waking, working and living with their other half 24/7. A happy couple does a lot together, but they also have separate interests outside of the relationship such as spending time with friends, having different hobbies and likely different occupations. The beauty of not spending all your time together is that you have something to talk about when you do come together at the end of the day.
Myth #3: Happy Couples Have Everything In Common
If happy couples had everything in common, they probably wouldn’t be so happy. Yes, it’s nice to have things in common, but it’s equally nice to have differences. Didn’t you ever hear that opposites attract? Some happy couple dynamics only exist because there are differences. In most cases, happy couples balance each other out. You don’t have to share common interests, but you can look at how you can share in each other’s fun.
Myth #4: Happy Couples Have a Perfect Sex Life
While many couples enjoy an awesome sex life, chances are that they’re not always on the same page at that same time—it’s just a fact of life. In the beginning of a relationship, sex may be frequent and experimental, but a healthy, happy relationship consists of more than just acrobatics. A spouse or lover may not be feeling amorous when you are and vice versa. Sex and intimacy are important, yes, but if you believe that happy couples always want sex at the same time, always have sex, or are always in sync when it comes to sex, then you’d be mistaken. Having a fulfilling sex life is just like everything else in Couplesville—it requires compromise.
Myth #5: Happy Couples Know the Secret to Having a Perfect Relationship
Any relationship expert would tell you that there is no secret to having a perfect relationship. There’s no recipe or written instructions. What makes a happy couple is a lot of hard work and understanding and a realization that all relationships experience ups and downs. There will be tender moments just as sure as there will be trying moments. If you understand each other and how you work best together, that’s all you need to be a generally happy couple.
We often look at other couples and wish we had what they have, but as mentioned earlier, you don’t know everything about that happy couple or how they got to be that way. No relationship is perfect and every relationship takes work. Happy couples know this; that’s why they’re happy.