The cynics among us would say that it is inevitable—that all good things must come to an end, including romantic relationships. However, it would be nice to have some warning of the catastrophe before it descends upon us. Maybe then we could avert disaster, or at the very least prepare ourselves for optimally surviving the break up and moving on to a more serendipitous relationship. By sharpening our intuitive skills, we can teach ourselves to spot the telltale signs of a relationship going bad. The sooner we can distinguish these, the faster we can move on to Mr. Right.
When there is a noticeable drop in the amount of quality time you two spend together, you need to examine the cause. Is your partner distancing themselves from you either physically or emotionally? If all of the sudden he doesn’t have as much time for you because he has made other plans which don’t include you, he’s telling you that he’d rather spend time with someone else. If one or both of you find yourselves consistently in different rooms of the house, doing different things instead of spending time together, this reveals a lack of connection between the two of you.
Physical communication, like cuddling and sex, are an integral and important part of a relationship; if neither of you are making the time to snuggle or get hot and heavy in the bedroom, you will continue to grow apart and probably end up looking for this attention elsewhere. Partners can also distance themselves from each other emotionally, by keeping conversations short and shallow, avoiding eye contact and simply acting less interested in their mates and the connection their relationship is built on. If both of you begin to invest less time and emotion in the relationship, it will not last.
Disagreements are a part of every relationship, and to a certain degree can be healthy for a couple. When two different people share so much of their time and lives, there are bound to be things that they don’t agree upon. Hashing out these problems in a disagreement allows both of you to get your feelings out so that you can come to some conclusion or compromise.
Arguments within a relationship that is in trouble can go both ways. If both people stop arguing completely, this can be a sign of your lack of emotional investment in the partnership. It’s easy to avoid quarrels if neither of you maintains a personal investment in one another. In this sense, arguments can be good, as they show the other person that their partner does care and is willing to fight about whatever the issue is in order to reach a compromise.
On the other hand, if you both start quarreling constantly about the littlest of things, this can be a bad sign. Constant arguments just add up to “I’m not happy in this relationship anymore.” Nitpicking with your mate sets the stage for constant bickering, giving either of you the opportunity to say something to the effect of “the relationship just isn’t working anymore.”
3. Comparison Shopping?
When your honey starts comparing you to other women or other relationships, you need to stop and evaluate. Comparing someone to another is equivalent to saying “I don’t like you as you are, and I wish you would change.” This degrades you and your relationship, and may be a sign that he is either not over a previous woman, or has already turned his eyes to “greener” pastures. Either way, your partner has decided on a set of essentials that you don’t measure up to. This is the signal to get out before he undermines your self-esteem, allowing you to find a guy who appreciates you above all others.
4. Living for the Moment
Most couples invest their time and energy into a relationship in the hopes that it will turn into something permanent and valuable. While you should appreciate each moment with your partner, you should always have an eye towards the future. You can do this by making plans with your loved one for future trips and quality time together. If one or both of you has stopped doing this, committing only to whatever you may plan for the moment, you may want to re-evaluate the relationship. If you two cannot comfortably speak of future plans as a couple, if you cannot feel excitement about your future together, you will not put in the effort to get there.