4 Classic Jerk Types

Navigating the dating waters was never as difficult as it is today. The Internet has changed everything, from the way people meet to the way they communicate, obliterating established social mores in the process. One thing that hasn’t changed, however, is the preponderance of jerks in the world. They may be handsome, and even charming… but they’re trouble every time. In order to keep your heart intact, you’ll need to use your head. Once you can identify a jerk, you’ll be able to run the other way. Here’s a handy guide to the four basic types of jerk:

The Player

The Player is the quintessential noncommittal jerk. Ever the conquistador, he is attractive and knows it. The rub is that he does a good job of making you feel like you’re the only one in his life. Look for clues that he’s not being sincere. Ask him about his dating history if you want to know what he’s really about. Most people are not good at lying, so don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. Once you’ve dated enough, you will never want to put up with the player. He’s bad news, and his game gets boring real fast.

The Bad Boy

Cast in the mold of James Dean, the Bad Boy is an aloof rebel with an appealing sense of machismo about him. He’s unconventional, a sexy rule-breaker… and something about his sly persona appeals to good girls everywhere. But ladies, be warned. Think about why this guy’s edginess is so appealing to you. Maybe you’re drawn to him because you need an escape. If that’s the case, it’s important to think about making more constructive changes in your life. The bad boy is bound to self-destruct, and you don’t want to be anywhere near him when it happens.

The Flake

Is there anyone more annoying than the Flake? He’s the guy who makes plans with you, and promises to call, then falls off the map and leaves you hanging. It’s either a power trip or a mark of extreme selfishness, but face it: It’s never going to get any better. The Flake lacks fundamental respect for your time, so the only solution is to not let him have any of it!

Mr. Self-Absorbed

Blah blah blah. Mr. Self Absorbed is the guy who only talks about himself, never asks questions, and takes you to an Indian restaurant even though you mentioned that Indian is not your favorite. You finish dinner with him knowing everything about his high school football career, but he hasn’t asked you a single question. At the end of the day, this guy isn’t looking for a true partner. It’s all about his ego.

We haven’t even mentioned the Loser, the ADD Guy or the Cheapskate… but you get the idea.

What are your own “favorite” types of jerk?

35 thoughts on “4 Classic Jerk Types

  1. virginia

    Hi gina, nice article there.
    I’ve been dated with a guy who have a 4th year old kid.
    After a while the relationship seems nothing gonna wrong…
    And than he suddenly pop up the question…he asked me would i married him…
    It shocked me…coz we only met each other for 4 month and his ex suddenly called me (from where his ex knows my number,only God knows whose gave it to her).
    But in the end i said “yes” to him coz at that time i think i loved him…coz he through the hardest think in the world (asking my father permission) and i’m feel touched by his determine to marry me…

    But when his ex begging me to gave his number and i gave it to her…and suddenly he became so furious to me and said he will called of the engagement.
    And than we suddenly broke up.
    For a while i blame my self why i’ve been so stupid doing that think (gave his ex his number)..that cost me losing my relationship with him.
    But now i know that its not me…its just because he’s the one off a jerk that your article mention at..
    Now i know that ive dated “the flake”….it really annoying…a guy like that is really pathetic.

    Reply
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  4. asiandoll702

    Good day Gina Rose… Can you tell me about the name Anthony? I am very apprehensive to know.
    Thank you much! Love and Blessings!

    Reply
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  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi all,
    I only do profiling over the phone ( or in person)…..I don’t do this over a blog…..so call me, give me the persons first name and I will give you a run down on that persons personality and if anything feels hidden or “out of sinc” with that person…..and be able to tell you their intentions and feelings towards you. Doesn’t matter if it’s romance/relationship or work/career related .

    PS….. AND….It doesn’t matter if they have changed their name or not….my Guides know who they are.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  7. marymary

    Hi Gina…I’m going out on a limb! A romance I know is hopeless, but he makes me so happy. Do you pick up anything on the name Jeff? This is exciting. I love reading you. Thanks!

    Reply
  8. wordpress

    I think essentially it is partially the “who” you meet and what level of integrity they have, but it’s a continual monitoring of the status – it would be nice if you could just relax and believe that everything is fine because it seems that way, but either your spouse or “another” out there is looking for the something “new and different. If you don’t mind the store and take note of all the nuances in the relationship, you’re going to be the one who suddenly finds one day that the other person is not on the same page and you “wonder how that happened?” when everything seemed as it should be. Unfortunately, we live in a fast-paced society with a lot of low hanging fruit and the “take out/fast food” options are there all the time. I believe that women will catch on to what men have been doing for a looong time and will eventually take on the “cavalier” attitude toward relationships as well – as a way to handle/control their lives and not fall victim to the “jerks”.

    Reply
  9. Robin Childs

    Hi Gina Rose,
    I was wondering about someone who has changed their name. The guy I’m interested in calls himself Aaron, but his birth name is Harold. We have been dating for about 5 years, but just when I tink we are getting close he backs off. I used to blame myself, but now I know the problem isn’t me at all. I hope you can help. You have a wonderful gift.

    Shortcake

    Reply
  10. tink

    Hi Gina.

    What are your thoughts on the names “Andrew” and also “John”?

    Please do tell – should be interesting…

    Thanks x

    Reply
  11. nhattran

    Hi Gina,
    I met the kind of guy you talked about from Yahoo Personals. He played the Player first, then, the Flaker.
    His name is Niki. I falled for his looks in the pictures. He sent me love letters and said about commitments within weeks of dating online, which is bizarre to me as I am a computer person who works in a Virtual organization. I decided to end the relationship when his communication became lame for lame reasons.
    I like Victoria’s advice : “It’s never going to get any better. The Flake lacks fundamental respect for your time, so the only solution is to not let him have any of it!”
    It’s true. Don’t let the jerks have any of your time.

    Thanks,
    May

    Reply
  12. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi to All ,
    Call me…..give the first name and I’ll profile these guys for you……I don’t do it over a blog…..LOL

    I LITERALLY hear energy…..but you need to call me so I can listen to their energy, using you as the open channel.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    PS,
    Somebody mentioned sociopaths…..aAs far as sociopaths go…..their energy sounds very ” flatline ” to me…..no up or down ” tone or pitch ” to it at all. Remember…Psychiatrists and people in that related field send me their patients/clients…..and I’ve listened to many sociopath types.

    Reply
  13. lalauren

    i have met a guy a few weeks ago. he’s not real good at opening up and keeps alot to himself. i don’t have a good track record for making great choices in men. i tend towards the using, needy, player types. his name is henry. what do you think?

    Reply
  14. cando

    Oh yes you can love and be loved, but having enough information to be able to spot annoying behaviors and save yourself heartache is not a bad thing. Stereotyping others doesn’t help, but usually it starts off the top with simple things like looks, manner of dress, speech and so forth. After you get to know someone is when you should be able to discover whether they are a player, manipulator, liar, gold-digger or what ever. The advise for today on spotting problems is not a bad thing. Keep it in your for-what-its-worth department in your head. It might help you to limit your investment of energy and time in a relationship that would otherwise drain your emotional resources and perhaps your pocketbook. Ya gotta be smart these days. There is a lot of b.s. out there walking and talking as though they ok and you are not. Don’t fall for it guys and gals.
    Most important you don’t want to have to be the therapist in a relationship, or the person whose ideas and ideals, and wants and needs always take a back seat to someone else. If you fall into that kind of arrangement you will eventually be disillusioned, burned out and probably fed up which is not a nice feeling.

    Reply
  15. searita4

    Like the CarpetBaggers who appeared in the south after the civil war to capitalize on a poor economy and the needy. So have these modern day carpetbaggers come into the dating scene. These men are users and prey on the needy. They don’t need to date us and know we need to date them. Every one of these sorts feel they have something on us, they have much to gain by investing very little. My Carpetbagger was a fixer upper.
    He had every excuse why he couldn’t get his life together and only needed a good woman to be his savior and point the way. I spent 8 years repairing his life and spiffing him up enough to perhaps surpass the joneses. We had a goal to get him to his retirement where we would be free to travel, well 1 month before retirement he up and left me with all the debt of reparation. Had it not been me to step in, there was a line of other women waiting to replace me. All of these daters of whom we are speaking have no honor. Once you’ve been burned badly enough…your eyes are open. I believe we must be judges….If we can’t say ” This is beneath me and I won’t participate” then, we’d all be carpetbaggers. Sorry jaikrishna but reading the words that you wrote shows you in a position of judgement yourself. Namaste

    Reply
  16. wordpress

    What about the type…who seems sweet, gentlemanly, reliable, devoted, supportive and totally enamored of you because of ALL your attributes, kind of like they have found the perfect one they were looking for but secretively they carry this persona around with almost every woman who strikes their fancy (particularly when they are attractive or powerful types or both) and do that when they are not with you and then when you happen to meet these other women you know that they have been practicing their “style” with them, because the awkwardness of meeting and how (if he does) he handles the introductions. This type of guy always apologizes, convinces you that you are the only one and that he was unaware that he was doing anything wrong and proceeds to do the same thing over and over again (even with waitresses or women he sees on an everyday/life basis) – women are drawn to this because he is so friendly and “nice”. He believes that this is harmless because he “doesn’t take it any further” – but who knows when that will change and it’s destructive to your relationship/marriage because it’s a silent undercurrent of unfaithfulness repeated again and again (in his mind and actions) – no matter how much you discuss the problem or address the root of the “why”. Breeds continual distrust.

    Reply
  17. satto

    In the world of energy i similar attract similar. We only attract or get attracted to them whom we like or when we are alike.

    When we attracted a jerk we liked a jerk or we are a jerk.

    No use blaming the jerk. we are responsible for our own actions.

    Reply
  18. amy1

    Gina please tell me about the names

    Stephen who goes by Steve. His middle name is Grant

    Roy

    I think I read once that both names are “Kingly”. 1st is a Leo and 2nd an Aries.

    Reply
  19. Yas

    I enjoy spending time with the Player/Bad Boy type and I usually don’t characterize them as jerks – as long as you know what you are getting yourself into. I do believe it takes a strong personality do put up with them without getting your identity disrespected. In my history, they all retired from their bad habits during our relationships but maybe that’s the exception to the rule?

    I believe that people go through periods where they experience what they need to and if they reach a time to “retire their ways”, so to speak, they do. I don’t believe it comes from a bad place, but I do believe that a woman who doesn’t want to, doesn’t needs to tolerate it.

    I think most of these men are very straight forward with their intentions but often women manipulate the situation to serve their needs.I do believe there are those deceitful ones, and there are a lot of those, but all in all I believe most men described above, are straight forward with who they are and what they want.

    Reply
  20. Jacqueline

    Hi Victoria,
    Love your article, What about the “Taker” one who cant seem to give anything back, but oh I just need some help with my laundry I have had such a bad day at work, I’m so stressed, I haven’t eaten in days my paycheck was shorter than expected I think they jipped me.

    Another one Is, I want to come see you but my car isn’t working right, low on gas, need new tires, and oh did I mention the transmission is going out and the bank keeps messing up on my account.

    Sometimes we meet those guys who just take, take, take and cant seem to give anything back.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

    Reply
  21. Jai Krishna Ponnappan

    Well Gina like the animals of the forest who go through with the processes of life, we come into this world without first names or much of an ego. The ego of jerks and non- jerks……. men and women alike takes our souls on a spiritual journey. It inflates and deflates based on the disposition of our deeds and desires. And then when that day comes….whether it’s an accident, unexpected sickness, natural causes or cancer we are left in the hospital bed humbled without much of an ego as we go on our way out just as we made our way in. So do not date or fall in love with the ego. There is so much more to being alive and human, discover and look for these things. With all the wonderful names that speech has blessed our species with, its important to respect the blessings, the blessed and the one who has blessed. If the ego of jerks and non-jerks are such an incredibly hard thing to deal with then seek the humble and make sure that it isn’t a mask or a mere superficial nicety. You can love the humble heart with more ease. But if you can love every heart that beats….. unconditionally it only reflects on your ability and strength in love.

    P.S- Stock markets, Sales, ……….Investors….Now I must admit those are some really impressive skills. Wow…..I look forward to being your future client, Gina 🙂

    – Blessings and Love to One & All. Stay clear of that jerk but do have some respect and love in your hearts for all life. Peace.

    Reply
  22. misskrystalmisskrystal

    loved this! don’t let a jerk get the best of you! it would be my pleasure to help -please call me.
    miss krystal

    Reply
  23. r0sina1981r0sina1981

    Victoria,

    This was pretty entertaining..I wish they had this blog years earlier when I started dating. Let’s not forget the “COMPULSIVE LIAR”..He tries to be a player, but doesn’t have the looks or skills. And his lies keep blowing up in his face yet never learns from them…LOL

    Reply
  24. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi,

    Internet dating can be challenging…..here is another common type : The type of guy/gal who will rush in , burning with fire, passion, and commitment…..only to turn around and see him literally vanish in weeks. This type does not know what he/she wants to begin with, loves the thought of being in love, loves the thrill of the chase, and as soon as he/she has ” captured ” you….instantly gets bored and is off chasing somebody else!

    Ladies, ( and Gentlemen ),……give me a first name, all I need is a first name, and I will give you a personality profile on whoever you wish……for whatever the reason.

    I excel at first name profiles, I do first name profiles for Psychiatrists, Law Enforcement, and Employers…..as well as general relationships. Sales people will run down a list of names for me to look at as prospects too. Office workers will give me names on co-workers to size up. Corporate heads will give me names to consider for who is the right fit for the right job. Stock Market and financial Investors will read off the names of companies they are considering investing in

    First name profiling , is what I consider to be, flat-out FUN…..I’ve done it for years !!!!! I will listen to their energy for you and my Guides & I will size them right up.

    Let’s have some fun……let my Guides profile these people for you BEFORE you get in too deep!

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  25. Jai Krishna Ponnappanjaikrishna

    Ms. Victoria thank you for opening my eyes to prejudice and the truth that stereotypes are preconcieved perceptions we walk around with in our heads. We are conditioned to see through the lens of our ideas about right and wrong. Its so nice and easy to judge a book by the cover when you lack the open mindedness, patience and passion to read through the pages. Artificial/superficial heavenly standards have been set up for jumping to conclusions so that we can escape the torture of doing the due diligence of living life and treating people with a basic amount of humanity and dignity. And to judge, scrutinize, psycho analyze and disect people to the very last fault we can find is something thats not very common among the slum dwellers of Africa or the homeless in Pasadena. They value life with a sense of struggle and hardship. They are just as human and they need love too, so date them for they’re just as worthy of happiness as every other creature your eyes can behold. Remember the way you judge some one opens the doors to your mentality being judged. Including the way you percieve the way they appear, the clothes, they wear, the way they think, the way they treat us are all very reflective of your personal value system and the way you relate to members of society in general. Everything and everyone all of sudden seems absolutely intolerable and wrong or right by some mysterious illusionary standard. Human beings are complex creatures and everyone is extremely unique and come with a story and special gifts or talents that their creator has blessed them with. How can we possibly serve, care for or love a person regardless of social structures and walls unless we kick aside the false truths and ignorance that constrains and chokes are freedom to do so. It’s like the prejudiced attitude and iconoclasm that the structured norms of christianity or abrahamic religions have towards things like psychic abilities and alternative faiths. Armed with Love and Truth any psychic can confront hypocrisy in its face coming from all sources. There is a potential for good and bad in everyone and every idea. Remember the most sinful of men and women deserve to love and be loved. Society has shaped these people into who they are and society has no right to punish them for its own mistakes. Jerk labels for men and women are not heaven sent. Both the butterfly and the beast are God’s creatures, in judging them you offend their creator who’ll judge you by your standards. Love is unconditional to its very core. I understand that the wholesomeness of Love isn’t a priority to many who go sailing on these superficial and mundane dating waters. Sail on spiritual waters instead and the truth in love will set you free.

    – I hope the tide of time will enlighten and cleanse us with unconditional Love 🙂

    Reply

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